Gay adoption will create an undesirable family structure for developing children’s gender identity, according to three mothers who are concerned about the Bill granting marriage rights to same-sex couples.
The Civil Unions Bill presented in October will allow gay partners to adopt children together but these women feel the discussion is being rushed and children’s rights are being ignored.
“We are not against the Bill and believe it’s high time gay rights are recognised. However, we are concerned how this Bill is going to affect children,” mother of two Suzanne Vella told The Sunday Times of Malta.
Ms Vella noted homosexual couples can, “beyond doubt”, love as much as heterosexuals and can offer the same care, affection, education and discipline.
Children seek balance in their life, and through gay adoption we are going to, by choice, give them imbalance
“Our concern is gender identity. During their development within a gay family, children will have a missing mother or father,” she said.
“We are aware there are already single-parent households and children at institutions, but these are undesirable situations. Through gay adoption we are going to create a family structure that is undesirable.
“As they grow, children do not need just love, but also a relationship with a man and a woman. The way I breastfed my children was different from the way they were picked up and spoken to by their father.
“The child needs both the feminine and masculine experience to develop and affirm its unique identity,” Ms Vella added.
Gender identity was different from sexual orientation, the mothers said.
“The fact that a heterosexual couple has homosexual children is not an issue.
“Sexual orientation might not depend on parents’ sexual orientation, but gender identity does, as children build on the experiences of masculinity and femininity they go through at home.
“Both homosexual and heterosexual children need both genders to relate to,” said another mother, who cannot be identified as she was not given clearance from her employer.
“A lot of children with a missing parent look out for the missing gender someplace else.
“Children seek balance in their life, and through gay adoption we are going to, by choice, give them this imbalance,” she said.
Ms Vella accepted that everyone, including relatives and coaches, influenced children’s upbringing, but said parents remained the main contributors.
Asked whether children would be better off within a family household or at orphanages, the mothers said gay adoption should not be the solution to eliminating children’s institutes.
Orphanages were the last resort, and it was better for vulnerable children to be adopted, but they should not be given the lesser evil, the mothers said.
Ms Vella also expressed concern that the issue of gay adoption was being discussed as an adult’s civil right.
“Why isn’t it being discussed as a children’s right? It would be better if adoption is discussed as part of the adoption law instead of the Civil Unions Bill,” she said.
Mother of one Elaine Mizzi is also concerned that the discussion is being rushed.
“When I heard about adoption rights as part of the Bill, I was taken aback because I was not aware of it until recently when the issue was discussed by the media.
“I don’t feel it has been discussed enough and if we identify the difficulties now, we could draw up precautions and solutions.
“We are still waiting for professionals to answer questions on how to deal with gay adoptions. What do I tell my children when they start asking questions?
“What do I tell children who were adopted by gay couples when they start asking questions?” she asked.
Ms Vella said the three mothers were also concerned the adoption debate would move on to surrogacy.
“Gay people need a surrogate mother, while lesbians need sperm donation. This leads to cutting children off from their roots and family history from the very beginning,” she said.