Mothers set up group to beat bullying in schools
Three mothers have joined forces to speak out against bullying in schools, with one of them demanding the resignation of an assistant head who she claims intimidated her daughter by calling her a “silly little girl”.
Sylvana Brannon, Valerie Brincat and Dianne Vella Gregory felt they should speak up to raise awareness that treating children disrespectfully should not be tolerated.
Ms Brannon set up a closed Facebook anti-bullying group – called Mothers Against Violence in Schools – after her eight-year-old daughter felt bullied by one of the two assistant heads at her school.
Eva started going home after school in a bad mood and would cry for no reason, Ms Brannon said of her daughter. She eventually told her mother she was being bullied by a student. Her mother called a meeting with the government school her daughter attends.
The assistant head, who was present for the meeting, said she would look into the bullying. Later that day, the assistant head complained to Ms Brannon that Eva was not doing her homework. Mr Brannon argued this was a poss-ible symptom of the bullying.
Then, a few days later, Eva was called into the assistant head’s office again for a telling off for not doing her English homework, Ms Brannon said.
She found out about this later at home when she came across a note from her daughter – calling out for help. The note read: “Ma, Ms … told me: ‘you are nothing but a silly little girl!’ Do something please!”
Ms Brannon had been aware about the missing English homework because Eva had hold her she could not remember what it was.
Eva had been taken to the office where she was confronted by the headmaster, two assistant heads and her teacher.
“She described it to me as: ‘I could feel my face on fire, I thought the blood was going to come out. I was so afraid, my heart was beating very fast, I was shaking and I could feel my feet trembling like they show them in the movies and I thought I was going to fall to the floor’,” Ms Brannon said.
It turned out that the assistant head kept shouting and later told Eva: “You are nothing but a silly little girl,” she added.
“This was a demeaning, disres-pectful and disempowering comment … Eva expressed to me how she felt shamed and embarrassed, crying in class, unsuccessfully trying to hide it from her classmates. And that’s when she wrote me the note.”
Ms Brannon immediately called a meeting with the headmaster who is looking into the allegations of bullying – by the student and the assistant head.
She wants the assistant head to apologise to her daughter to transmit the message that the girl did nothing wrong by speaking up. She also thinks the assistant head, who spoke to children disrespectfully, should be removed.
The assistant head has admitted to using those words but insisted that “this happened in a context which the complainant does not mention” and it was not ethically correct to give more details.
Ms Brannon has been recently called in for a meeting with the school principal. While satisfied with the way the class bullying was handled, she was not happy about the other issue.
Ms Brincat, who sat by Ms Brannon in solidarity, said there was need to train school management across the board. Last year her 11-year-old autistic son ended up having to leave the State school he attends for lack of staff training to deal with his condition.
When he threw a tantrum, and accidentally hit people close to him, school staff did not know how to handle him.
Ms Vella Gregory, who wanted to support the other two mothers, felt that, unfortunately, there was still the mentality that respect at school was a one-way street with only children having to show respect towards teachers and school staff.
The Education Ministry’s views
The education authorities have confirmed they received a complaint that “an assistant head bullied a primary school student”, an Education Ministry spokesman said.
The complaint included allegations of bullying among students and alleged bullying by an adult on students. The school and the college it forms part of immediately looked into the matter and called in support services.
The allegation of class bullying is being handled. It must be pointed out that what emerged from the investigations was different from the allegations made, the spokesman noted.
“With reference to the alleg-ation that the assistant head bullied the child, it appears that when she spoke to the child, other persons were present. While the phrase ‘you are behaving like a silly little girl’ was actually used, this happened in a context that the complainant does not mention.
“It is not ethically correct to give more details concerning minors, in their own best interests. The mother has been called in for a meeting and full feedback has been given,” the spokesman said.
He said the ministry and the directorate never received a report from Ms Brincat.
Heads and assistant heads were given extensive training on a variety of issues, including disability issues, he added.
Student services were in place, consisting of counsellors and guidance teachers for children to refer to if they felt they were being treated badly by anyone in any way. Anti-bullying procedures were also applicable to all schools, the spokesman said.
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72 Comments
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Mark Vella
Feb 13th, 18:21
I immagine that a lot of the people writing comments are qualified as child psychologists or are parents themselves. I understand the fact that a child not doing her homework is wrong BUT shouldn't a TRAINED and QUALIFIED educator be able to investigate why the homework was missing(especially if it's a rare occurrence ). I really would love to see what would happen if the roles were reversed...
Neville Debattista
Feb 13th, 14:45
@David Buttigieg. ' It doesn't read like a plea for help, more like a command to deal with a nuisance! ' Could you please explain to me why and how you came about to conclude that the above note should read like a command to instead of a plea?
Emanuel Mangion
Feb 12th, 20:32
Il-Fsied ihassar l'ulied... u nieqaf hemm... bullying is another thing believe me..
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 13th, 13:54
Mela ieqaf hemm ghax ahjar. Kellu bzonn kull min m'ghandux xi haga bis-sens x'jghid jaghmel bhalek.
Reuben Chircop
Feb 12th, 20:06
Ms Brannon, you should go to school tomorrow morning, take your daughter with you and apologise to the administration concerned for the unjustified accusations and before you leave THANK them for giving a damn and pointing out to your daughter that when she doesn't do her homework she is behaving like a silly girl. That will be the biggest lesson you will ever give your daughter.
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 13th, 13:56
I am interested in what YOU, whoever you are, think I should or should not be doing. My daughter has NEVER missed a homework. In fact she is one of the top students in her school. The only homework she missed was when she was being bullied by her classmates and coming home with a headache every day. When I went to school to discuss the issue of bullying it was turned around on the ONE missing HW.
D Mifsud
Feb 12th, 17:43
I have the greatest respect for teachers, but this assistant head went too far. How does telling an 8 year old 'you're nothing but a silly little girl' contribute towards her education?? What does this teacher, to resort to name calling and telling people that they're 'nothing' to prove a point? An educator's job is also to teach respect, regardless of age.
B Gauci
Feb 12th, 18:17
Spot on!!!!
Dorianne Giordano
Feb 12th, 17:11
I can't see the reason why the mother is being attacked here and the main issue is being deviated .... the article is about this poor little 8 year old girl who was first being bullied by her classmate and then by her assistant head! As adults we know that some hurtful comments we receive as kids keep haunting us for the rest of our lives. Being called "silly" in this matter is unacceptable.
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:23
Thank you for your comment Dorianne. Most of the people posting here either have no kids or have no idea what it feels like to see your well-behaved, responsible daughter come home in that state. It is my job to defend her, and I will, no matter how much they attack me personally, because it's my responsbility. All I care about is that my daughter knows I am supporting her through this.
S. Camilleri
Feb 13th, 01:10
If feedback needs to be given to a child it should be done with sensitivity and constructively. in calling someone silly I can only see it as being detrimental to children. Moreover, many people feel more comfortable in expressing themselves in writing than verbally, so there is no point in questioning why the child wrote a letter to her mother.
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 16:08
Why did the girl write a note to her mother when she could have easily told her personally? And why keep the note to herself only to be discovered accidentally by the mother?
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 16:58
She wrote the note in class while sobbing embarrased in front of her classmates. She gave it to me as soon as she came home because she was crying so hard she couldn't even talk. Why are you questioning my daughter?
David Buttigieg
Feb 12th, 17:25
If your daughter breaks down sobbing because somebody told her she is behaving like a silly little girl, with all due respect and as a parent I can tell you, something, somewhere is wrong!
And I am judging solely on what is reported in "The Times" and yourself!
Bullying SHOULD be tackled, but that was not bullying!
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:36
David, my daughter stepped up because she and some classmates were being bullied by 3 others in class, and instead of getting the help she was after, she got attacked by the assistant head and called a silly little girl. Why, as a parent, are you justifying that??
B Gauci
Feb 12th, 18:09
David, with respect, 4 adults in intimidating roles (head, assistant head etc), all surrounding a timid 8 yr old girl, probably with stern looks, and discussing the "serious issue" of missing homework, is unsettling enough for any child. So, in my opinion, calling her "nothing but a silly little girl", is just adding huge insult. Put yourself in the child's shoes, for heaven's sake!!!!!!
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 18:09
'She found out about this later at home when she CAME ACROSS a note from her daughter – calling out for help.' (The Times)
Came across means you found it accidentally. no mention of your daughter giving it to you.
As Mr. Buttigieg said, being called a silly little girl shouldn't produce such a reaction as you describe.More so if the phrase was ‘you are behaving LIKE a silly little girl'
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 18:23
Well maybe that was what was reported by The Times. The police report I lodged, and the letters I sent to the authorities, are different. She gave me the note when she walked through the door. And she was told (as the assistant head admitted, and the note says) "you are nothing but a silly little girl". Anyway I am not particularly interested in your version - only in my daughter's.
David Buttigieg
Feb 12th, 21:22
"David, my daughter stepped up because she and some classmates were being bullied by 3 others in class"
Nobody blames her for this!
Norman E Grech
Feb 12th, 14:22
Ara f'lema assudita wasalna ta!
Kids are too spoilt today! They have absolutely no sense of discipline and no regard and respect for adults!
No wonder the world is becoming one insane place!
What's next? We go punch the teacher? pffff
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:00
Namecalling is not "discipline" in any child-rearing bible in the world. My daughter is not spoiled and everyone who knows her (and you obviously don't) knows how responsible and respectful she is for an 8-year-old. Punching the assistant head, although very tempting, is not a solution. But neighter is allowing her to get away with abusing children under her care.
David Buttigieg
Feb 12th, 17:29
Namecalling is not "discipline"
No, and telling a child she is "behaving like a silly little girl" is not calling her names!
"in any child-rearing bible in the world"
As a parent I see the problem, children cannot be raised with a manual, why not trust your instincts instead?
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:34
Ehm, David, calling her "you are nothing but a silly little girl" is EXACTLY namecalling. May I add that this was the assistant head's crowning-glory comment... she had been bombarding her with names and my daughter was trembling and shaking. When she told her this, my daughter finally cracked and burst out crying, at which point the asst head told her proudly, "NOW you can go back to class".
Valerie Brincat
Feb 13th, 18:02
It seems you are defending them....are you a teacher by any chance? My son who is non verbal went through hell with them and so did I. Only to find out about their actions from the children in the class! They were my son's voice!
G Schembri
Feb 12th, 12:51
Who is bullying who? The daughter seems to be bullied by everyone - other girls, the teachers and the assistant head. Had my daughter not done her homework, I would have sent a note to the teacher explaining the situation and not wait for my daughter to be punished before taking action. The parent first left hings to come to a head then overreacted.
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:03
You are obviously missing the point. My daughter has NEVER missed her homework except when she was coming home with a headache as a result of being bullied in class. When I learned about the bullying I approached the school immediately. My daughter was punished by the school management instead of being protected, when she stood up for herself and asked for help.
G Schembri
Feb 12th, 19:19
@Sylvana Brannon, No you are missing the point. Anytime your daughter does not do her homework you are duty bound to contact the teacher and inform her of the circumstances. Do you expect the teacher to overlook the fact that your daughter went to school without her homework. THAT, Ms Brannon would be condemnable, and not a teacher or assistant head who take interest in your daughter.
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 13th, 13:58
Schembri, whoever you are, read my reply to the other idiot further up about the same subject of the missing HW. My daughter was punished not for the ONE missing HW as a result of how she was feeling because of the bullying, but because she spoke up.
Manuel Briffa
Feb 12th, 12:51
This must really be a good school if an 8 year old can correctly use open and close inverted commas, colon, exclamation marks, etc., in her short text.
R Saliba
Feb 12th, 15:24
I could - The only explaination is that I used to read a lot of books and pay attention in class
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:05
You must have gone to a bad school if at that age you couldn't. Or you didn't ever open a book, unlike my daughter.
David Buttigieg
Feb 12th, 17:33
I disagree Mr Briffa, perfectly normal except most children would spell 'told' correctly too!
What I find disturbing is the note!
It doesn't read like a plea for help, more like a command to deal with a nuisance!
Children are spoiled rotten today and a lot of the bullying is by children to their parents and other adults!
Wait until they face the real world!
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 18:08
David I don't think you have the right to attack my daughter's spelling. Do you know her or me by any chance? By what right do you call her spoiled when you don't even know her? Everybody who knows her knows how responsible she is - which she has to be seeing as she is the eldest of 4 children I am raising alone. Wow she made a spelling mistake while under pressure!
Cesco Bonello
Feb 12th, 11:45
Never mind the pope's resignation or North Korea's nuclear testing.. this is the real worrying news, and i'm not talking about the so called teacher's intimidation (give me a break), but the situation in which our educational system has ended up in where a teacher can't perform her duties without being slapped on the hand by a parent! The child was in the wrong and was dealt with accordingly.
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 13th, 13:59
Believe me Cesco I will ALWAYS be there slapping the hand of ANYBODY who treats any of my 4 children disrespectfully. And I will take action every single time. You don't know the story. My daughter was not in the wrong for standing up for herself because she was being bullied.
David Buttigieg
Feb 12th, 11:36
I have two children in school, and whilst I agree that bullying must be dealt with properly (it will never be stamped out) Telling a child she is behaving like a silly little girl is NOT bullying.
Children today are thought all about their rights but not their responsibilities!
They are going to suffer once they enter the real world and discover that only mummy and daddy pamper them!
i. schembri
Feb 12th, 11:32
I totally agree. Students do have to show respect to their teachers and superiors at all times, however respect is a two-way stream. I'm glad to be seeing this kind of articles where people are opening their eyes, as just a decade or two ago people didn't really fight for these rights and used to blame the students for misbehaviour..... there's a bunch of crazy staff working in our schools....
Travis Brannon
Feb 12th, 10:51
There is something very illusive in this world, something very precious, but something that unfortunately gets swamped by the tidal wave of lies and deceit in this world. That one precious thing is called truth, and it is the domain of God. Those of you smart enough to see through the lies in this article, I congratulate you on your insight into this woman's character.
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:07
Dear ex-husband (ex for a reason) I will not entertain the public (and your other friends posting here) but just want to remind you this is YOUR daughter you are talking about. And she can read your comments. Keep your personal battles with me, with me.
B Gauci
Feb 12th, 18:16
Goodness Travis Brannon! I cannot believe what I am reading! Regardless of your issues with your ex, this is no way to support your daughter. I hope she never gets to read this.
Colin Stanley
Feb 12th, 10:51
I am not saying that bullying on a daily basis is right, but come on children are what they are and we know how most of them act between themselves, especially the girls. The teachers can't even look at the kids to day for fear of getting in trouble, never mind discipline them. when we were young we had discipline at school , the cane,sent out of class, staying after school, etc.
i. schembri
Feb 12th, 11:36
discipline is good and necessary. but discipline doesn't have to involve disrespect. teachers shouldn't be taught just the subjects in school, they should be taught to build trust, taught to teach discipline and to respect one another. the subjects i love most nowadays are the ones who were taught by good teachers, that respected us and yet knew how to draw a line between student and teacher
Chris Cassar-Torregiani
Feb 12th, 10:17
Any kind of bullying in any shape or form is despicable.
However at the same time both the school and the parents need to teach children how to stand up to this and not become prone to running for cover whenever they are on the receiving end of an adverse comment or action.
Bullying needs standing up to, not only by the parents, but also by the child him/herself.
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 10:29
Chris Cassar-Torregiani
Children cannot distinguish between an admission and bullying. Reprimanding a student by telling him/her they are not behaving may be taken as bullying by some sensitive children. Today children have so many rights (which results in power over their mentors) That teachers are finding it hard to admonish their charges. Seeing their parents bashing teachers does not help.
Chris Cassar-Torregiani
Feb 12th, 14:14
@ Victor Pulis :
All the more reason why children need to be taught by BOTH the school AND their parents on how to react when they are on the receiving end of "adverse" treatment, which does not necessarily always equate bullying.
This is a very subjective issue but if the children themselves are involved it would certainly help them in identifying adequate behaviour parameters.
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 18:16
@Chris Cassar-Torregiani
I assure you children are taught about their rights and how! whole books have been written on children's rights to the extent that they quote them to you if you so much as look at them. What they need to learn now are their duties. Teachers have been stripped of all their methods of discipline with the help of parents who should know better.
L Mifsud
Feb 12th, 10:15
The point here is that a child (and who knows how many others) has been treated in a way that could affect her for life, what does it have to do with her mother? Her mother is speaking up against this abuse, therefore she's doing what any good mother should be doing.
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 10:12
Calling someone a silly little girl and telling someone she is 'behaving' like a silly little girl are two different things.
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 13th, 14:02
The assistant head towered over her, pointing her finger in her face, and with a look of disdain told her "You are nothing but a silly little girl". This was the final comment in a whole series of comments, after which my daughter finally cracked and burst out crying. Only then did she tell he "NOW you can go back to class." Mission accomplished, I suppose.
Doreen Camilleri
Feb 12th, 09:51
About time something is being done!!! Good on you! Bullying at school - by whoever should stop!! My son was bullied throughout his school years by other students but nothing was ever done!! No one is above the law and bullying has long lasting negative effects on our children. Discipline does not mean bullying or an authoritarian environment. Care and understanding works much better.
Austin Grech
Feb 12th, 09:14
I think it's time that web cams be introduced in schools, granting access to parents. Our children are our pride and joy. Not some ones punching bag. Same on all those who bully our kids. Wonder how they would feel if they were treated in the same manner.
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 10:16
Austin Grech web cams in classes would be a form of bullying. Are there web cams in government offices? Do you have a webcam watching over you at work? When ALL workers are scrutinized by webcams perhaps then and only then would teachers accept them in their classes.
Louis Pace
Feb 12th, 11:29
I disagree with you there Mr.Pulis and agree with Mr.Austin Grech. Every class nowadays should have a web camera with a password for us parents to see what our children are learning and how they act in class. May I remain you that there are many jobs nowadays that are being scrutinized by webcams and even you are being scrutinized when walking about in the streets.....
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 12:27
Mr. Pace. When hostility towards teachers by parents is eliminated, When teachers are allowed to at least be able to verbally reprimand students, teachers would feel safe to let themselves be exposed to all and sundry on the web. What guarantee has a teacher going out of school not finding some irrate parent waiting for him/her because s/he admonished some child in class?
cont.
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 12:32
cont.
The parents need not have access by means of webcam to know what their children learning. They can talk to them when they get home. The workers being scrutinized at work are being watched by their managers not by outsiders. There area lot of people out there who interpret admonishings as bullying as can be seen from this article.
G Schembri
Feb 12th, 12:58
What about data protection, what right have you to spy on my kids. If a child is not doing well at school it is nobody's business, except the teachers' and his parents'. How would you feel if something happened to your child while other parents are watching? If your children are your pride and joy, let them live their lives freely and not let other parents spy on them constantly.
Maria Muscat
Feb 12th, 14:02
You cannot be brash & jump to webcams, keep in consideration that a class has an average of 18 students, that means that other then yourself you are also allowing 34 'strangers' to watch your child throughout their school day. I dont know about you but this would make me exceedingly uncomfortable, today we hardly know our neighbours let alone all the parents of all the kids in our kids class
R Saliba
Feb 12th, 15:30
Rather then having webcams it would make sense to have recorded CCTV cameras in class rooms. This way, if a teacher reports misbehavour of a child during a lesson it can be followed up and shown to the parents only if necessary. this also works vice-versa.
There's no need for this to be on the web - as some already mentioned there's data protection in the middle
L Mifsud
Feb 12th, 08:20
Poor girl, no wonder she forgot what homework she had to do, first bullied by a student, then scolded like that by someone who was supposed to help her.
Victor Pulis
Feb 12th, 13:28
then scolded like that by someone who was supposed to help her.
So scolding now has become bullying has it?!
Mr./Ms. Ellul what do you suggest teachers use to reprimand their students besides scolding?
ruth klotzer
Feb 12th, 08:15
You have to listen to both sides of the story. Why was she called a silly little girl? Some of the young children are so spoiled and rude nowadays, it is a hardship for teachers to be with them eight hours a day!
Norman E Grech
Feb 12th, 14:19
I agree!
S. Camilleri
Feb 13th, 01:27
Even though teachers do have their own difficulties and frustrations, such things should be dealt with in a professional manner and not taking out such hardships on children. As responsible adults we should set an example for children and show them how insulting others is by no means acceptable. Respecting each other and oneself should be the first basic theme taught by educators.
grace cassar
Feb 12th, 07:51
I do not agree with you mr. Seychell, when a person like an assistant head calls a child stupid, it can cause a life time problem. A child never forgets this, bullying should not be happening, it has never been in fashion and should be taken extremely seriously
i. schembri
Feb 12th, 11:44
agreed. no matter how hyper, crazy or disobedient kids can be, it doesnt mean that they do not look up to their superiors. a comment that might mean nothing to grown ups, might be devastating for a kid. teachers shouldnt be just teaching us english or algebra, they should be teaching us respect and positivity, as after our parents they are the next adults we remember for the rest of our lives
Karl Consiglio
Feb 11th, 23:28
Great, can fathers join?
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:27
Yes Karl, fathers are welcome. There are already men in the group, and they are quite vocal actually because men have been raised with almost an obligation to speak up and protect the ones they care about, as opposed to women who are raised to shut up and take it (as some other comments here prove).
D Zarb
Feb 11th, 22:51
So an eight year old communicates with her mother by means of notes. I wonder.........
Cesco Bonello
Feb 12th, 11:47
nice observation... makes you truly wonder
Marica Saliba
Feb 12th, 12:16
why do you wonder? the child was so upset she could hardly speak but only cry. Thank God this child can express herself in a way or another as God only knows what children who do not have the ability to communicate go through without their parents' knowledge.
Sylvana Brannon
Feb 12th, 17:20
Thank you, Marica... that was the exact reason. She was sobbing so hard she couldn't speak so she gave me the note instead. I am proud of her for having found other ANY means at her disposal to let me know what was going on, rather than keeping it bottled up inside.
D Zarb
Feb 12th, 23:01
I truly wonder what your true intentions were. 'You are nothing but a silly little girl' is quite different from 'Stop behaving like a silly little girl'. It is very easy for us parents to believe what our children tell us especially when they are hurt but one must be careful and divulge the whole truth before pointing fingers at anyone. I do not think you have done this.
Please choose the reason of your report below: