I was going to write about the abolition (or is it?) of the secrecy surrounding the pimping of our citizenship, but I'll leave that for another time, just in case the Deputy PM thinks up something else. And, just as an aside on the secrecy thing, what good is knowing that Mr Jung Sing Lo and his granny, wife and little kiddies bought a passport, unless we have access to the relevant info?

Our country is way too crowded and short of kicking a whole bunch of you out, there's nothing we can do about that. We're also way too much in love with cars, as you can see if you try to drive in to work of a morning. Sociologists amongst you can have great fun analysing why this is so, whether the semi-Freudian concepts of substitution apply, whether a car is the only place hormonal post-pubescents can get their privacy, whether the shiny multi-equine powered chariot is a symbol of virility or independence or whatever.

The bottom-line is that there are too many cars on the road. As a biker, I will add that too many of them are driven by total idiots whose myopia is equalled only by their egoism: any day I get to work without at least three utter morons trying to side-swipe me or add me to their bonnets as an accessory is a good one.

So something needs to be done.

In this context, speaking during the General Estimates for next year, Mr Mizzi, the Honourable Minister, said the Government was exploring underground, monorail and sea transport and would give incentives to car owners to switch their engines to auto-gas, which would cause less pollution.

With this intervention, Joe Mizzi demonstrated that he is a true adherent to the principles of governance so neatly encapsulated in the "Yes, Minister" and "Yes, Prime Minister" series, as was the late lamented Margaret Thatcher, though for entirely different reasons. Mizzi sees that something needs to be done, this (the content of his intervention) is "something", therefore I (Mizzi) have done something, now stand up and applaud.

Sorry, Honourable Sir, but all you deserve for that inane comment is a respectful raspberry and I'm sorry the Honourable Members of the Republic's Loyal Opposition didn't give you a collegial one.

You clearly have no idea, do you, what level of disruption creating a monorail or underground system would entail? Take a trip to Edinburgh, and ask any denizen thereof (assuming you can penetrate his accent) what he thinks of the tramway that took aeons to construct, cost millions and isn't even working yet.

Ask someone, preferably not some know-it-all contractor, what it would cost to dig a series of tunnels (deep-cut, cut-and-cover, which? no idea, have you?) and then ask someone else, with some knowledge of numbers, how the expenditure would be amortised. And then apply all of the above, and plenty more, to the fact that a) there are only 400,000 of us b) not all of us would use the system and c) not all of us want to go only to the places where the mono- or underground- rail would go.

And insofar as concerns the sea-transport notion, yes, fine, that's Sliema, Valletta and the Three Cities covered, but last time I looked, Msida (Little Venice) Lagoon excepted, there're not many other areas that would be interested in constructing jetties.

Mr Mizzi's explorative solutions are as useful as a chocolate crash helmet, frankly, on the same lines as his colleague Scicluna's baffling comment in the Budget speech that parking problems are going to be solved by, amongst other things, abolishing the Valletta CVA Scheme. And, dear Joe, encouraging car-owners to change their engines to more green-friendly engines isn't going to solve transit issues, for all that it's not a bad idea.