Simonne Pace catches up with three working mothers who, notwithstanding their natural ability to multitask, are dreading their children’s whirlwind school runs and dizzying extracurricular activities this winter. So far they have somehow coped... Here’s how.
Now that school is about to start, parents are already scratching their heads trying to figure out how they will adapt once again to a hectic winter school routine, toing and froing to school and extracurricular activities.
The thought alone is daunting for many parents, especially after having enjoyed a three-month summer break with fewer worries and hardly any ferrying around.
• Veronica Bonnici d’Ugo and her husband Mark have three children: Gail, 13, Adam, 10, and five-year-old Luke. Veronica is a homemaker who does office work twice a week, while Mark is a manager in a telecommunications company.
Veronica admits it’s not easy to cater for school runs and after-school activities, “especially since all three children attend different schools, which tends to complicate life further”.
Gail’s extracurricular activities include ballet, piano and choir practice every week. School time is a busy affair for Gail, but she is a diligent student who enjoys school, reading, listening to music, swimming and a multitude of crafts.
Adam’s non-scholastic activities include piano, and various sports in the past, which he did not keep up. This year, he would like to take up a martial art, which Veronica is encouraging, “as I believe it will boost his self-confidence”.
Adam, who also attends catechism classes, is a quiet, shy boy who would prefer staying at home rather than attending activities. He enjoys swimming, watching television, playing video games and is great at building with Lego blocks.
Luke will be starting catechism classes this scholastic year. Enjoying many sports, particularly running, he is a “larger than life” character, who makes all the family laugh. From birth, he has always been running around with his mum on her school rounds.
“With children at three distinct ages, it is sometimes hard to find something to do that pleases all three. Gail is at an age where she also wants to be with friends. She also enjoys going to the shops with me, but the boys hate it,” Veronica says.
Veronica says the toughest times of the year are two weeks in February and another two in June when Gail’s school exams are held. “This is because, depending on exam schedule, the time when school finishes varies from day to day, so my daily schedule has to change accordingly.”
This means waiting outside her school in the car – time usually spent reading. “Sometimes, the wait can be even longer as Gail’s exam would have started late.”
Conversely, there are days when Gail should finish an exam by 10.30am, so Veronica decides it is worthwhile going home after dropping Luke off at school, which is closer to Gail’s school.
“At around 10am, I get a call from Gail, telling me she is ready from her exam. So I drop whatever I’m doing, dash to pick her up and bring her home. Naturally, by 12.15pm I’m out again to pick up Luke.”
Traffic, Veronica says, can be a hassle but you get used to it. “I have learnt to take alternate routes to each school when necessary. You kind of learn where and at what time to find traffic but, sometimes, you can be surprised.
“Obviously, it makes sense to plan ahead for traffic. I also try to keep any after-school activities relatively close to home which, living centrally, is not so much of a problem.”
As much as possible, for each school, Veronica tries to judge what time would make sense for her to be there, in keeping with the school’s pick-up rules. “But I find that arriving for a pick-up five minutes later than most parents works better, as the area outside the school is free of congestion and that facilitates matters.
“Also, as children grow older, you tend to worry less about arriving a few minutes late, and you feel they can be trusted more (mobile phones are a great help here). Therefore, I pick up the youngest first if I have two collection times that coincide.”
So why don’t the kids get school transport? “Perhaps I feel a sense of caring too strongly. I’ve heard so many horror stories of children using school transport. Something that really annoys me about it is the early pick-up time. My children have an extra half an hour at home in the morning than if they had to get the school van.”
The fact that Veronica and her family live centrally and pool in with other parents “encourages us to keep ferrying our children to school and back. Furthermore, the driving time in the car is utilised wisely – it’s amazing how much children open up at that time”.
• Joanna and Maurizio Micallef, who got married in 2007, have three children: Gian Filippo, five, Pier Luigi, three, and one-year-old Maria. A former e-mail marketing executive, Joanna decided to give up her job to dedicate herself entirely to her family. Maurizio is a procurement manager.
“It was a very difficult choice for me, but in retrospect, I think it was the best decision I could have taken at the time,” says Joanna, who now runs a babysitting business of her own.
When Joanna found out she was four months into her third pregnancy in 2012, her first son was attending kindergarten, so “my mornings were a mad rush of getting him to school, keeping my second son Gigi entertained, setting up the business, running errands and doing house chores.
“Thankfully, my husband is very supportive and together we sat down to get organised in our new life with three children under the age of four.”
Last September, Joanna embraced the new role that falls under each mum’s job description – “the taxi driver”.
Her day started at 6am to ensure everything was ready and packed to get out of the house by 8.30am.
“The struggle with having three young kids is actually getting them into the car,” Joanna says.
After multiple trips to the car to ensure school bags, bottle bags and Joanna’s work stuff are all packed up, and with all three children buckled up and ready to go, “rest assured a whiff would alert me to a nappy change, so we’d all be back in the house, only to get back inthe car five minutes later in a mad deja vu.
“Traffic pretty much dictated who I’d drop off first, since both boys have the same school hours but attended different schools.”
By 9am, Gian Filippo has to be at St Michael’s School in San Gwann, while Pier Luigi at Fleurette School down Sliema Road.
“On the way I like to come up with games, such as each one of us chooses a colour and the one to spot most cars in that chosen colour is the winner. These little games not only get the kids to start off the day in a positive way but also put me off getting all anxious and worked up when stuck in traffic.
“When children are younger, there is obviously less ferrying around because there are fewer commitments. However, I find it is tougher. For starters, school hours are shorter, so if you deduct the time you’re stuck in traffic and driving around, you’re left with roughly two hours. In addition, with a newborn in tow, I always tried to devise different strategies to avoid upsetting her routine.”
Joanna is fully aware of her new commitments as her children are growing up. This year, Gian Filippo will be moving up to Junior 1 at St Michael’s in Pembroke and will have to be at school at 8am. His brother Pier Luigi is going up to Kindergarten 1 at Fleurette, so he’ll be keeping the same 9am to noon routine.
“This will give me ample time for commuting from one school to the other, even if it means dragging Maria along for a longer time onthe road.”
Gian Filippo will also be starting Spanish lessons after school, so pick-up times on Mondays and Fridays will be extended to 2.45pm.
“Since I have lost all hope of driving in traffic-free roads in Malta, I will continue to take out the stress of ferrying my children around by turning this into an opportunity to have fun with my three darlings.”
• Therese Galea Testa and Ivan have four children: Matthew, 12, Luke, 11, Karla, nine, and Julia, four.
Therese is a gynaecologist working in the private sector. She says working privately was necessary, as working at Mater Dei Hospital did not give her the flexibility she needed to take care of her family.
Her husband is a consultant gynaecologist at Gozo General Hospital. “This means he leaves home very early before the children wake up and is not around to help with the morning routine or school runs,” Therese points out.
Her eldest son Matthew is a quiet type who mostly enjoys relaxing at home after finishing his homework. He loves sailing and spends his Saturday mornings at Birżebbuġa Sailing Club.
“He is no hassle at all during the week as he can also be trusted to go to catechism lessons on his own,” his mother says.
However, taking both boys to Melita is a nightmare for Therese. “Not only is it far away but training starts at 6pm, which means facing 5pm rush-hour traffic. I usually leave the house at 5.15pm to make sure I get them there on time. Furthermore, my daughter Karla has catechism lessons on the same day, finishing at 6pm, so I drive home quickly to try to pick her up on time.”
Therese works every morning and three afternoons a week. “This means I have to juggle and try to squeeze in shopping for food and other stuff, cooking and general house maintenance somewhere in between,” she says.
“By the time I leave the house at 7.30am, I usually like to hang some clothes, tidy the beds and cook, as I sometimes don’t have time to return home before the children. I, naturally, have some help with housework but not on a daily basis. I also cram housework in the early afternoon hours after lunch, before I go back out to work at 3.30pm.
Therese’s morning routine is hectic, waking up at 6am to wash and get dressed. She then wakes up the children at 6.30am, makes sure they’re dressed by 7am to go down for breakfast while she prepares their lunches.
She leaves home with the boys at 7.20am, while the school van picks up Karla at the same time. She takes the boys to St Aloysius College in Birkirkara and Stella Maris in Balzan, and returns home to tidy up and cook.
She leaves home again at 8.30am to take her youngest daughter Julia to Chiswick House School in Kappara and then heads off straight to work. Therese leaves her clinic at 12.30pm to go and pick up Julia and Luke from school. She gets home, prepares lunch and goes out again to collect Karla from her pick-up point.
“When Ivan is home, he is in charge of lunch, which is at 2.45pm. I quickly tidy up and the children start their homework. Monday is the least stressful day, as I have no work in the afternoon and the main activity of the day is catechism for the boys and piano for Karla.”
After lunch on a Tuesday, Therese works her 4.30-8pm hours at the clinic, after which she has a tennis lesson until 9.30pm, “so Ivan puts the children to bed”.
Wednesday afternoon means no work for Therese, but football for Luke and a catechism lesson for Karla, with the usual dropping-off and picking-up schedules. Luke is driven to tennis and picked up again every Thursday by his dad.
Friday is a long, hard day for Therese: “I don’t get home until about 8.30pm and I’m exhausted. I like to keep errands on a Saturday morning to an absolute minimum to try and take my youngest daughter Julia to the swings.
“She doesn’t have any major commitments yet. However, during school time, she is stuck inside the house while the others do their homework, or runs around with me in the car.
“My husband helps out with cooking on his off days. He likes to cook ‘real’ food as opposed to my hurried attempts, so we eat quite well thanks to his efforts.”