Does sharing a hobby help a relationship? As long as it’s not boxing, says one couple. Though turning a hobby into a full-time career does take its toll on a relationship, says the second. Two couples tell Veronica Stivala about the hobbies they share.

A likely duet

There’s a special bond that two people feel when they share something they both enjoy. Joe Farrugia often says to his wife, Brenda: “I heard your voice in rehearsal. You sounded lovely.”

“It’s flattering,” she muses, “and makes me feel good about myself. It encourages me to reciprocate in some way.”

Getting chauffeured to choir rehearsal is another plus for Brenda as she hates driving.

Brenda and Joe have been singing with the St Paul Choral Society for 15 years. Prior to that they sang in the choir at Holy Trinity Church in Sliema and would also join the choir of St Paul’s Anglican Cathedral during Christmas.

Of course we do have our individual hobbies – that’s important as well

Both Brenda and Joe have a musical background – she used to sing in the school choir and he sang in a boys’ church choir in his early teens and also studied piano. However, Brenda was initially apprehensive about joining the St Paul Choral Society.

“I wasn’t going to be small fry any more,” confides Brenda. “We would be singing major stuff, some of it lengthy and quite complicated.”

But Joe encouraged her and said he would help her if needs be.

“At least you should give it a try,” he had encouraged her.

The couple, who have been married for 42 years, haven’t looked back since and find sharing a hobby helpful to their relationship.

“Sharing a hobby definitely helps any relationship. As long as it’s not boxing,” quips Joe.

Do they take their hobby home with them?

Singing together at home is limited, as Joe is a busy man, but if Brenda needs help, he sits at the keyboard and goes over any part that is bothering his wife.

What if they don’t like the music they have to sing?

“We both have our likes and dislikes regarding the music we sing,” they admit. “Our repertoire is vast so it is inevitable that there will be pieces we don’t like, but we do try to sing each piece as if it is our favourite.”

Two years ago the couple took their hobby to the next level when they travelled to London and performed at the magnificent St Paul’s Cathedral.

Brenda’s English family were all there.

“Who would have thought that little old me would one day be singing at St Paul’s Cathedral. Joe and I were both awestruck,” she says.

This month, Brenda and Joe are off to Vienna to sing with the choir. It’s their first time in Vienna and they are both very excited.

Do they need to spend some time apart since they have the same hobby?

“Of course we do have our individual hobbies – that’s important as well,” explains Joe, who loves gardening and finds it relaxing.

“The garden always looks nice and I know it’s hard work to maintain,” says Brenda.

Brenda is a keep-fit fanatic andkeen runner.

“If I’m not at the gym, I am pounding the pavements, with my iPod, which incidentally doesn’t have choral music on it.”

Two-step

Balazs and Karin Heller are both qualified fitness professionals. They first met at salsa lessons and since then have turned their passion for dance and exercise into a full-time career. A year ago they set up a health and fitness centre in San Ġwann.

The two were originally going to form part of a dance theatre group in Hungary but the idea never went through as Balazs won a scholarship to France.

The two found themselves separated after having known each other for only a month but before he left, Balazs gave Karin a book entitled Marriage, Fortress of Wellbeing.

Karin was surprised.

“Balazs was looking for a serious long-term relationship as he had recently converted to Baha’i, a faith in which marriage forms a basic pillar. I read the book and agreed – our relationship had started off in a spiritual way.”

The two had deep discussions and got to know each other well despite the long-distance relationship. When Balazs returned one year later he proposed.

We worked while the baby was sleeping in order to set up the business

“I was over the moon,” reminisces Karin.

Less than a year later, they tied the knot at their dream wedding held at an elegant marble hall within the Budapest Castle District, surrounded by greenery and roses.

After their university graduation, the Hungarian couple started working in Ireland doing office jobs like sales and marketing, which they didn’t quite like. Balazs got certified as a life coach and personal trainer which gave them an even bigger push to establish their dream fitness and spirituality centre. They started teaching salsa as a source of extra income.

Balazs also started practising Bikram Hot Yoga. Two months later the Irish studios asked him to participate in the European Yoga Championship in 2009. He placed first and started teaching.

After Karin had her first baby, she decided she never wanted to gain so much weight again.

“I discovered Zumba and fell in love with it, as it was close to my own ideas of fitness,” she says.

With a varied repertoire they went in search of a warm, English-speaking European country – Malta fitted the bill.

The two admit that their first year in Malta was all about business.

“It was very hard and exhausting,” says Balazs.

“We worked while the baby was sleeping in order to set up the business.”

This took its toll on the relationship and the couple realised change was needed.

“We had to learn to separate our personal life from business, which was a big challenge,” explains Karin.

But they managed, through discussion and yoga, which helps them calm down and see things out of the box. They also say that taking part in Baha’i gatherings, prayers and organising musical firesides makes a marriage stronger.

Do they find they need to spend some time apart from each other since they spend a lot of time working together?

“It’s definitely healthy to spend some days apart once in a while but we don’t feel the need for it. Since we have two small children we can’t really set off on separate adventures. And anyway, when we travelled separately we missed each other badly.”