The World Cup, apart from the fact that it comes in summer when most people are in slow-down mode anyway, is a godsend to Governments such as ours, that prefer their little foibles to remain unexamined by an inquisitive Fourth Estate.

Minister Manuel Mallia, for instance, must just love the fact that most of us seem to be more worried about why England got dumped out (because their squad is made up of a bunch of over-paid egomaniacs, maybe?) or whether Italy deserve to get through against Uruguay (hope they do, I want to be able to tease their supporters throughout the KO stage) than about the way he’s allowed the Army and the Catering Corps to be turned into a fiefdom for those who think that political affiliation is a relevant criterion for advancement.

You will note that I haven’t identified anyone in particular, mainly because I don’t have concrete evidence that Joe Bloggs is checking MLP Membership Registers before raising Josephine Smithson to the exalted rank of Chief Cook & Bottlewasher, but the fact remains that it is the Minister who bears political responsibility and it is the Minister who should answer in the House for this sort of thing.

You’ll note I wrote “should” before “answer in the House”, because from what I hear, the dear chap doesn’t seem to have taken to heart the lessons learnt at the knee of our Constitutional Law Professor back thirty-six or more years ago. You know the ones I mean, the lessons relating to separation of powers, Ministerial responsibility and parliamentary procedure, those one.

Mallia also needs to answer the questions raised about why his Chief of Staff has been allowed to retain his position, perceived as it is as being of some power over the cops, while he has a criminal case pending. May he be found not guilty and all that, and anyway he’s innocent until the sword of the law finally falls, but he’s seen to be in a position to influence the police (whether he actually can or not, that’s the perception) so Mallia should do something about it.

And if Mallia doesn’t, Muscat should, he’s the one at whose desk the buck stops at the end of the day, whether or not we, The People, give a darn about this.

Perhaps the PM was too busy putting his thoughts together in anticipation of taking up a part-time job as a football pundit to give enough time to governing the country and keeping his Ministers in order, but if this is the case, Muscat should stick to his day job. I mean, saying that the Uruguayan ‘keeper kept getting hit by the ball when in fact the ruddy fool was making good saves (on the rare occasion he was troubled by the English, anyway) demonstrates something of a serious knowledge-deficit about the Beautiful Game on the PM’s part.

Football apart, we need to give some attention to other things.

For instance, and just to mention one, what is this about us being the most snooped-upon country in Europe when it comes to mobile-phone monitoring? I’ve never been particularly worried about saying what I think, even when it was common knowledge that you’d be heard most times you made a call (either because someone was actually listening or because Mintoff’s parsimony caused us to have a phone system that was used by the Turks during the Siege) but I take umbrage at the possibility that Manwel Mallia’s minions can listen in at will.

I know there are systems in place to stop this being abused, but I trust I will be forgiven for having something of a sceptical outlook on this, given that it has been reported that the Security Monitoring Committee hasn’t met for over a year. The Security Commissioner, who was spoken to by the Independent on Sunday, is a fine upstanding gentleman (and there’s no sarcasm there, he is) but he’s only one man, without even an office that I can find on the the Internet.

I’m sorely tempted to buy a throw-away phone, you know, like those what the drug dealers use, innit, and pretend to be setting up a dastardly plan to accost the Minister when he rocks up to his office, suitably armed with custard pies and shaving foam (me, not him) and seeing if security is raised around the Ministry from its current level. This currently consists in a somewhat less than impressive soldier standing around watching the girls go by, so stepping it up won’t be a difficult job.

I hope I won’t be accused of endangering the country’s security, peace and tranquility by reporting that Minister Mallia is vulnerable and exposed.