The modern-day dad comes in various forms and is no longer always the traditional married breadwinner and disciplinarian in the family. Chartered psychologist Anna Grech says the father’s role should never be underestimated.

Traditionally, mother is given more importance – why is this?

A dad can be described as any man who is or wants to be actively involved in raising a child. This includes fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, uncles and non-custodial fathers

For over two decades, mothers were considered paramount in child development and fathers were often thought to be peripheral to the job of parenting, simply because children throughout the world spent most of their time with their mothers.

This line of thought placed a huge amount of responsibility on the mother as primary caregiver of the family – she was either the cause of nurturing healthy and well-adjusted kids, or on the other end of the spectrum, the cause of maladjusted children.

In traditional setups, fathers had a clear role as head of the family and the person who provided for their material needs. But with the increased participation of mothers in the labour force and the growing number of one-parent households, fathers are no longer the exclusive providers. These changes have confronted fathers with the need to redefine their role and function within the family and, in particular, their role as parents.

As gender ideologies shifted in the last half of the 20th century, contemporary perspectives on parenthood are now derived from research that concurrently studies fathers and mothers, rather than earlier research that focused almost exclusively on mothers.

Is the dad equally important? Why?

Well, since children are a product of two parents, both should be meaningfully involved wherever possible. The key is not to expect fathers to parent like mothers, but to parent in a way that is complementary to each other. Men hold babies differently, play with toddlers differently and, ultimately, bond and interact with kids differently, but ‘different’ doesn’t mean wrong.

The father’s role should never be underestimated. The modern-day dad comes in various forms and today’s is no longer always the traditional married breadwinner and disciplinarian in the family. He can be single or married; employed or stay-at-home; gay or straight; an adoptive or step-parent. Psychological research across families suggests that a fathers’ affection and increased family involvement help promote children’s social and emotional development.

In what way does the presence of a father figure affect a child’s development?

Most studies have consistently demonstrated that fathers, whether they live with their children or not, matter in the lives of their children. When fathers are present, they provide economic support for their children and assume emotional and caregiving responsibilities.

A dad can be described as any man who is or wants to be actively involved in raising a child. This includes fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, uncles and non-custodial fathers. Dads matter so much in the lives of their children because studies show that fathers who are involved with them help in the building of their self-esteem, their performance in school as well as their social behaviours.

One model proposes a three-part involvement from the father: direct interaction with the child; accessibility – both physically and psychologically; and responsibility in terms of the child’s welfare and care. An involved father figure reads to his child, takes outings with his child, is interested in his child’s education, and takes a role equal to the mother’s in managing his child. When a father is involved with his son or daughter, he sends a clear message: I want to be your father. I am interested in you. I enjoy being with you. You and I have a relationship that is important to me.

In early development, most children grow up among women – first their own mothers and then from kindergarten through primary school, where most teachers are female. This makes a male presence in a child’s life all the more important. A prerequisite for the engagement of the father is the cooperation of the mother, who must give the father enough room to manoeuvre, allowing him to build his relationship with the child differently from hers.

Which years are the most crucial?

Child development experts often use the concept of ‘scaffolding’ to describe the support system needed by children during their developmental and formative years. Just as scaffolding is put up to support the structure of a building as it is being built and gradually taken down as the building is able to stand on its own, a parent needs to provide the necessary support for a child to allow them to safely and productively explore and learn from their environment.

As the child matures and develops, the scaffolding is removed or changed to allow the child to become more independent. If the child is not quite ready, the support is reinstated and then gradually withdrawn once again. For example, in the early years, attachment is very important. A secure attachment is like an invisible elastic, which can stretch and contract depending on the need for protection. So when you are ill or in pain, tired or afraid, you move towards the person with whom you feel secure and when all is well you can move away to explore the world around. Secure attachment can be fostered through parental figures that are close but not suffocating, strong but not overwhelming, supportive but able to discipline, caring but encouraging autonomy.

Children’s perceptions of the world, and their template for interacting with it, are shaped through the behaviour modelled by their parents or primary caregivers. A son will look to both parents to see how they manage situations and relationships, but at certain developmental periods, he may be more likely to be influenced by the father if he identifies more with him because of their shared gender or physical and psychological similarities.

So, if the son feels he is like dad, then he will observe more carefully what dad is like and will begin to identify with the qualities he admires about dad. If, on the other hand, he dislikes dad, then he may look more to other family members for information about how to behave.

A father is equally important to sons and daughters – for a boy, the father is usually his first male role model; for a girl the father figure is a crucial ingredient in the development of her self-esteem. Girls’ relationships with their fathers also influence their opinions of men later on in life.

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