If you have ever got into a tizzy over how many guests to invite or what to do with that dancing Christmas angel your guest gave you, you’ll know that being a host or hostess can be tough work. But fear not, Tilly Mannersworth has all the answers.

Hello dears, it’s that time of the year again. Come November, I always get a hankering to pack my bags and emigrate to somewhere far away, like France, or the moon. Having only just recovered from clearing out some 100 cobwebs from my house (Mr Mannersworth wanted to have an authentic Halloween, bless his silly little pants), I look with trepidation at December. The Christmas party season is just around the corner and it can be a daunting time, even for the most seasoned of socialites, like me.

You’ve seen the magazines with the stylish ideas for decorating the table for Christmas lunch, you’ve bought the purple poinsettia centrepiece with silver leaves, matching ribbon and bows. Even your Christmas tree decorations are new this year: silver baubles with purple polka dots and those posh-looking wooden angels with gold cords for hands and cute little faces, because that’s all the rage right now, or is it red lace and fat Father Christmasses?

If you’re feeling like you want to lock yourself in the broom cupboard and knock yourself out silly on the eggnog, worry not. I know, I’ve been there, done that, and staggered out the next day to trip and break my nose on the pile of life-size porcelain baby Jesuses bought for one particularly extravagant yuletide gathering.

Hosting a dinner or cocktail party can be stressful, and that’s just the preparation. What about balancing being the perfect hostess once your guests arrive with making sure they are wined and fed while still managing to chat with everyone, remember what you were talking about, and not trip on the hand-painted pottery crib you brought with you all the way from last summer’s Tuscany trip?

Do not fret, here are some clear and simple tips on how to balance the party season perfectly, not want to run away screaming and still have some energy left to play ‘musical chairs’ with Mr Mannersworth when everyone has gone home.

How many guests should I invite?

This depends on what kind of event you are hosting. If it’s a bigger party, like drinks or a special themed cocktail party, as a rule 10 per cent of those you invited will not turn up, so I always like to over-invite just a tad. Someone will always get sick or have to stay home with the children because the baby sitter cancelled or claim their car would not start when they were really locked in the broom cupboard with a bottle of Prosecco.

The Christmas party season can be a daunting time, even for the most seasoned of socialites.

For some reason... most people do not RSVP any more

With dinner parties, you need to be more careful and try not to over invite. For some reason beyond mine and Mr Mannersworth’s comprehension, most people do not RSVP any more. It’s shameful if you ask me, but there you have it. If you don’t get an RSVP, then apart from the fact that you might just have rude friends and may need to get some new ones, give your friends a call or send them an e-mail to see if they will be coming or not.

What food do I serve?

If you’re serving finger food, try to have a variety of canapés which cater to different guests’ tastes and dietary needs. I always like to have a selection of food for vegetarians and those who are lactose intolerant. A staple winner is my cheese and cocktail onion on a stick. Simple, but a classic, and it’s gluten free.

For dinner parties, you will need to ask your guests in advance if they have any dietary requirements. I always prefer to have extra food, rather than run out of Brussels sprouts or have to quickly rustle up a salad because the five-spice pork roast with apple compote ran out after Elliott Bagsbottom decided he had to load half the dish onto his plate.

If you see you’re going to have a large amount of guests who you don’t think you can handle, you might want to think about hiring a waiter or waitress for the night.

Entertainment

I cannot, and dare not, list all the ways you can entertain your guests. But music is a must, most definitely for cocktail parties and even at dinner parties where you can play more mellow tunes.

Gifts from guests

If your guests bring over a thank-you gift, it is always a good idea to show your appreciation by making use of the gift, if you can. For example, if they bring you a box of chocolates, then serve them with coffee after dinner; if it’s a bottle of wine try to serve this too, though this can be particularly tricky if you have bought special wines to go with your food. Alternatively, show them how pleased you are and say you’ll definitely serve this at the next family Sunday lunch. Do not, however true this may be, reveal your plans to gulp it down in solitude as you sit in the broom cupboard, gouging on the left-over chocolates and singing your interpretation of Lady Gaga’s Poker Face.

So go on, get out of the broom cupboard and go have some fun. Alternatively, I hear Phuket is a blast this time of year.

Tilly Mannersworth is a figment of Veronica Stivala’s imagination. But she knows how to throw one mean party.