During these past years, and particularly now with the introduction of divorce legislation, family realities are continuously evolving and this has also affected daily life in the classrooms. Ramona Depares speaks to two educators to find out how they are dealing with it.

With living realities becoming more and more fluid, never have family structures been as ever-changing as now. The introduction of divorce legislation less than two years ago has only served to make these evolving realities ‘official’, but in reality, the traditional structure of the nuclear family has long ceased to be the automatic norm.

None know this better than teachers and other education workers, who have to face and deal with this reality in the best manner for their students.

What children are in need of is a loving and supportive home environment, independently of the family structure

• Angela Borg (not her real name) is a PSD teacher who has been working at a government girl’s secondary school for the past six years. Having started her career at a time when family structures were already fluctuating, Angela is very familiar with the classroom challenges that such changes can bring about both on individual students and on the classroom and teachers in general.

“However, the fact that the situation is not rare, to a certain extent actually helps. It makes students feel that they are not alone. Where I teach, such changing realities are actually more common than ‘traditional’ structures.”

Angela explains that in her experience, students who go through a negative transition in their family life – be it their parents’ separation, or any other loss – go through a rough time that brings with it negative emotions such as anger, sadness and grief. These emotions can be expressed through various forms of misbehaviour or withdrawal in the classroom.

“Like the rest of us, students need time and support to adapt to new situations. However, I would not simply attribute such problems directly to changes in the family structure. I would say these problems tend to be more related to the level of serenity and security students experience at home.”

Angela stresses that it is not necessarily a traditional family structure that is the deciding factor, particularly should there be some sort of domestic violence or abuse. She adds that what children are in need of is a loving and supportive home environment, independently of the family structure. “Whether the family is the traditional type, a single, or a gay-parent family, is not the issue. It is only when the child’s basic needs – the need to feel safe, loved and accepted – are met, that students can develop holistically.”

Angela adds that the students who exhibit most problems, in fact, are those whose families experience any kind of social problem.

“This is true in cases of financial hardships, or drug-relate problems, to quote two examples.”

Despite the fact that the family structure is not the be-all and end-all, Angela does believe that teachers need to cater for all the students’ needs, including ­emotional ones.

“Otherwise, there is little chance of success. And I don’t mean only academic success, but also the growth of other areas of their development. This growth is achieved by establishing a good student-teacher relationship through open communication, built on trust and mutual respect. In concrete terms, if, for instance, I notice changes in behaviour, where a student starts engaging in non-compliant behaviour, I talk to the student privately and take it from there.”

Another reality is that all family issues spill over to school in one way or another. Angela likes to say it’s not just their school bags that students take to school with them, but also family problems and ­traditions, hobbies, pastimes and learning styles.

“Unless we try to make the classroom an extension of the students’ social background, we will fail to provide an educational experience which is relevant to them. For example, a teacher cannot only make reference to the traditional family as if one-parent families, separated or homosexual couples don’t exist. It is important that the teaching resources (such as texts and narratives used in class) reflect the realities in the students’ lives.”

The same applies to a school environment where students come from low-income families; educators need to make sure not to place excessive financial demands on students, limiting the number of hand-outs that are incorporated in lessons. In extreme cases (and Angela says there have been quite a few at the school where she teaches) the school pays for their hand-outs, sponsors their lunch and even collects clothes for the families.

“Ultimately, it is only if we address the entire family and community context that the students’ needs can be truly catered for.”

Words like ‘parents’ have given way to more generic phrases like ‘your family

• Trevor Kissaun has been teach­ing PSD classes for the past 12 years. Throughout this time he has seen the family structure change considerably; however, he was very aware of changing family dynamics from day one in the classroom.

“At first I fell into the pitfall of forgetting the parents could be separated, that the student could be an only child, that the breadwinner could be un­employed, that the grandparents could be living within the family and so forth. In reality, teachers have always had to bear in mind that the family sitution of a student doesn’t always necessarily fit the stereotype that the teachher has in mind.”

He does concede that this is even more true lately and that the number of students from single-parent families has been steadily increasing.

“Of course, in a classroom teachers need to focus on academic priorities. It is impossible to manage all the priorities single-handedly with 16 students in 45 minutes. However, the day-to-day language has had to be modified in keeping with these new realities.”

Some of these modifications may appear superficial at first glance, however they help avoid potentially hurtful situations for the students. Words like ‘parents’ have given way to more generic phrases like ‘your family’.

“An aspect that took some getting used to was not taking for granted the relationships between caregiver and student. Nowadays, teachers are open to the possibility that the student does not necessarily get on well with his/her caregiver, or even with the caregiver’s partner.”

The question begs itself: to what extent does this situation affect students? In Trevor’s experience, provided that the educators exercise sensitivity, students are pretty adaptable. “The majority of students are quite open about family situations, whether separations, divorce or whatever. Indirectly, this does show it’s not perceived to be the end of the world. Most of the students’ peers will not be judgemental about this sort of thing.”

He adds that in his estimate, approximately four out of five students will not go through a hard time because of their family differences.

“I’m quoting my personal experience, of course, not any scientific numbers. But I’d say one in five would be affected and have their direction disrupted until they readjust.

“And another one-fifth of these will find themselves permanently thrown off their path – although I should add that when this happens you can’t really pinpoint the absolute cause as being due to family disruption.”

Perhaps surprisingly for some, he adds that he has experienced a number of students who have been happy that their parents are not together, the reason being that at least now there is peace at home.

“Some students even go as far as to say that if their parents are not compatible then it is better that they don’t live in the same house.”

We tend to give separated or divorced parents separate appointments on parents’ days

• Mary Galea (not her real name), another PSD teacher who has been teaching at an independent school for over 10 years, agrees that the incidence of one-parent and step-parent families is on the increase.

“Naturally, teachers have learnt to be more sensitive to these situations. However, there are other practical ramifications. We tend to give separated or divorced parents separate appointments on parents’ days.

“The PSD curriculum has also been updated to reflect these more common situations – you’d be surprised at how far-reaching the effects can be, from discussing bereavement to hobbies to families.”

Mary believes that how fast children adapt to changing situations depends on the support they receive both at home and at school, and also on the degree of stability in their lives.

“Equally important is the relationship between parents in the case of separations/divorce and the child’s own character traits, such as how resiliant they are and how well they cope and adapt to change. Even age is a factor in these cases... There are so many elements to take into account...”