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Life that began at 40

I was unaware of the fact that 40 years had passed since the Labour Party had decriminalised homo­­­sexuality and adultery and I was then too young and too uninformed to have appreciated it. It is incredible how much life has changed since 1973. That was the year I started working.

The prejudice was so strong that it took me another 24 years to throw caution to the wind and come out
- Kenneth Zammit Tabona

I was 16 and had joined Barclays Bank out of pique on a temporary basis which eventually lasted 29 years and left me no wiser as to how to look at a simple balance sheet without passing out. In those days whatever the Labour Party did was wrong, for the Church, the Courts, the British were all formidable opponents and yet, miraculously, Dom Mintoff managed to pass this law which gave the police discretion as to how and when to ensnare the hapless victim; very often using pretty policemen as decoys.

We have seen enough on TV since then to know that while society adhered to Mrs Patrick Campbell’s maxim of condoning doing what one liked behind closed doors without frightening the horses, bribery and blackmail were the order of day. The self destructive trial of Oscar Wilde had shaken the gay world of the time – a world that existed in a different dimension – to its very foundations and traumatised it into invisibility. That is why so many gay people of my generation and older packed their bags and left for distant shores.

It must have taken great courage to pass a law like this at a time when people who knew anything about homosexuality still called it “the love that dare not speak its name”, the word “gay” still meant happy and being gay was considered to be a mental illness. Despite the law being passed in 1973 the prejudice was so strong that it took me another 24 years, coincidentally on my 40th birthday, to throw caution to the wind and ‘come out’, only to find that the people who mattered in my life already knew and had simply kept mum out of respect and more significantly, love.

I then realised that ‘coming out’ has little or nothing to do with ‘other people’ but is merely the final acceptance of oneself to be different; a member of a species that at times feels it came from outer space and which all the time, deep down, wants to conform with everyone else but simply cannot. Only we know what a terrible burden this is.

I was invited to address a gathering by LGBT Labour to mark this significant anniversary, the consequences of which had made such a difference despite the fact of many of us being unaware of it at the time, and was moved by the testimonials about how traumatic acceptance of oneself is and how we all had this terrible fear in common. It is this fear which sometimes makes gay people too strident and too aggressive, as anyone with the slightest knowledge of psychology will confirm. If people sometimes think that the gay lobby is too loud and in one’s face they must think again as there are at least two millennia of suppression to make up for.

So, we think we have come a long way. We may feel as if we have been emancipated and there is no more ‘us and them’. Think again. There are still regular correspondents in this newspaper who declare that love in the true sense of the word is forever denied to people of the same sex. They state that people like myself are slaves to demoniacal lust!

There are others who perorate about plugs and sockets forgetting that they are discussing human beings with feelings and sentiments who are far more fragile than most.

I wonder if they ever stopped to think about how deeply they have hurt people. These are people who are devoid of charity and compassion; people who are so judgemental as to render even Rhadamantus as innocuous as Winnie the Pooh!

They do not represent the Church and are causing the Catholic Church untold harm, for while the Church is, by statute if you like, unable to accept any sexual union other than the one legitimised in a heterosexual Catholic marriage, it does recognise the validity of the emotional relationship, the Love with a capital L, between people of the same sex.

It also deplores any sort of persecution, defamation or bigotry against gay persons and I feel that maybe it is time for us all, Church included, to stop making such a big deal about a mere bodily function and concentrate on what is real and true; a love that transcends basic sex which is the kind of love we all crave for whatever our orientation.

We have now reached a stage where for the past four years the PL has espoused the gay cause openly and with aplomb.

In comparison, up to a few months ago, the PN was hoping to solve all social problems by proposing a one-size-fits-all bill called Cohabitation – completely oblivious as to how antediluvian it was being.

Up to a couple of months ago people were wondering in which oubliette the centre-right had hidden its liberals when suddenly, coincidentally just after the providential advent of Simon Busuttil, the pendulum swung in the opposite direction in an incredulous and jaw-dropping manner.

Too little and too late; there is something called memory and something called credibility.

The harm caused by the politicisation of the divorce issue and its disastrous aftermath cannot now, on the eve of an election, be absolved and obliterated as if nothing had happened. If the PN has had a Damascene conversion it is going to take far more than pre-election spin to prove it.

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Ken Cowan

Mar 9th, 17:50

Absolutely! In every country where gay liberation has advanced, it is specifically because of VISIBILITY. People hold on to their prejudices until they realize that some of their favourite colleagues, cousins, doctors, teachers et al are gay. Then they begin to look more closely at their prejudices, and realize how unfair they have been.
So, come out, come out, wherever you are! Freedom now!

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 6th, 16:39

I can just see you up there on judgement day telling God to leave the business of judging others in your hands as you can do the job quite as well as he can. As a heterosexual I am very happy to leave it all in his hands. me being a nobody. And by the way is there no such thing as lust among heterosexuals?

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 17:16

Godfrey,
To judge is one thing,to admonish sinners is another. To admonish sinners is one of the works of mercy. Christ himself commands us to admonish sinners.
Yes,heterosexuals can betray love as well & live in lust. The parameters of sexual love are clear: sexual acts, interior or exterior, within marriage. So any sexual act outside marriage is lust not love. Authorities? God and nature.

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 6th, 19:00

Sorry but lust can also be found in marriage. Since you quote St Paul you will find him making this same point. To admonish sinners one has first of all to be free from any sin oneself and there is no such human on earth. So let God do the judging for He knows what is in the heart of every person and not you or I.

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 19:38

Godfrey

You can never escape the fact that any sexual act outside of marriage is always a grievous sin that separates the sinner from God.

What you must do is to follow God's Ten Commandments, including the Sixth and the Ninth.

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 16:11

Kenneth,
What you are saying can be true & false.
Although two men or two women can love each other, gays are not expressing this pure Love but basing themselves on lust. They always refer to 'marriage', so not just sharing their 'treasured thoughts'. They refer to their 'sexual acts', so they are not just sharing 'their innermost secrets'.
Tell homosexuals to stick only to Love without lust!

Joseph E Briffa

Feb 6th, 17:11

It would be interesting for KZT to let us know when homos were prevented from sharing their most treasured thoughts and innermost secrets with their same-sex friends or partners?

Edward Camilleri

Feb 6th, 18:51

This has nothing to do with love, or sex, or homosexuality, Mr Zammit Tabona.

There is a word which you should learn and that's loyalty. You owe your job to this administration. The least you can do is to be silent and stop railing against PN.

Eric Soames

Feb 7th, 01:20

Edward Camilleri: I'll let Mr Z T answer for himself, but ... what kind of grovelling are you advocating? There's a thing called a spine, you might want to see about getting one fitted.

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 7th, 11:42

Edward Camilleri, KZT owes his job to his capabilities , knowledge and expertise.

Mr Joseph Carmel Chetcuti

Feb 11th, 02:38

Edwards, I have a simple question to you: Are Maltese free to express their minds? It appears we are a long way from an open society. But then you and your PN are all about patronage. You scratch my back, I scratch yours!

Mr Joseph Carmel Chetcuti

Feb 11th, 02:35

Courts change their minds, ducky!!! We certainly do not expect all decisions to go our way all of the time. We are happy to fight and fight and wait. Perhaps the time will come when the European Convention on HR will be amended, as your PN intends to amend Malta's Constitution.

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 6th, 11:28

Equality does not eliminate differences between individuals but equality of rights applies to all individuals irrespective of differences. Human rights, to be so, must belong to every citizen that lives in a liberal-democratic society. If what we call human rights belong only to a certain group of humans then they are not rights. Had you and I been born gay we too will be clamouring for our rights

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 6th, 11:31

Equality does not eliminate differences between individuals but equality of rights applies to all individuals irrespective of differences. Human rights, to be so, must belong to every citizen that lives in a liberal-democratic society. If what we call human rights belong only to a certain group of humans then they are not rights. Had you and I been born gay we too will be clamouring for our rights

Evarist Saliba

Feb 6th, 11:51

Repeating your comment does not make it any stronger.
Just enlighten me what human right is being denied to Kenneth Zammit Tabona, and human beings like him, and I will then comment on what you are saying.

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 6th, 15:10

The repeat was by accident. For example not to be discriminated against in housing and inheritance legislation. Housing is enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (the emphasis is on universal). So is the right to property and how to dispose of it.

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 16:33

Godrey,

Our law of inheritance does in no way discriminate against any persons, let alone against homosexuals. So no one can bring forward our provisions of the law on inheritance to claim any pseud-right to unnatural unions or to unnatural pseudo-marriage.

Evarist Saliba

Feb 6th, 17:43

@ G. Pirotta

Could you quote what section of our law impedes homosexuals from owning property and disposing of it?
I am afraid that persons like you have been repeating to yourselves, uncritically, the propaganda meted out by biased sources to the extent that you have succumbed to "creating" rather than "respecting" truth.

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 6th, 19:09

Since you do not know me I suppose your attack is your way of running away from the debate. We are now used to arrogance from people for whom liberal-democracy is okay as long it fits with their beliefs. You have obviously completely been a stranger to the debate on co-habitation yet you want to lecture others. Ask your PN colleagues who have been recently so open on this issue.

Evarist Saliba

Feb 7th, 09:57

@ G. Pirotta
Look who claims that I am running away from a debate.
What contribution to the debate does your comment provide?
What has knowing, or not knowing you, contribute to the debate?

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 7th, 11:57

You used the old tactic of making the debate personal. Not knowing me means that you are not in a position to say whether what I wrote is the fruit of an uncritical mind and hence biased or that I have an agenda to "create" rather than "respect" the truth or that my statement was based on study or research. Making it personal is to muddy the debate. You ought to know.

Evarist Saliba

Feb 8th, 09:58

@ G Pirotta

Who made this exchnage personal, me for asking you a question which you did not answer, or you for saying that I am running away and not knowing who you are?

I have kept to relevant facts and sought to getsuch facts out of you.

Let's keep it to intelligent readers to decide who is running away and turned the issue personal.

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 8th, 12:30

If calling people names is keeping to relevant points you have lost me. But apparently you cannot even keep the sequence of the conversation. I suggested that your offensive remarks may be tactic for running away AFTER you made the offensive personal remarks not BEFORE. Because people may disagree with you and what to debate the point you raised does not make them uncritically minded, biased etc

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 8th, 12:35

Now to answer your point. The issue is not of just owning property but also of having a right to dispose of it as you wish. Can gay partners leave their property to their partner as married spouses can? Can two lower earning gay persons access social housing? You may find that in a Court of Human Rights this may be seen as discrimination. Discrimination implies denial of rights.

Evarist Saliba

Feb 8th, 16:38

@ G. Pirotta
Finally, you have answered my question, and Joe Zammit has already answered you, and you have not responded to him.
Who is running away?

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 8th, 21:26

But you did not answer mine. And I did not know you have been appointed to speak on behalf of others. And any intelligent reader would be able to see that Mr Zammit's answer is out of context for I never said that a gay person cannot inherit. The view I expressed was on the original point that you made on equality. So now you can answer both of my questions.

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 10th, 13:29

So while you are correct when you say that equality does not eliminate differences liberal-democracy, which is the political system of the EU, states that differences between people on grounds of gender, religion, colour or politics are not sufficient to deny human rights to individuals. Now you may debate whether a right exists in a particular situation but you cannot deny it apriori. Citizenship

Godfrey Pirotta

Feb 10th, 13:30

The issue I raised was about owning AND disposing not inheriting. Although you should know that until the 1970s children did not have a right to the so-called legittima and a parent who hated the fact that a son or daughter was gay could leave them with nothing. At the time as well illegitimate children were given the right to inherit which had been denied them. Another case of discrimination.

Mr Andrew Camilleri

Feb 6th, 12:35

Zammit, stop speaking on behalf of the Creator Your comments on gay people are disgusting and repulsive. By what right do you judge others? By what right do you interpret what God says?

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 22:03

Andrew,

I have every right to echo God's words as taught to us by his One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. Thank God, I know the good effect that my words, by God's all-powerful grace, are producing. That's why I shall continue to spread the truth up to the last second of my life.

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 7th, 11:58

Joe Zammit, no you do not have the right to be offensive and uncaring of other's feelings. The Christ I know and was taught about, the Christ I repeatly read about in the gospels would tell you to shut up. You show NONE of the love or understanding HE spoke about, and judging by your comments of love you have a very twisted view of this, God's gift. Love is not about procreation alone.

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 10:51

Kenneth

Truth offends, I know, but what I am saying is truth and I shall continue to spread it far and wide.

If you don't want to hear the truth, it's up to you. Remember that to deny the truth is one of the sins against the Holy Spirit, which cannot be pardoned.

Stubbornness in falsehood and in sin will not lead us anywhere except to hell, which neither you nor I want.

Mr Kenneth Zammit Tabona

Feb 6th, 15:07

Do not force me to say things I really shouldnt Mr Zammit. I know what sins against the Holy Spirit are. One of the most heinious being pedophilia so let us stop there.
The Holy Spirit's infinite wisdom far exceeds the understanding of human frailty that either you or I could have. Your understanding of Love is puny compared to St Augustine's burning definition of it.

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 21:45

Kenneth

If you have anything to say, please say it. I'm not in any way offended. I say whatever I have to say, knowing that what I am saying is truth.

Christ spoke the truth and he was contradicted for saying the truth, in fact he was killed too.

So, back to square one, homosexual acts boil down only to lust and are condemned by God. Only stubbornness can deny this.

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 22:00

Kenneth

If you have anything to say, please say it. I'm not in any way offended. I say whatever I have to say, knowing that what I am saying is truth.

Christ spoke the truth and he was contradicted for saying the truth, in fact he was killed too.

So, back to square one, homosexual acts boil down only to lust and are condemned by God. Only stubbornness can deny this.

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 7th, 12:11

Zammit. Tell me if same sex marriage is such an unnatural act, why has God allowed this to be reflected in nature as often as He does heterosexual sex? More than 1500 species have been observed to have same sex relations, the black swan and other birds have life long same sex relationships, mate with the female then send her off when the egg is laid for the male pair to hatch the egg.

Mr Joseph Carmel Chetcuti

Feb 11th, 02:29

Joseph, you are talking rubbish. Homosexuality was illegal before 1973 (not just sodomy). Read the parliamentary records and you will see that both PN and PL members of parliament knew full well that they were decriminalising homosexuality. Better try next time! Who says we are afraid to come out in public. I have been out since 1972. And proud of it.

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 5th, 23:59

If as Christians we take the premise that we are creations of God in His image, as homosexuals are than he is fallible. Nobody has a right to pass judgement on another. Christ Himself would not have passed judgement on homosexuals, and would have entreated you Joe Zammit to look at the plank in your eye. Christ never passed judgement on anyone so what right do you or the church have to do so.

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 09:10

Antonio,
Christ told us to observe all Ten Commandments. The Sixth & Ninth Commandments prohibit every sexual act outside marriage. Homosexual acts are outside marriage, so they are grievous sins that separate the sinner from God & put them on the path to hell.
To judge is one thing; to admonish sinners is another: it is a work of mercy. St Paul tells us homosexuals will not inherit heaven.

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 6th, 09:49

Joe Zammit, St.Paul was a persecutor and a murder of Christians, are you telling me that we are to believe that a taker of lives has a right to heaven and people with a different sexual orientation are to burn in hell. Is that what you are telling people that the sacrifice that Jesus made through his suffering was all about, so that the "Kingdom of heaven is for the selective few"

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 6th, 10:00

Paragraph 2358 continues: The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. They do not choose their homosexual condition; for most of them it is a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided." Nothing about burning in hell there either.

Joe Zammit

Feb 6th, 12:22

Antonio

You must take the whole of Public Revelation to know what God wants from us to love him & go to heaven.
God is love & wants us to love him, but we must love him the way he wants us & not as we want.

Masturbation, sodomy, homosexuality, fornication, adultery, incest, etc. are grievous sins that separate us from God. By God's grace & self-denial we can win these temptations.

Raphael Vassallo

Feb 6th, 13:02

St Paul suffered from temporal lobe epilepsy and all his statements/actions have to be viewed through that prism.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1032067/pdf/jnnpsyc00553-0001.pdf

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 5th, 23:46

With all due respect to my religion if that is what St.Paul said then Paul is a cad. The New Testament speaks of the Love of God, of forgiveness, that all can inherit the world. the sermon on the mount at no time say Homosexuals can pack up and start heading to hell for there is no hope for them. All this is so very reminiscent of a religion that persecuted thousand through fear and fire.

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 6th, 00:06

the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. those who mourn: for they will be comforted. the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.they who hunger and thirst for righteousness: for they will be satisfied. the merciful: for they will be shown mercy.the pure in heart: for they shall see God. the peacemakers: for they shall be called children of Go. NOPE nothing about homosexuals.

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 6th, 08:43

so that there is no misunderstanding to my last post, This was meant to rebut Zammit's idiotic statement that "... homosexuals ... will not inherit the Kingdom of God". I do not think Christ said anything in the sermon on the mount that excluded ANYBODY from heaven, considering that He accepted St. Paul into heaven then there is hope for all in God's love.

Antonio Anastasi

Feb 6th, 11:16

Since when are the protection and promotion of equal rights and fair unprejudiced treatment of all citizens an "utterly irresponsible as well as emotionally immature" act. The protection of human rights and the promotion of equality are more important than "Malta's economic well-being" Please Do not elevate this time in history to any special meaning. Its just another bigoted election.

Mr Andrew Camilleri

Feb 6th, 12:40

Daniel, we cannot ignore Simon's stand simply because it goes all against the very values the PN stands for. It now prompots gay adoption. Months ago it was fighting off divorce. It now wants to introduce gay partnerships. Its logo is a gay symbol as well as its election motto: union in diversity. The PN is selling its soul just to remain in power. Quo vadis Partito Nazzionalista?

Daniel Frendo

Feb 7th, 06:09

@ A Anastasi - yes, we are living through a unique historical phase and it could be suicidal to rock the boat 'Malta'.
@ Mr A Camilleri - although my personal opinion on moral issues cannot tally with the new PN stance, it tallies even less with that of PL. what we must remember though is that in a democracy our moral values cannot be imposed on others, which would explain the new PN stance.

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