Last week, I met a good (albeit weird) friend of mine who had had a week from hell and was dying to spill the beans to someone. By Friday evening she was seething through gritted teeth and some time during our first bottle of wine, she concluded that a good dose of nonsense gas had been released somewhere around the world, and that Malta must have been in the eye of the storm.
I couldn’t but agree, and here are 10 weirdly amusing things that will convince even you that a particularly strong nonsense gas was in fact released on our islands:
1. Free porn in Bugibba square - a group of youths manage to hack into the security settings of an interactive panel in Bugibba so that tourists looking for directions were treated to a loop of porn in broad daylight.
2. John Dalli goes from seeking a symbolic €1 in damages for allegedly being forced to resign as EU Commissioner, to suing for a not-so-symbolic €1.9million.
3. The Office of the Prime Minister conveniently and inexplicably drums up a new communications policy which conveniently left out some media houses from accompanying the Prime Minister to China. At the same time, our taxes were used to cover the cost of three specially selected media houses.
4. During a press conference to announce the ex-Police Commissioner’s resignation, Minister Manuel Mallia refers to Peter Zammit as “Pietru-Pawl Busuttil.” The latter is the former Safi mayor who in the late 80s had been framed by a Labour Party government and accused of the murder of PN activist Raymond Caruana.
5. This idiot, presumably a Maltese man, gored by a bull whilst wearing a T-shirt with an incorrectly written and particularly vulgar message that was supposedly aimed at the bull.
6. Green Tea Mao Feng which is a beverage veneered by the ‘eat clean’ enthusiasts of this world and which is believed to give users lots of NATURAL ‘ying’ and ‘yang’ was recalled from the market because of elevated levels of pesticides!
7. Two women get strip-searched for accidentally hitting a policeman with a flag and (shock horror) making him bend his neck.
8. In their attempt to create a fake love story for the silver screen, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit, spoil a real love story and a real couple’s dream of getting married on (what is now) their movie set. A 53-year-old woman, who had planned to marry her partner David Ellis, 51, on October 4 discovered that they are likely to have their wedding plans cancelled because the area in Gozo that they had planned to get married at, will be closed off for filming Jolie’s and Pit’s small time movie.
9. World Cup hosts Brazil lose 7-1 to Germany and some loonies in Malta are carcading their horns off.
10. ESPN thinking it fit to broadcast a close up shot of this kid at the exact moment when his whole world fell apart.
