When Rose* hears her daughter call another woman “mummy” she feels reassured that the decision to give her up for adoption 13 years ago was the right one.

I definitely wasn’t giving my daughter the best… Depressed I was. But an idiot I wasn’t. I knew I was ill

Back then, Rose, abandoned by her partner soon after giving birth, felt adoption was the only way her daughter could have a better future. But she wanted to remain part of her life.

“I have a daughter, and she’s someone else’s daughter as well. She calls me ‘mummy’ too… You can’t get possessive over the word… I have no regrets. She is being brought up so well,” Rose says, admitting that her positive feeling may be due to the fact that she never lost touch with Alexia*, her daughter.

Anna* and her husband, who adopted Alexia, feel that Rose is part of their extended family and have no problem with her being part of their life.

Both women have acted in Alexia’s best interest and feel that open adoption worked beautifully for them and could work for others.

Over 450 children live in out-of-home care, which means they don’t live with their biological parents, according to the State social agency, Appoġġ.

As things stand today, children need the consent of their biological parents to be put up for adoption save for extreme cases. At times, this is not granted, which means children cannot be adopted even if they live in institutions.

Former Family Minister Chris Said had said he wanted to free up more Maltese children for adoption.

He had been considering promoting open adoption, which would encourage natural parents to allow their children to be adopted and remain in their life while adoptive parents take legal responsibility.

Newly-appointed Family Minister Marie-Louise Coleiro Preca said she would be building on “the good” done before her.

“We set off from the principle that children deserve to be in a family environment. We’ll do what it takes to increase the chances,” she said, adding that she was willing to look into the option of promoting open adoption.

Rose and Anna agree that open adoption works as long as the best interest of the child is at the centre.

Rose feels it is important to share the same values with the adoptive family and to not interfere with their decisions.

She originally planned to keep Alexia when she was pregnant. She left her job, as the plan was to go abroad with Alexia’s father, who was foreign.

But shortly after Alexia was born Rose found out her partner was not the man she thought he was, and they broke up.

Alone and with no steady income, Rose suffered from postnatal depression that did not allow her to get back on her feet.

“Everybody wants the best for their children and, circumstances as they were, I definitely wasn’t giving my daughter the best… Depressed I was. But an idiot I wasn’t. I knew I was ill.

“I had resigned from my job. The person who says ‘all you need is love’ is an idiot. I’m a practical woman. There was no reason why my daughter had to be deprived because of the way things were,” she says.

Rose was told about a priest who might help her meet a good family looking to adopt a child. She wanted to have control over where her daughter was and wanted to remain in the picture to ensure Alexia was safe and happy.

The day she met Anna she immediately knew she would be a good mother to Alexia.

Rose remained involved. She sees her daughter every weekend and attends events such a prize days and talent shows with Anna and her husband. However, she says, the important decisions are left in the hands of the adoptive parents.

Anna and her husband feel that this was “a miracle”. They had not been looking to adopt for a long time when Alexia came into their life.

“We took things one step at a time and kept the best interest of the child at the centre,” she says. The fact that Rose remained in Alexia’s life did not diminish the bond she felt with her daughter.

“On the other hand, I have a bond with Rose who has become part of our extended family,” she says.

* Names and details have been changed.