If you slit open my brain at the moment all you’d find is WORLD CUP stamped in bold and italics all over the place. And it’s not just goals and scores, it’s also useless information such as: Why are players wearing unmatching shoes? Does Pirlo perform better because of his beard? How does Casillas’ mummy feel each time the Spanish goalkeeper lets yet another ball bomb into his net?

But in any case, in between reading football updates and praying to God that for once, just for once, England make it to the quarters, I came across a tiny news item that made me all nostalgic.

Belleview in Mellieħa has been knocked down to make space for apartments, a supermarket and a car park. It has been closed for years now, but Belleview was a landmark of my childhood.

On the way back home after a day at Little Armier beach, we’d always stop for warm jam-filled doughnuts, fresh from the bakery. I can still evoke the smell of the bakery, blended with the smell of sea salt on our skins, and sun tan lotion and the damp whiff of the darkened cafeteria.

Three decades ago, lest we forget, there were no ‘tad-donuts’ vans trawling every corner of the island. In fact, the more I think about it the more I realise that three decades ago there were barely any junk food places in Malta. No McDonald’s, no Burger King or Chick King.

Fine, there was a Wimpy in Gżira, but they served burgers on plates and with a knife and fork. And in any case, everyone just went there for that Knickerbocker Glory ice cream.

Today, fast food outlets are the norm: even pastizzi shops have mushroomed all over. Is it the reason why we are all so, well, fatter?

Possibly. But it’s not for wont of information about healthy eating. Open a magazine and we’re bombarded with diet suggestions: Red wine? Last week it was the best thing for cardiac health, this week it’s a poison chalice for cholesterol. Fruit? Last week it was all about detoxing on it, this week we’re told to avoid fruit because of their sugar content.

It can do you head in. So I stick to my own diet: ‘Kristina’s Eat-in-Style-Diet’. Life is not about what you do but how you do it. It applies to everything: Are you going to kick a minister out of your Cabinet? Don’t do it with a text. Are you going to steal a priceless painting? Then do it in manner of Thomas Crown.

Today, fast food outlets are the norm: even pastizzi shops have mushroomed

Same goes for eating: it’s not what you eat but how you eat it. A.A. Gill, The Sunday Times of London restaurant critic said recently: “What matters, what will keep you healthy, is how you go about eating it. It’s the way most people now consume their food that is the reason they put on weight. Eating with your hands is ruinous for the rest of your figure. Sitting on a sofa stuffing hand to mouth allows you to consume without consideration or concentration. You chew less and shovel more.”

Here’s is a little survey based on Gill’s theories, to help you check if you’re eating well or not:

Where do you eat?

A: I always eat sitting at a table that is properly set for a meal.

B: Lying down on the sofa, or standing up, or as I’m rushing along in the street, or in the car.

How do you eat?

A: I always eat with a knife and fork or chopsticks.

B: I cram food in my mouth using my fingers.

With whom do you eat?

A: Always in company and I pace eating to pause and talk.

B: On my own, on the go.

What do you look at while eating?

A: The people I’m lunching with and the food on my plate.

B: Television. I do not know how to eat without a screen in the room.

What do you think about while eating?

A: The gastronomy of the food and the topic being discussed at the table.

B: I think about whatever is on the screen.

When do you eat?

A: I eat meals at fixed times: breakfast, lunch and dinner.

B: Every time I feel hungry.

What do you drink during lunch and dinner?

A: Water or wine.

B: Soft drinks.

If you got all As, well done: you are abiding by the rules for a healthy lifestyle. If you got mostly Bs, then I’m sorry to say you need to sit down and stop being so hyper.

krischetcuti@gmail.com
Twitter: @KrisChetcuti

Postscript: None of these rules apply during the World Cup, when you are allowed to eat in front of a screen and cram comfort food in your mouth, most especially when England are playing.