Social benefits should not be such that they encourage fathers to shirk their responsibilities while still exercising control over the mothers, the Social Affairs Committee was told yesterday.
The committee, which was discussing domestic violence, also heard calls for perpetrators of domestic violence should be made to pay for the time spent in court by their victims, and for the police and employers to be trained on how to handle domestic violence
A young unmarried mother of two small children said it was not fair on the children to be labelled as having “father unknown”.
Many women knew who the fathers of their children were. Men should not shirk their responsibilities by hiding behind the social services given to the mothers.
In her case, she said, the father was still exercising control over her. Mandatory DNA tests should be held to identify the father and make sure he shouldered his responsibilities for the upkeep of the children. As it was, she could not even make him sign a paper.
The young mother said that she once thought she had found a caring police sergeant who made the right sounds of sympathy, only to find out he had left the window wide open and the children’s father had heard every word she said when reporting him.
The police could not take action against the man because she had never been beaten, just abused, whic was not seen as amounting to domestic violence. She felt his continued verbal abuse constituted even worse violence.
MP Claudette Buttigieg (PN) said abused women needed better tools to help them counter their abusers’ game for control.
Deborah Schembri (PL), said victims’ reports should be noted on official forms so that they could not be changed.
Asked by Anthony Agius Decelis (PL) if she felt that sexual education in secondary schools should start earlier, the young mother said age was irrelevant today because teenagers started being sexually active long before they reached legal age. Starting sexual education from Form 1 would help to make girls more alert to the dangers.
Another victim said many women still did not report domestic violence because they felt it was useless, did not trust the police or abhorred the idea of most times having to recount their experiences to unknown men.
Ms Pamela Cuschieri, Head of Dar Merħba Bik, who said the experts in domestic violence were the victims themselves. The home worked closely with the Domestic Violence Unit of Government agency Sapport. The shorter each victim’s stay at the home, the better for their own good.
She later said all police officers were supposed to have been trained in handling domestic violence, but it depended on whom a victim met at the station. It did not help that officers were mostly men, especially at night.
There was also the issue of volunteer helpers’ fear of victimisation through their private property.
Marthese Portelli (PN) said she admired the women’s will to speak before the committee. They had gone beyond fear. Unfortunately the problems at police stations seemed to be a matter of personnel, with police officers showing different attitudes.
Dr Schembri said some judges did not seem to understand domestic violence victims’ plight very well. She suggested that judges in the Family Court should be accompanied by psychologists.