Ed eats
Pavillon Palace
St Andrew’s Road,
St Andrew’s
Tel: 2137 0403
Food: 6/10
Service: 7/10
Ambience: 7/10
Value: 6/10
Overall: 6.5/10
About a decade ago I came across an article that had been written several decades before, which described something called the Chinese Restaurant Syndrome. The article was mainly anecdotal and described a collection of symptoms that some experience after indulging heavily in Chinese food.
More work has to be done on the food if I am ever to consider it superior to its indistinguishable competition
The symptoms, which included numbing of the head and neck and headaches, were attributed to the overuse of the flavour enhancer MSG. Monosodium glutamate is associated with an increase in ‘savouriness’ or umami of a dish. Naturally, there was little to substantiate the claims and the syndrome never really gained traction in medical circles.
If some guy is entitled to his own description of a syndrome, then so am I. Mine is concerned with a collection of symptoms that turn a restaurant into any one of the interchangeable Chinese restaurants. If all the symptoms are met, then it is hard to distinguish that restaurant from all the others that have been afflicted.
To start with, the menu has to start with a mixed platter of starters that always contains sesame prawn toast, spring rolls and wontons. The main courses are split by the main ingredient and share the same sauces. Sweet and sour chicken, pork and prawn, for instance. Beef is lucky to escape the sweet and sour treatment.
Then there’s the matter of numbered items. I’ve see vastly more complex menus that successfully do away with numbering. Chinese restaurants insist on hanging onto this system for some reason. I look forward to one day ordering a 24 when it isn’t available, just to be able to say: “Don’t worry, I’ll have two 10s and a 4 instead.”
Moving on to the food itself, affected restaurants manage a very homogenous taste and appearance pattern. The worst offenders must have a dish full of deep-fried, battered nuggets of minced chicken and, depending on your order, they douse them in a brightly coloured sauce and serve them. So the only difference between sweet and sour pork and lemon chicken is the bright red or bright yellow sauce.
This is what keeps me away from Chinese restaurants. I’ve seen one so I’ve seen them all. I know this is a crude and rather unfair judgement because I have experienced exceptions. It is just that if I’m after deep-fried fastfood I can have it cheaper and quicker elsewhere.
The philistine in me eats fast food and I proudly proclaim that with no shame whatsoever.
The legendary Tom Parker-Bowles once told me that, if it were any time between lunch and dinner and he felt like a McDonald’s cheeseburger, he’d pop in and buy one. I wholeheartedly agree. And I’ve stated all this to show that my general avoidance of Chinese restaurants is not out of gastronomic snobbery.
I’ve driven past the recently refurbished Pavillon Palace in St Andrew’s, and every time I looked inside I liked what I saw. This tempted me to give the place a try.
Aesthetics are a generally undervalued aspect of the dining experience, so if a restaurant has bothered to go to the effort and expense, they should be trying to deliver a more complete evening.
I suppose they spelled this iteration in French to separate it from their Ta’ Xbiex restaurant, even if neither serves French cuisine.
The place looks as good once inside as it appears to be from the outside. The layout is well-designed and includes dinner tables, higher bistrot-style seating and a lounge area.
Lighting is pleasant, oriental music plays quietly in the background and staff is equipped with an embroidered uniform to match the theme. Someone put some thought into all this and it pays off with dividends.
A young lady greeted us and took care of us all evening. While she is not exceptionally experienced, or possibly a little shy, all went well. She brought menus and asked if we wanted the wine menu. I was all for Tsing Tao, the most commonly available Chinese beer and likely to be the most widely exported one. My guest was still processing the wine from lunchtime. So we opted out and ordered beer and water so that other diners will think us virtuous.
The snag there is that there were no other diners that evening. That is not to say the kitchen wasn’t busy. The little yellow delivery cars outside came and went several times during the hour in which we sat in solitude. Added to deliveries were pickups, with several people walking in to collect their conveniently prepared dinner.
The menus start off with a sushi section – unusual for a Chinese restaurant. Turns out Pavillon Palace is a Chinese restaurant and sushi lounge. I like the idea of combining these cuisines. It really sorts out the decision whether to go to a Chinese place or a Sushi place and makes it easy to please a group of people who could be enjoying vastly different culinary styles at the same table.
The menus are also riddled with spelling mistakes. If one has gone through the bother of writing out all those items, not to mentione adding a number to each one, it can’t be too hard to have the menu proofread. This will eliminate hilarity and I doubt it will be missed.
I had gone there to eat Chinese food though and was, as usual, steadfast. Once I’ve decided I want to eat something particular, it will take nothing short of a bull from the streets of Pamplona to steer me from my course.
The steamed dim sum platter won me over for starters and I’d follow that with beef fillet in a bird’s nest and Singapore noodles. Picking a main course was difficult because all the usual suspects are all there and I would have liked to pick something slightly unusual. I also wanted chilli (throughout the menu spelled ‘chilly’) but there is nothing particularly hot on the menu.
In fact, there is a proviso next to every item where ‘chilly’ is mentioned that states that heat is mild. I understand that many fear the word spicy but what of the occasional patron who would like something fiery? Adding a single item to the menu that has reasonable heat will do the trick.
Meanwhile, across the table, the sushi menu was being eyed. It would be sushi for starters and Chinese for main course.
A tiny platter of sushi would satisfy our curiosity, and prawn and scallop brochettes with a sweet ‘chilly’ sauce would take care of any gaps.
We were informed that the dim sum would take about 15 minutes and I appreciate this sort of tip. It prevents frustration all round and comes across as attentive service.
It probably took less than 15 minutes for the dim sum to be served in its bamboo steamer. Eight little parcels, filled with pork, shrimp and beef in various guises turned up. They were fun and tasty as this sort of dim sum tends to be – you know the filling is going to be more like sausage than anything else and yet you enjoy the guilt.
The sushi had promised to consist of an inside out maki (without specifying the contents of the roll) and one nigiri (again unspecified). I’d never take that risk, but then again, I hadn’t ordered it.
The inside-out roll was not in fact inside-out. It was a regular maki, with nori on the outside, and had been filled with a deep-fried chicken and fresh cucumber – disappointing when compared to the selection in the sushi menu. The prawn nigiri was fine.
Our main courses were served soon after, and the presentation is quite interesting if a little contrived. My overly crispy beef was served in a woven basket, usually made of fried noodles or bean threads.
The sauce was intense – a salty, vinegar-laden assault with plenty of sweetness and a hint of chilli. Such was the intensity that I managed half of the beef before my mouth seized.
The vermicelli noodles were great and they soaked up much of the sauce, diluting it until it was more sensible.
The prawn and scallop was actually quite good and, while I’m not too keen on the sweet sauce, is probably a winner with those who appreciate it.
I don’t consider the €55 we paid to be particularly attractive. The place looks decent and the service is functional but we basically ate glorified fast food.
Pavillon Palace just about escapes my Chinese Restaurant Syndrome criteria by offering a great dining space and adding sushi to the mix. Much more work has to be done on the Chinese food itself though if I am ever to consider it superior to its indistinguishable competition.
You can send e-mails about this column to ed.eatson@gmail.com or follow @edeats on Twitter.