Some pieces of torn cardboard hanging on a few strings. On them, children are invited to write their ‘Big Questions’ during one of the Prayer Spaces that are spreading in schools and groups. Reading their prayers reveals not only what these children are living but also the kind of life we adults are offering them.
Easter Sunday is an appropriate day to listen to what the children are saying. Without rushing to conclusions it would be unfair to these children if we do not listen. How can God listen to their prayers if we – their parents, guardians and educators – do not?
The cute simplicity of the very young ones shines out. Life is a wondrous miracle with its big questions. “Jesus, do you know what flowers are?”; “Jesus, do you know how to babysit babies?” As they grow, other more demanding questions creep in: “I am very sad”; “Why can’t I see you God? I love you and I believe in you”; “How do I love?”
The questions get harder as life experiences make them more self-conscious. “What is life all about?”; “Why do children suffer?”; “Why do some people fight?” The fighting they often refer to is the fighting at home, with their siblings, but most of all between their parents.
Heart-rending prayers and questions show the deep hurts caused by family and parental conflicts: “Can you make my parents get along better?”; “Why does mummy feel sad?”; “Why are my parents always fighting? They deserve better!”
Their own suffering comes forcefully to the surface too: “Why did my brother have autism?”; “Why do I have ADHD? I don’t understand?”; “Why did I have to have PTSD [Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder] as a seven-year-old?”
Easter is a good day for us adults to ask ourselves some big questions
Late childhood and early adolescence soon turns the questions into real and deep personal crises: “I pray that my hope lasts forever”; “I wish to lead a happy life, coz I feel lost”; “Am I good enough for you?”; “Will I be able to be thin, not ugly, and will someone (not you, God) notice that all I do is to hide behind my jokes?”.
The loneliness that is too often buried behind the quiet faces of children can be heart-rending: “Jesus, do you know that I am in trouble?; “Why do I feel so alone? Sometimes I want to disappear!” “Why is trusting others so difficult?”
No wonder that they feel inadequate and of little value, lowering their self-esteem to miserable levels. “Why do I always disappoint everyone. Why? I don’t want to be like this!”; “Why am I never good enough for anyone? I don’t deserve it. I hate myself.”
In some children all this leads to a tragic despair. “Why do I wish to be dead?”; “Why must I suffer so much that I want to know what it means to be dead?”; “Why do I think of suicide?”
Recent news stories confirm to what extent these questions are for real. Why are our children thinking more frequently of suicide and death? How can we celebrate a Risen Christ if even one child sees death as the answer to the riddle of life?
Easter is a good day for us adults to ask ourselves some big questions: Does loss of hope in our children result from our own? Are they wishing to die because we adults are not willing to ‘die’ for them? Can hope survive their sadness and ours?
As Fr Steve Curtin SJ writes: “When we allow all this sadness to rest in our hearts, ‘Happy Easter’ may sound as incongruous to us as it would have to the disciples in the early morning after Jesus’s killing. But a few hours later, nothing else would have done. They then, as we now, were caught by the unlikely and irrepressible happiness of Easter, of God’s love and care for us cancelling out all the calculations whose bottom line was death.”
Easter is when we cancel our human calculations to allow God’s irresponsible happiness be the hope of the child within us.
pchetcuti@gmail.com
Fr Chetcuti is a member of the Society of Jesus.