Thinking Maltese roads were mad, Mark Strijbosch realises he had it easy at home as he dodges the cows on a motorbike during a memorable visit to Pune.
Slightly off balance, we swerved between two vehicles as the loud beeping grew nearer. Yellow and green tuk-tuks crept between the crevices left by larger cars like woodlouse on the road.
Have you ever seen what eight lanes squashed into four look like? Just hit any large city in India to enjoy the adventure of a lifetime.
Sweaty tourists grip the sidebars of their tuk-tuks for their lives and musical horns sound for constant communication. Each car has “Honk Please” hand-painted in the cheesy Hindi style that is the way of life here in Pune: honk to let us know you are here, and never bother using those things called indicators. And I thought Maltese roads were bad.
In a snapshot of a busy morning, you had me and my manic companion on our little motorbike, a countless number of overcrowded tuk-tuks, cars of all sizes, a massive army truck which was surely never tested for an MOT, and last but not least, a cow blocking half the road without a care in the world.
If that wasn’t enough, people were happy to cross, or attempt to cross, the road at any given moment; it’s no wonder some walk with a heavy limp.
Helmets on the road were just an accessory. Without one I felt young and free, with the wind in my hair making me feel like a 1980s film star, but I was soon rudely awakened from my fantasy by a sneezing fit due to the amount of fine dark dust clouding the air. My sneeze caused another swerve, but my driver was a pro and our bike, old and small though she was, knew what she was doing.
Driving was half the fun in Pune, one of the most charming cities in India. It was one of those in-between cities which still had one foot routed in tradition while the other roamed free. Kids played cricket wherever they could and away from the chaos of the road life was rather calm.
Sundays were bliss. After a late wake-up call, our stallion, the 25-year-old Honda, took us for a traditional breakfast. For a fiver one could enjoy a feast of Indian treats which certainly didn’t lack sugar.
The treat that followed was not your usual dessert. We whizzed our way across town to a local barber shop; nothing defines gentleman’s tradition more than this. He nodded towards a chair and I sat, sinking two inches into his old, foamy seat. After a jerk up to a comfy height and a long gaze from the barber ,the treatment was ready to begin, starting with a heavy slap across the top of the head, and another, followed by another.
I lost count of the slaps and stars that I saw but I eventually found myself enjoying this odd experience, which I am sure is banned in Europe for safety reasons.
Eyes now firmly shut, I remember a pause for breath followed by a loud noise. One eye peeped open and I soon realised I was in some sort of trouble. The barber was now wearing a glove resembling that worn by villains from horror movies and the noise grew louder as it landed on my head. His hand was now vibrating and causing my head to shake in all the right places. He rubbed and squeezed while smiling through his 1980s moustache as I clung onto the frame of my seat.
Sheepishly I rose after my slow awakening and was ushered into the blazing heat of the street. I now felt immune to anything, ready for our next mad bike ride and any adventure that awaited.
Our lazy afternoon continued with a trip to the famous Bollywood cinema screens and this could not have been any better. The love for the cinema here is unrivalled as a packed theatre greeted us.
The barber’s hand was now vibrating and causing my head to shake in all the right places. He rubbed and squeezed while smiling through his 1980s moustache as I clung onto the frame of my seat
The movie had no subtitles or English name, but it had the right balance of cheese and action to make it enjoyable. Thought you were cool for clapping at the credits in Europe? Everyone here gets up and dances in the cinema throughout the movie’s sing-alongs; it’s a real peoples’ experience. Whistles and cheers were heard as the stars appeared on the screen, and wow do they love a good kissing scene in these parts.
I did not understand a word of the movie but this did not stop me from having a superb time. I can truly say it was one of my favourite movies of all time, not because of the acting but simply because of the experience.
The dream in Pune had to end soon, but our two-wheeled stallion had more places to take us. Saying goodbye to Pune was not easy, but a warm home-cooked meal from the loving family we stayed with fuelled us for our next adventure. Kindness in India is a way of life and the family and friends I met there made me feel very at home.
Next stop: Hampi!