That’s the question posed in the last issue of Child magazine, with the best answer winning its author a Vodafone Smart II mobile phone. The winner was Sandro Bonanno of Zejtun, who is to be congratulated for his comprehensive and balanced advice. Some of the other excellent answers are here too. Well done to all the parents who took part and sent in their recommendations.

Sandro Bonanno

“I have two kids, each owning a laptop; a present from family on their Confirmation Day. It is therefore a double problem which both myself and my wife have to face on a daily basis.

What we found very useful, apart from installing a parent safety software on each laptop and PC in the house, is the need to enter a password to log in. This gives us peace of mind that they can only use the laptop/PC when my wife or I authorise them to, by entering the password. This also provides us with an effective reward system which we can use in order to get studies and other things done.

Our home PC is located near the living room and therefore is always under scrutiny. We also agreed that the laptops are to kept in the kitchen or living room. Both my wife and I do not make too much fuss by making it obvious that we are spying on them. We tell them that we are confident in their judgment, however we keep an eye open without letting them feel supervised all the time.

It is important to talk and show kids the positive and negative aspects, but it is useless stopping them from making use of the internet. If they don’t manage to use the internet at home because of parental overprotection, they can still access it from other sources outside home in secret and without the parents’ knowledge.

Every now and then we also check cookies and site history to ensure that the kids are keeping within the acceptable limit. However, this is not an ultimate solution as they are aware of the incognito/ in private browsing system.

It is therefore essential that a healthy relationship is created between children and parents and that they are given assurance that we are there whenever needed. This would minimise much of the problems they can face, like chatting with unknown persons, cyber bullying and access to dangerous sites.

This is our way, how we felt most comfortable dealing with our kids’ online activity. This has evolved along with their age; the older they get, the less supervision. We understand that kids want their privacy too. We gave it to them according to age, but in an intelligent way.”

Elaine Sultana

“I find that the best way to manage my child’s online activity is to be with my children when they are using their computer. Therefore, it is advisable to keep the computer in a family place like the living room.

“However, it is impossible to keep watch over your children at all times even though the computer is in the living room. A blocking program or parental control program was the perfect solution for my problem. This program can block games, chat programs or file-sharing tools. It can also prevent personal details, such as a telephone number, from being typed out, block any emails sent to unfamiliar people or disallow chat messages to strangers.

If the children are crafty enough to delete their online activity history or use Google Chrome’s Incognito mode, the program can track or monitor your child’s internet activity. Logs of websites they have visited, the times they have spent online and in some cases, transcripts of chat conversations can all be viewed in report form.

I would advise parents to make a pact with their children to allow the parent to view their child’s Facebook page every few weeks. In this way, parents will be able to keep track of what their children are posting and their list of friends. Hence, the children will be extra careful not to post things that might get them into trouble or to make friends with strangers.

Moreover, they have to understand that you are doing this not to be a nosey parent but to make them aware that they might post something that they will regret in the future.

Furthermore, I would recommend that parents avoid using their tablet/mobile during family hours such as during dinner time as this is quality time for all the family. Practise what you preach.

Finally, I suggest that you work out a timetable with your child to set a reasonable limit on internet use, thus keeping a balance between homework, outdoor activities and internet usage.”

Paul Chetcuti

“Every modern gadget on the market, like every new thing, facilitates our fast lives but also entails a few worrying stumbling blocks.

I read and greatly appreciated your guidelines for parents in “Your Child’s Digital Privacy”. We must understand that modern technology and online activities are going to play a bigger role in our children’s lives, more so than in ours; they are born into it and grow up surrounded by this integral and vital part of their lives.

So, definitely, we must help our children appreciate this valuable contribution that makes their lives run more smoothly.

In our family, we find that raising such debateable topics around the dinner table when everybody is relaxed, works wonders. The children air their views more openly. But we mustn’t let our inborn fears show. As experienced adults, our eyes are open to the dangers our children can encounter while on online activity. Do not let them feel we’re panicking, as if modern technology is the horrendous ravine of harmful pitfalls.

Gently, together, discuss these dangers that another thwarted human’s nature can brew for them. My husband and I pass on to them articles from magazines or newspapers that recount nasty experiences encountered by others who trust their naive children or teen­agers. We explain about cyber bullying and how not to become its victims. But we also talk about the great help and advantages they will reap if technology is used as intended.

And more than ever, never show shock, bewilderment or disgust at anything they may say. This is the greatest dam that cuts off the fragile current of trust between you and your offspring.”

Pauline Cilia

When my children are using the internet I keep the computer in a family place like the living room. That way, being online becomes a social, family activity. At school, the ICT Lab is in a U-shape in such a way that the teacher can monitor the activities of the children. Also, certain websites are filtered at school in such a way that they cannot access them.

At a later stage, when my own children, now aged five and three, will eventually have their own Facebook account, it is a good idea to adjust their privacy settings. In that way if they share any thoughts, they will be sharing them with their close friends and not with the rest of the world.

Setting the example is also very important. I am careful of what to post on Facebook and I avoid posting photos of my kids. If they see me constantly posting photos of them having a bath with the duckling or doing other personal things then they will obviously get the message that it’s okay to do the same when they grow up.

Kids need to see parents using the computer in the right way and then follow their example.

There should be a time limit: both parents and children, for example, can use the computer for only an hour a day. Also, the internet needs to be used as a responsible tool by parents; to listen to some music, to communicate with family members who live overseas, to read the news, to do some research work.

It should not be used in a negative way by, for example, creating a chat where parents are complaining about teachers or about mother-in laws! Bullying in any form should be avoided.

From doing some research I have I found that some software can be set up to prevent children from running programs you do not want them to, including games, chat programs or file-sharing tools. It can also prevent personal details, such as a telephone number, from being typed out, block any emails sent to unfamiliar people or disallow chat messages to strangers.

Another useful tool is the ability to track or monitor your child’s internet activity.

Logs of websites they’ve visited, the times they’ve spent online and, in some cases, transcripts of chat conversations, can all be viewed in report form.

I believe that parents or teachers should act as an example online, the same way they act as an example offline.

One must stick to some basic rules that one follows in real life, in that way it’ll be easier to teach your child proper online behaviour as well.

Keeping an open communication with your child is the key. But being on the lookout thanks to some tools can make a big difference.”

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