“Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning” – Winston Churchill.

In 1940, Europe was in the clutches of the Nazis. Britain was on its knees. No one had ever conquered the mainland so quickly. This foe threatened to end ‘any civilised order in the world’. It had superior planes, tanks and guns.

Winston Churchill, the charismatic Prime Minister of the UK, knew this was a grave time. He focused on military planning but, more importantly, he gave attention to the people, for ultimately it was they who determined if Britain would win or lose the war.

Whether we are preparing dinner for business, a conference or a birthday, we have a motive. It could be to finalise a contract, increase our contacts or to enjoy good company.

If you want to reach your objective, remember that it’s all about your guests. But if you succeed, it will all be about you.

Hospitality was considered to be a sacred honour in many cultures. Guests you entertain could be gods in disguise, with the power to grant you what you need.

If you believe a guest at your table can be so important to you, a visit to the temple of hospitality is a must. It is based on 10 firm pillars, each having a tip inscription:

• Be empathic. Put yourself in that person’s position and try to understand them;

• Don’t be judgemental. No one is superior or has the last say. The ancient Greeks believed not even Zeus, the supreme god, did, as even divinities were overruled by fate.

• Commend others: praise their achievements but don’t flatter;

• The conversation is not about you. Encourage others to speak about themselves;

• Remember one’s name, title and what they do;

• Listen because it is courteous to be honestly interested in others, and because it is nicer for the other person to talk more than you do;

• Be truthful in your appreciation but tactful not to offend anyone by being too sincere;

• Admit mistakes. As much as you should not point out to another person that they are wrong, when you are, you should freely admit it and promptly apologise for it;

• Everybody has pride and once people start with a no, it is very difficult to change their minds. Try to get them to say yes from the start;

• Smile genuinely.

FAQs

What if a guest is being impossible?

There are times when you would have to exercise your authority as host to protect your other guests. If such an unfortunate thing happens, it should be approached with the greatest diplomacy and very discreetly.

What is meant by greatest diplomacy?

When the person in question does not listen to logic and is in clear breach of etiquette, you might wish to invite them to go to hell. If you do, you have to do it in such a way that they are looking forward to the trip.

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The author is publishing two books: a historical novel based around the siege of Malta in 1565 entitled The Humanist, the Cossack, and the Siege and a self-help book on etiquette entitled Preparing Dinner for the Olympian Gods.

Kristian Bonnici is the founder and chief executive of Diplomatic Envoy Consultancy.