People looked at me slack-jawed when I told them I was flying alone from Hawaii to Manchester with a four-year-old and a spirited 18-month-old on my lap.

Twenty-nine hours and four airports later, I arrived bruised but not beaten. Here are my ingredients for a (comparatively) stress-free flight and the pitfalls you need to avoid.

Book the bulkhead

Pros: On long-haul flights, decent airlines have kitted out the bulkhead with a folding shelf which supports an infant cot or a reclining bouncy chair for toddlers. If your child is a good sleeper, this is an incomparable godsend.

In addition, there’s more room for the ever-spreading clutter of toys, and with no seats in front of you, no danger of an unfortunate fellow traveller having their chair kicked for 10 hours solid.

Cons: My daughter dived into a deep, snoring sleep as we took off, but the instant her pyjama-clad posterior hit the fabric of the bouncy chair, her eyes snapped open and she emitted a series of furious shrieks. After that, the thing just got in the way until the stewardess took it away. In addition, the arms of the seats in the bulkhead don’t rise up, so my four-year-old couldn’t lie down properly. This made it impossible for him to sleep during the 10 interminable transatlantic hours.

Lastly, you are not allowed to have bags in the bulkhead during take-off; they have to be stowed. Consequently, when the toddler fell fast asleep on top of me, I couldn’t get to the precious playmobile people for my son (my neighbour graciously helped out though).

Verdict: Despite the inconveniences, the bulkhead is well worth it for the extra space and kind fellow passengers will usually help you out with the luggage issue. It’s worth checking with airlines whether they offer this service before you book. I paid slightly more to travel with British Airways, but it was worth it.

Take the car seat on board

Pros: If the flight is not full, a good hearted check-in agent will generally block the seat next to you if you are travelling with an infant so that you can put your car seat there. The familiarity of the seat usually makes for a peacefully sleeping child. Also, if you have the seat with you, it can’t get lost in the labyrinthine luggage system; this causes serious issues when you’re being picked up by family.

Cons: Lugging a car seat as well as hand baggage, a pushchair and two children through several airports is an insanity-inducing exercise at the best of times and if you need to run to catch another flight or get held up at security, it’s a liability. In addition, despite the best efforts of check-in staff, you might end up with someone sitting next to you anyway and not be able to use the thing.

I have to release my inner Shakespeare to do justice to the usefulness of an iPad on a 29-hour journey with a four-year-old

Verdict: Debatable... unless check-in staff can virtually guarantee that no one will sit next to you, it’s probably not worth it.

The iPad

Pros: I have to release my inner Shakespeare to do justice to the usefulness of an iPad on a 29-hour journey with a four-year-old. iPad, thou art more useful than a barrel of M&Ms on a long flight. I held out for as long as I could, but once the toddler was asleep and my own eyes were drooping, I handed it over. He played for so long that I began to worry that his brain might implode, but there doesn’t seem to have been any lasting damage. Take my advice; don’t even think about travelling without one.

Cons: Hard to find any presuming your offspring doesn’t succumb to a fit from gazing at the screen for so long. The only slight snag was that child two woke up, spotted the iPad and screeched firstly with delight at the promise of apps and then with rapidly escalating fury when it became apparent that child one wasn’t giving it up without a fight.

I palmed her off with my iPhone but I don’t like to think of the consequences had that not been available. She also ran the phone battery dangerously low which is less than ideal in the case of delays. Pack the charger in your hand luggage.

Book a day room

Pros: We arrived in LA at 6am and were due to fly out at 3pm. This is an unspeakably long time to spend entertaining two tired children in the airport.

The LAX Travelodge offered a dayroom rate of $50 (€38). For this, you get breakfast which also served as lunch, a chance to shower, a quick, energy-burning splash in the pool, airport transfers and at least four hours of blissful, uninterrupted, horizontal sleep for all three of us. Best $50 I ever spent.

Cons: We made it to the hotel by 6.30am but the room wasn’t available until 9am, a real hassle. Try to find somewhere which will guarantee you an early check-in. And make sure the numbskull previous occupant didn’t set an alarm in the room before they checked out.

Book the Fastlane

Pros: Two small children make clearing security to make a tight connection something akin to crossing the Sahara on a bicycle. After the queue, there’s the pushchair folding and child carrying, the shoe and belt removal, the opening of the milk and baby food which then leak everywhere, and all the while, time is ticking away.

Many airports now offer a ‘fast lane’ service, which allows you to skip the snaking queues for a fee. At Manchester, this costs just around €4, although the price varies by airport and Heathrow currently only offers the service for premium class passengers.