Twelve months on from our landslide triumph, I hope you are all as happy as I am at the way in which Jo-zeff... with a little help from the rest of us, has transformed our island into the paradise you see all around you today.

My undying admiration... no, deep adoration of our charismatic and lovable (c & l) leader is well known, but I also carry a torch (A Partit Laburista torch naturally) for his gracious and lovely spouse, Meeshell (sic). Oh yes, hers is the sweet and loving presence by his side as he carries out his great humanitarian and governatorial missions.

And did you know that, by an extraordinary coincidence, the US also has a first lady called Meeshell. Very sensible of them; but of course, our own, our very own Meeshell is the true epitome of sophistication and couth. And yes, one more reason why Jo-zeff carries all before him.

But to weightier matters – and one in particular: I would like here and now to put the record straight regarding some remarks I may have made in a recent blogpost concerning our little tubby minister for justification, Manuel... or, as we in the lobby call him, Tweedledum.

I have nothing but complete admiration for Tweedledum and I totally deplore those that accuse me of implying that his record in office is such that it makes the record of Austin in the last administration look almost adequate. Absolute rubbish... Tweedledum is much more adequate than Austin could ever dream of being, so there!

And even if he does strike some people as being of less use than Viagra in a monastery, I would like to reiterate that the government of our c & l leader is an all-inclusive government. We welcome everyone, however useless they are. We even hold out the hand of friendship to those margins of society that some people wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. Disparate elements like that little Sliemezi wooftah who did the decent thing some time back and defected from the Opposition. Oh yes, all are welcome in Malta Tagħna lkoll.

Another myth that the vestigial remains of the Opposition seem determined to pursue is the one that equates Jo-zeff’s administration’s attitude towards culture as akin to that of the Ugandan government towards men-only saunas. Ridiculous! And to prove the point we... that is, the party has just mounted a much clamoured for – and universally appreciated – revival of the greatest musical extravaganza this country, nay Europe, has ever seen... yes, Ġensna has once more been performed on a Maltese stage. High culture at its absolute apex! Follow that Simon B.

Ġensna is once more to be performed on a Maltese stage. High culture at its absolute apex!

Then what about all that fuss about the liquid gas ship? Honestly, I sometimes wonder what motivates the opposition MPs... both of them. Jo-zeff has said – no, promised that the good Labour-voting citizens of Marsaxlokk are in no danger of the thing blowing up – and I totally agree with him. Mind you, I’ll bet that handful of Marsaxlokk misfits, gullible enough to have voted for the other lot in the last election are sweating a bit.

And finally, at least for this month, what about our great leader’s latest gift to the nation. Yes, I am indeed referring to his gift of free utilities. Well, OK maybe not absolutely free, but very nearly. Where the other lot – when they had the gvern – piled on the financial agony, we, or that is, Jo-zeff is dedicated to lightening the burden on every citizen of our beloved country.

And here and now, on the behalf of every Maltese citizen, at least every left-leaning Maltese citizen, I would like to say a big sincere grazzi to our c & l capo for all that he has done, is doing... and no doubt will do for us: Grazzi Jo-zeff and prosit.

Comments:

Red Ned writes:

Go for it Backbencher; I love it when you talk dirty to me.

Blue is the colour writes:

Roll on 2018, when we can get rid of this gang of incompetents.