So the festive season looms on the horizon and you’re dying to throw a killer party. You know the kind, where the police are called in, the neighbours will hate you forever and you find guests sleeping it off on the floor sometime around noon the following day.

Sounds like a blast, doesn’t it? There’s only one fly in the ointment, or one flat bottle of bubbly in the casket, if you will. All this costs money. A ridiculous amount of money, in fact. There’s the booze, the nibbles, the spritzing and sprucing up of chez vous... and you’ve barely started to scratch the surface.

Today’s climate is hardly the best one for lavish excess and many of us are already counting the pennies and wondering how to cope throughout the most expensive time of the year.

The good news is that it can be done without losing out on all the fun. It’s just a question of re-adjusting your sights, but with the right amount of planning and a strong will, there is no reason why you should end up in the red comeJanuary.

Set a budget

Let’s start with the obvious. If you don’t want to exceed your budget, then you will need to set an actual budget. Most of us are guilty of skipping this essential step: we figure, oh well, this year we will just need to ensure that we don’t spend too much money. Unless you quantify what constitutes too much money, chances are you’re going to end up doing precisely that.

Reaching a budget should be simple; don’t be too miserly. If you set yourself an unrealistically low target then you obviously won’t keep to it. If you really have no clue of how to set about doing this – and we’re very well aware that pulling a figure out of thin air might not be that easy – we have devised the perfect process for you.

Sit down and make a list of every single expense that you can think of. Think food and drink, think entertainment, think clothes, think house decorations... Break down each item to the basics and establish the maximum amount you’d like to spend on each. Add some extra euros in case someone crops up out of the blue, and there you have it.

Devising a budget has two advantages; the first is that if you stick to it (and we know you will), you won’t have to face that miserable feeling of debt after the hangover’s gone. The second advantage is that you’ll enjoy guilt-free spending; after all, there’s no bigger downer than giving yourself an ulcer worrying about money every time you buy something related to your party. This way, you can just enjoy guilt-free shopping.

When you’ve reached your first total, chances are you will find yourself facing an astronomical figure. Our natural instinct is always to err on the generous side; expect to have to revise your individual entries a second time and to follow some creative accounting before you reach an acceptable budget. Once you’re happy with the final figure, this is set in stone.

Curb your generosity

OK, this sounds particularly bad especially with Christmas being the season of giving and all that.

But let’s be honest here, since you’re reading this, you’re probably very well aware that you can’t afford to be too generous.

Thing is, it’s very easy to fall into the “it’s only a couple of euro more” trap. So you planned on spending €30 on that French Prosecco. Trust me, don’t go there. That is precisely how companies go bankrupt (not really, but I need to convince you of my wisdom here). If you add a couple of extra euros to every item you buy, you’re going to end up way over your budget. Your mum will agree with us.

The corollary to this is to beware of special offers. In a separate section of this feature you’re going to find advice about how good they are and you should totally go for them. And we stand by that advice. But be wise. If you’re after purchasing wine and you find an end-of-bin sale for a less known brand – go for it.

If you’re after purchasing wine and you end up getting vodka too (when you have no need for it), simply because if you buy them together, you get a discount... well, what can we say? You have been fooled into spending more money on something you didn’t really need.

Not feeling so clever now, are we? And if you think I’m being a touch pretentious and holier than thou, let it be known that even I have fallen prey to this… more times than I care to remember.

I’m aware that my next spot of advice verges on the obsessive, but honestly, it’s all for your own good: keep a journal of your party-related expenses. If you’re going to try to do your math in your head, forget tallying the amounts later. Yes, I realise it’s a pain and the last thing you’ll feel like doing after a massive shopping spree is to remind yourself of what you spent, but honestly, you’ll feel so much better for it when you realise that you’re on track (and I have full faith that you will be).

If you don’t want to exceed your budget, then you will need to set an actual budget

Shop wisely

I don’t suppose I need to specify that visiting higher-end malls and purveyors of expensive brands and labels is hardly going to help you stay within budget, right? Keep an eye out for clearance sales, supermarket offers and so forth.

If you’re seriously, seriously strapped for cash and aren’t reading this just for fun, you should also consider being upfront about the issue. You can let people know that you’d love them to contribute with drinks or nibbles. People are usually pretty fine with this. Don’t feel you need to offer any reason – chances are everyone is in the same boat you are.

Priorities

There are only four things to remember when throwing a party on the cheap: food, drink, decor, entertainment. So let’s start with food: using outside catering will push up the tab.

This doesn’t mean you actually have to slave away cooking and preparing little morsels. Heavens forbid! No, see the way we do it is something like this: first of all visit the deli counter of a good supermarket. And by good, we mean the kind that is known for special offers. Cold meats, cheese and dips make fantastic party food and cost cheaper when bought in bulk from the deli than when ordered as platters from a caterer.

Next, book a couple of boxfuls of pizza from one of the small pastizzerias that litter the island; you can cut them up in party sizes yourself on the day. For about €10 you will feed an army; this is one of the few cases when buying ready-made is cheaper than buying frozen from the supermarket. For some reason, buying party-sized items is always more expensive than the regular sized stuff.

Few food items are as satisfying as a hunk of fresh bread: book fresh rolls for the day at your baker’s and prepare an array of different sandwiches and open topped bruschette. They’re cheap and fast and will keep the masses happy. Add tons of nuts and you’re sorted.

Which brings us to drink. You’re not a bar owner so there’s no reason why your guests should expect a full bar menu. Stock on the basics: wine, beer, vodka, whiskey, rum – and get them all from one of these big bottle shops. Choose the discounted brands as opposed to the premium ones.

Add a variety of mixers: coke, lemonade, tonic water, orange juice, soda water. Tons of ice (cheapest thing to buy)... and you’re rolling.

Print a small bar menu, or place the bottles out on full view for your guests to see. That way, they will know what’s available and what’s not and you will be spared all the requests for that particularly exotic liqueur that costs like €10 a tot.

Next thing to sort out is the decor: get creative with the lighting. Buy lots of different sized candles – candlelight creates its own atmosphere. Be particularly careful where you place the candles; be aware that a boozed-up guest might present danger. This is a no-no if there are kids milling around; in this case, switch to equally cheap balloons.

Finally, don’t forget the music. If people are dancing, they’re not eating and drinking. Hook up your MP3 player to the sound system; if you don’t have one, borrow it.

If you follow all this advice, you should be set for a roarin’ good time. One word of warning: do keep it casual and make it a point to mention to your guests that this is a simple get-together.

If you start throwing about words like evening dress, for example, people tend to expect equally fancy fayre. And you can’t blame them, can you?

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