Helen Raine discovers the magic of a Hawaiian programme aimed at creating a few hours of space in a busy week to reconnect with the kids and give them the skills they need to succeed at school and in life. Nurseries and childcare centres are indispensable, but perhaps Malta needs to consider a fun and educational programme that caters for parents and grandmothers, who choose to stay at home and bring a love of learning into their lives.

It’s 8.15am on a Tuesday and the hangar-like interior of the Hanapepe village church hall has been transformed. Adult-sized tables have been pushed to the side and replaced with large bamboo mats. There are large, mysterious storage bins on the mats and low tables dotted about.

The parents and the caregivers are the child’s first teacher. By having the caregiver attend, we are also able to reinforce that and give the caregiver teaching tips

Kids and adults are starting to trickle noisily through the door, finding the flags with their names on and taking a place in the central circle. Then, at the strum of a ukulele from one of the aunties at the apex of the circle, the gro­up quietens before bursting into the welcome song. Another session of Tutu and Me is starting.

Tutu is the Hawaiian word for grandma and the inspiration behind this free programme for zero to five-year-olds, aimed at preparing kids for school and specifically to get grandparents involved.

Just like in Malta, grandmas are often the main daytime caregivers for pre-school children. Alison Masutani, vice-president of operations at Tutu and Me, says: “More and more grandparents are taking care of their grandchildren in Hawaii... because the cost of living is high, which requires both parents to work. Even with two incomes, it is difficult to afford pre-school.”

Maternity leave is pathetically short (the statutory minimum is four weeks, of which 10 days “may be paid” in Hawaii, while in the last Budget, it was increased to 18 weeks for Maltese mothers) and since the island of Kauai is small and families tend to live close to one another, grandma steps in.

The Hawaiians even have a word for this tradition of extended family. They call it ohana, and it’s a way of life here. It works wonderfully to produce well-adjusted kids. However, Alison explains that this isn’t enough. “Approximately 50 per cent of our children do not attend pre-school. Without the proper preparation, they are not able to enter kindergarten ready to learn and succeed.”

Some haven’t learnt basic skills such as how to hold a pencil correctly and they might not know their ABC or numbers. (By contrast, in Malta, over 90 per cent of three- and four-year-olds attend some form of kinder­garten centre regularly, according to the Directorate of Employment, Labour and Social Affairs.) That’s a problem not just for the individual children, but for native Hawaiians in general.

The islands are an isolated archipelago in the middle of the Pacific, now part of America. The native Hawaiians have had a difficult time of it since the arrival of Europeans. Captain Cook landed here in 1778, bringing with him goods like iron to barter in exchange for food. He also brought death and destruction in the form of venereal disease, cholera and measles. Hot on his heels came the missionaries, the whalers and then the plantation owners, carving up the land.

The Hawaiians held their own for a long time and indeed still do, but along the way, they have been dispossessed to a large extent, and a disproportionate number have ended up at the wrong end of the socio-economic ladder. If their children then get off to a bad start at school and fall behind, the cycle seems doomed to repeat itself, leaving native Hawaiians seriously disenfranchised.

That’s where Tutu and Me comes in. This cheerful, innovative programme targets Hawaiian families in economically deprived areas, offering a range of stimulating activities for kids from birth to five. Alison explains: “The Hawaiian community does have preference and represents the majority in our programme; however, additional slots are offered to the entire community.”

In the UK, the Office for National Statistics estimates that a typical working parent spends only 19 minutes a day directly looking after their children, the equivalent of a couple of bedtime stories

Interestingly, it’s not a “drop-off” facility. The idea is not to substitute grandma, mum, dad, or whoever is taking care of the child, but to show them different ways to play and learn with their children. “The parents and the caregivers are the child’s first teacher. By having the caregiver attend, we are also able to reinforce that and give the caregiver teaching tips so that learning can extend beyond their time at Tutu and Me into their homes and with other family members,” Alison explains.

So at each station, you find not just a child undertaking an activity, but a caregiver talking to them about it and sharing the experience.

Now that might not sound terribly earth-shattering, but just take a moment to think about how many hours a week you really sit down and interact directly with your kids, with no interruptions. That means no phone calls, no texting, no making the dinner, or cleaning while they babble on and you answer by rote.

In the UK, the Office for National Statistics estimates that a typical working parent spends only 19 minutes a day directly looking after their children, the equivalent of a couple of bedtime stories. An additional 16 minutes is spent looking after children while doing something else such as going to the supermarket or cooking. Even the more optimistic studies suggest that the figure is only around 51 minutes a day for women and 32 minutes for fathers. There are no statistics available for Malta, but it seems unlikely that the Maltese are doing much better.

So it’s no surprise that a recent UK survey of 2,000 parents by Huggies also showed that the biggest regret parents have about their children’s childhood is spending too much time at work and not enough time interacting with their kids. In fact, the top five regrets were working too hard, worrying too much about things that did not really matter, not playing with the children more, not going on more holidays and not taking enough photos.

Both are away from the pull of the washing machine, the computer, the bills and the TV, doing something exciting

Over 50 per cent of parents regretted not having spent more quality time with their children when they were young.

Tutu and Me metaphorically clears the decks and gives parents a time and a space to enjoy with their kids. Both are away from the pull of the washing machine, the computer, the bills and the TV, doing something exciting. In fact, the caregivers are as enthusiastic as the kids about the chance to watch them do messy painting, or bead threading.

This is a radically different approach to the one adopted in Malta. Here, the Government has set up childcare centres with the objective of educating children and helping women get back into work. However, their hours don’t always suit working parents’ schedules.

In addition to these issues, the parents who choose to keep their children at home remain out of the education loop until their children go to school, and that can lead to problems when they do start, which dog them throughout their school days. Tutu and Me fills that gap.

Back in the church hall, every child has been welcomed in song form and we’ve moved on to the pledge of allegiance (you can practically see patriotic fervour taking root as dozens of little kids stand with their hands on their hearts), the Hawaiian anthem (in Hawaiian naturally; the programme also aims to support the learning of the Hawaiian language) and a prayer. Then it’s story time. The kids leap forward to be close to the giant books and the aunties metamorphose into anteaters, polar bears and lions to act out the story. We’re all entranced.

From circle time, we move on to the activities. Each month, there’s a theme, and this time it’s nutrition. There’s a pretend shop, where the kids fill their basket with fruit and use paper dollars and a plastic credit card to pay. The snack table is groaning with healthy food and the kids make their own fruit kebabs (testing hand-eye coordination as they manoeuvre the fruit). Even the library has lots of books on food. In a country which, like Malta, has worrying levels of childhood obesity, it’s a gentle way to get children and caregivers to think about their diets.

There’s also painting and giant blocks to fit together. The soft play area might look like unadulterated fun, but in fact, it’s there to help the children learn to take turns as well as burn off some steam. Each activity looks simple, but is based on careful research and designed to improve skills. A small board explains to the parent how to help their child get the most out of it.

Sometimes the instructors join a parent and child, chatting and offering friendly advice on any aspect of child rearing. The kids are also evaluated, so developmental delays can be picked up for earlier intervention.

After an hour-and-a-half of play, everyone helps tidy up and the circle reforms for closing stories and songs, the parents getting a chance to watch their kids enjoying the show. Finally, each child gets a bag to take home with another fun activity, an incentive to turn off the TV and spend some time together at home as a family.

At first, the take-home kit seems like overkill. But later on, as we sit as a family and bash out some rhythms on the drum and tambourine that were in my son’s bag, I wonder what we would have been doing otherwise. Probably loading the dishwasher and sweeping the floor. And yes, that still needs doing. But watching my one-year-old flailing her arms to her brother’s erratic drum beat is a special moment – one that I want to remember. Whereas the dishwasher... not so much.

That’s the magic of Tutu and Me; creating a few hours of space in a busy week to reconnect with your kids and give them the skills they need to succeed at school and in life.

Nurseries and childcare centres are obviously indispensable, but perhaps Malta needs to consider a programme that caters for parents and ohana, who choose to stay at home and to bring a love of learning into their lives.

Tutu and Me is in fact collaborating with international groups to export the programme.

One thing is for sure, the children who attend this are not going to be behind when they start school.

Sign up to our free newsletters

Get the best updates straight to your inbox:
Please select at least one mailing list.

You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link in the footer of our emails. We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing.