Simonne Pace catches up with Simshar actress and TV personality Clare Agius, mother of two-year-old Luke, who talks about the joys of motherhood, her booming career and her simple family life.

Motherhood hasn’t changed TV presenter and actress Clare Agius all that much. She is still as energetic and bubbly as ever, with a multitude of plans up her sleeve and a fully-blown career ahead of her.

Clare has been extremely busy lately, especially on the set of Simshar, a locally-produced film which premiered last Sunday, in which she plays Sharin, mother of Theo, who is sent on his first trip with his Maltese seafaring family, but things go terribly wrong when the Simshar sinks, leaving the crew stranded in the Mediterranean.

Mother of two-year-old Luke, Clare, 39, who has also just launched her website clareagius.com, says all this has been possible thanks to her mother and husband Paul, who support her unconditionally and permit her to continue growing in all her endeavours.

“On the other hand, I’ve become very selfish of my time with Luke and make sure I dedicate a good amount of hours to him daily. My own ‘me’ time has been replaced with the time I spend with my son, which is the highlight of my day. I also base any work decisions I take on how much of that time my work schedule will eat into. This has made me more selective in my work projects and I’m finding this to be a positive thing,” Clare says.

Mother’s Day, Clare says, is an occasion to celebrate every other day of the year, because a mother’s bond, support and love are shown altruistically throughout.

“Of course, now that I’m a mother, I value this more than ever. It’s only normal that when you’re growing up you go through the rebellious stage of wanting to become totally independent and gain your status as an adult. In fact, I see my relationship with my mother now to be stronger than ever. Having said that, I cannot forget the values she brought us up with, especially her immense patience and love, which make me the person I am today.”

Clare hopes to pass on these important values to her son, as she believes they are crucial to the foundation of childhood, which establishes who we are to be as adults.

When Luke finally arrived, I treated it as a new experience, one that would teach me as I went along

“I also find that discipline works well with my son. With just one look from my mother, we used to realise that we were misbehaving. When I give my son that kind of look, I can see that he too understands. I don’t know how long it will last, but I strongly believe you have to mother with a heart of gold… but with discipline.”

For Clare, who lives a simple life with her husband and son, together with Pierot, their cat, and Rain, a springer spaniel she rescued some time ago, family is a priority. However, she has continued to grow in all aspects of her career. Besides her acting and presenting, she enjoys a healthy way of life, is into homeopathic remedies and practises yoga with a passion.

Clare never thought much of motherhood before she met her husband. “It was only when I met Paul that I felt I wanted to be a mother. In a matter of a year, I knew I wanted to have a baby. But I never imagined or daydreamt about how it would be. So when Luke finally arrived, I treated it as a new experience, one that would teach me as I went along,” says Clare, who, as a child, spent most of her time being creative, reading and observing people.

Tender loving care: precious mother-and-son moment. Photos: Valentina Lupo

She observes other mothers and their children but she is not one to compare, judge or criticise: “I believe the dynamics of a family and the combination of the characters determine what kind of bond you will have with your child.

“With my son, I feel it is important to give him his freedom and not ‘make him mine’. He has his own developing character and my intention is to guide him towards being the best he can. So, while I have a strong bond with him, I have to set him free. Khalil Gibran said in his book The Prophet: ‘Children come through you but are not yours.’ I always try to keep this in mind,” says Clare.

A person who values happiness and inner peace, Clare tries not to focus too much on her fears. She admits, however, that her biggest fear is that something could happen to her son.

“I try not to make a fuss when Luke falls and try to be very strong when he is sick, so that I can act rationally and in the best way possible. However, there are times when he is not with me and there are more to come, so I need to prepare myself well. I believe in freedom but I also want to give Luke a strong foundation based on love, caution, responsibility and respect. The rest is up to him.”

Clare’s joys as a mother are witnessing her son’s simplest gestures every day, such as waking up in the morning to see his beaming face, hearing him say a word for the first time or repeating it endlessly, watching him play, observing how he reacts to people, seeing him dressed up or picking him up from the nursery and hearing him blabber about his day.

“The list is endless,” she says.

Seeing herself as a practical mother to Luke, Clare says she wishes to think of herself as also being a balanced parent, which at times is overthrown by the demands of life itself. But she strives towards that goal.

“I want to be there for my son in all that he will encounter but at the same time I do not wish to be possessive. So, while I love him with all my heart, my role is to help him grow into a decent human being. I hug him and kiss him, but I do not spoil him and try to be very patient when correcting him. I do it firmly but calmly. I find creative ways to divert his mind if a tantrum is on its way and I continue to discover ways on how to deal with him and being a mother. It’s actually exciting,” says Clare, who can knock one out with her energy but is extremely calm.

I would love my son to be adventurous, sporty and creative, but he has to find his own passions in life and I’m just eager to see what they will be and hope to be there to support him

She wakes up at around seven with her son’s “Mummy mummy”, which always puts a smile on her face, even though sometimes she is so tired from sleeping late and accumulated work from previous days. However, her morning routine with Luke is important and nine days out of 10, it is not rushed.

Mother and son have breakfast together, play for a while, get washed and dressed for the day ahead and are out of the house by 9am. She takes him to a nursery, where Luke spends his morning. He is picked up at 12.30pm by either her or her mother, depending on how much work she has on that day.

“If lunch is possible, we eat together. If not, I must carry on with the rest of my day and let him have a nap at his grandparents. I usually pick him up between 4 and 6pm, after which it’s home, dinner and playtime, followed by bedtime. We also do bath-time, read books and say a prayer.

“Sometimes I have to carry on working but I do try to strike a balance on a weekly basis and make sure we spend two or three days together all day doing things outside the norm.”

What are you doing this Mother’s Day?

Clare doesn’t hesitate to answer: “As long as I’m with my family, I don’t care much. I’m not one to be out and about on a busy day, so I will probably opt for a nice, home-made cooked dinner and nothing else to do except being with my son and family.”

What about a mother-to-son message for Mother’s Day. Clare says: “I wish my son to be smart, loved by others and not to stop at anything short of being who he wants to be. I would love him to be adventurous, sporty and creative, but he has to find his own passions in life and I’m just eager to see what they will be and hope to be there to support him.”