Ever wondered where the magic happens when it comes to offline dating? Here’s a guide by Iggy Fenech on where to go, how to approach it and how to connect with potential partners – tech-free.

Being single definitely has its perks: you spend all your money on yourself, there’s no one to tell you off for doing what you want to do, and you’re basically as free as a bird. But it gets lonely sometimes, and you just want someone to hug you. You want to be intimate with someone you actually know.

Finding that person is a winding road and the battlefield that is love has seen many fall, be maimed, claim victory and get downtrodden unexpectedly. Love, unlike the next online delivery you’re expecting, is too personal to leave in the hands of the Internet. There is simply too much at stake.

But how can you find love offline these days? Where does the magic happen? The answer is relatively simple: where it’s always happened. The bars and the clubs and all the other places lonely hearts conglomerate in the hopes of finding another lonely heart to walk hand-in-hand with into the sunset.

All this doesn’t mean that you sit around and wait for cupid to shoot you – it’s the modern age, and you have to take things into your own hands. So here’s a bit of a guide to help you out in your quest for love the manual way – but remember, Facebook-stalking and Googling your potential partner is a must (so long as it’s within reason, of course).

Methods (for the fun and rowdy)

Hosting a White Elephant party is the ultimate in going-out-while-staying-in. All you have to do is invite 10 single friends and ask them to invite five to 10 of their single friends. The fact that you will be in your own element will help you relax, and it will also give you a chance to show off your hosting skills. What’s great about this is that you’ll be dating while in the company of people you know, so you don’t have to worry about being abducted by weirdoes, perverts or psychopaths and if you do, you’ll have a support system to help you wriggle out of the situation.

Keep up to date with any speed dating or Traffic Light parties happening on the island. For anyone who doesn’t know what either of these terms mean, here’s a quick description: speed dating is basically an event at which people have a series of short conversations with potential partners in order to sift out those whom they would like to see again. A Traffic Light party is usually held in a club and each partygoer wears something red (taken), yellow (undecided), or green (single).

For those who are a bit more introverted

Take an adult-education class in something that interests you (cooking, learning a new language, glassblowing). This might help you meet someone of the same or opposite sex who tickles your fancy. It’s not exactly a guarantee, but even if you don’t, you’ll be doing something you enjoy and might even make some new friends.

You can also ask your friends (single or otherwise) to set you up with someone they think might suit you. Your friends have probably seen you at your best, while riding high on the wave of success; and at your worst, while you were in bed hugging a chocolate bar with your face contorted in an I’m-going-to-die-alone look. So they know exactly what you need from a relationship – and who knows… Just go for it!

Onto your actual social life – make the time to go to art exhibitions, the theatre, weddings, reunions, christenings and bar mitzvahs. Getting out of the house and being sociable is the easiest way to find someone you click with, and these events are usually tamer than your average bar.

Help for the love-seeker

If you really want to find love, then you’re going to have to change certain things about yourself. This might be the way you approach people, the way you interact with them, the way you handle situations, or simply where you go. It’s a difficult bit of soul searching but remember: if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

Whenever you’re out on the prowl it is vital to look your best – but make sure you’re comfortable with what you’re wearing. A good idea is to get a friend to go shopping with you and help you pick items that accentuate your figure, or that bring out your best assets like your eyes or your muscly thighs.

If you’re going out, then at least pretend to be happy to be where you are. Being snappy or sitting in a corner moping is hardly becoming, and you’ll only be pushing away potential partners. Yes, people should like you for who you are, but it’s hard to connect with someone who’s unapproachable. If on a particular evening you don’t feel like going out, then put on your pyjamas and spend the night on the sofa – it’s more than perfectly acceptable.

When you meet someone you like, appear and try to be interested in what they have to say and ask lots of questions. Be sure to also share your views on things and past experiences (although any mention of past partners and lovers should be kept for the third date). Remember that the only way to make sure you like someone is by getting to know them and their opinions.

Rejection, much like failure, is what holds most people back. If you’re a regular human being over the age of 22, then chances are you’ve been through one or two ordeals that have taught you that life will not give you anything on a silver platter, and that the best things don’t come easily. Put yourself out there and see what happens – but never, ever let someone take advantage of you. If your gut feeling says ‘no’ or ‘stop’ or ‘idiot’, then you should follow it and move on.

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