Merry “!!£%$£”$£ Christmas
If you’re of the particularly quick and clever type, you might have already gathered that I dread this time of year with a passion.
Not only is it cold and about to get colder, not only are days shorter and about to get even shorter, but there’s also Christmas and the whole festive sharing, loving, hugging and really really bad singing that I have to deal with.
I usually go round revealing my dread to all and sundry. I moan and whine, I whinge and howl. This year however, I have been duly informed that under the newly passed ‘Adults Christmas Act 2012’ I’m obliged to smile through the whole season. I’m also told that this is especially important in the presence of children, even if said children are permanently hunched over something that vibrates, bleeps, toots and hoots.
Apparently, it’s also my ‘adult 2012’ responsibility to grin and bear uncomfortable heels, freezing toes, elderly flatulence at the dinner table, stuffed animal displays at lunch, and hard core Christians who look me straight in the eye and explain the Immaculate Conception all over again, and again, and again.
Every year, as soon as I unwrap my last birthday present, Christmas starts raising its nasty little head threatening to spoil my mood. It starts with tacky ornaments on window sills and goes on with the sudden appearance of hundreds of white bearded figures stuck in a back breaking climbing positions; it continues with horrendously cheap statues strategically placed on roundabouts, and climaxes with dizzy shop windows choking in tinsel and fake snow.
Don’t get me wrong; I really don’t mind making the long cold winter a little bit cheery with some lights, some extra hugs and a lot of Eggnog, but when decorations start to swell up my retinas, and when the fake love makes me break out in hives, it gets a little bit too much to handle.
Oh! All right, all right… I hear you already. Yes I’m your typical Christmas Grinch. I should be locked up and kept away at least until February, but the last time I broke out of my white jacket and painted the town red with Santa’s coat, so think again.
Anyway this year, because of the aforementioned Adult Act 2012, I’ve pledged to make a tad more of an effort. I hereby promise to be on my best behaviour, not to wince at the sound of jingly bells even when they are of catastrophic jingly proportions, not to groan at the sight of hobbling Santas, and my ears have promised not to bleed at the sound of festive melodies, but, be warned, if someone else tells me to put Christ back into Christmas I won’t be held responsible for my actions. I mean let’s face it, Christ was a Jew and not Christian and, He was very unlikely to have been born in December in the first place, so please spare me.
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Alexandra portelli
Dec 12th 2012, 11:38
Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on things, and I'm sorry you feel this way about Christmas. I personally love it as I get to spend time with the people I love and treasure in my life...I find it magical and reminds me of the positive side of life. We are surrounded by negativity all through the year, so, I think Christmas helps to finish the year on a better note:) God Bless xxx
Mr Aldo Grech
Dec 12th 2012, 11:36
Share much of what you wrote Allison.. however I opt not to go against people's moods or suffer misery myself..but rather dash off to some far and away land where the sun is shining, the beaches are in full swing and there is no hint of the (ch)eery Xmas spirit!
Ludgardo Zammit
Dec 9th 2012, 21:57
What a sad sad article!! Poor girl!!
Henry J Bonett
Dec 7th 2012, 13:27
Alison, I wish you a very, very happy Birthday followed by a Christmas and New Year during which you are bathed in the warmth of love and many hugs too. May they surround you throughout the new year and beyond. And, may I add,...God Bless You! too.
Andre Debono
Dec 6th 2012, 15:43
I agree with you here alison! Christmas has become just an excuse to boost sales, to spoil already spoilt kids, a time for fake greetings and smiles, waste of fossil fuel in electricity, gluttony, cliches, and other nicely packed b.s. people who stay talking about love peace and all that should know that LOVE and PEACE should be present all year round no need for materialistic crap!
William Spencer
Dec 8th 2012, 14:40
Christmas is a time for people to spend money that they cannot afford, on things that are unecessary and overpriced.
Edward Xuereb
Dec 6th 2012, 13:18
Christmas is meant to awaken the most profound and basic emotional memory within us, namely, the memory of the God who became a child. This is a healing memory; it brings hope.
Lucienne Dimech
Dec 5th 2012, 19:40
You remind me of the Grinch who stole Christmas. You have every right not to like it, yes it is commercialized but its up to each and every one to give it a meaning that best suits him. For me it is a time of joy and I feel a certain peace at heart nothing religious for me such as cribs and mass and anything of the sort just inside happiness. A merry festive season to you too
P. Barbara
Dec 5th 2012, 16:34
..talk about wet blankets.....and you had to take a dig at religious beliefs too while at it, sure why not...it's the in thing. Alison, you are missing the wood for the trees - most of the bogus celebrations you mentioned were thought up by miserable persons anyway, and you sure don't know anything about 'cold' if you are living wih us on this island !
J Martinelli
Dec 5th 2012, 15:25
Sorry, one 'l' in Alison.
J Martinelli
Dec 5th 2012, 15:24
Allison, one piece of advice - take an extended vacation in a warmer country where Christmas is not celebrated and probably suppressed and return, if you are so inclined, by mid-January when all the 'madness' is about over.
By the way, you are right. Jesus was not a Christian but a Jew. He couldn't have been a Christian since HE was the founder of Christianity. There was no Christian before Him.
Eric Soames
Dec 5th 2012, 15:02
Yeah, it's hip to effect an ennui about the season. Lord [?] knows there are plenty of things one can point to and squirm but it's possible to overcome them. As for the cold, well dear, it's seasonal so maybe you can come round to living with it and maybe grin with self satisfaction that you're not huddled in some subway tunnel tonight wondering if your feet will survive frostbite.
paul camilleri
Dec 5th 2012, 13:33
i say HUMBUG to all you scrooges. it really seems that Ms Alison and others hereunder have forgotton what Christmas really means. Christmas is a time where one should show love, respect and caring to each othe. Christmas is a time of happiness for all mankind even during wars Christmas is celebrated!!!
M. Busuttil
Dec 5th 2012, 19:46
Love, respect and care should be shown all year and not just for the sake of Xmas...I'd rather not have any hugs and love and etcc than have them because it's Xmas!
thank you but no thank you for fake gestures!!
matthew tanti
Dec 5th 2012, 12:58
you can jolly well keep your miserabilness to yourself.
Victor Rodenas
Dec 5th 2012, 12:29
If there were shepherds out in the fields then for sure it was not December,......it snows and it is very cold there.
Terry COURTNADGE
Dec 5th 2012, 12:15
You are not alone in your thoughts about the so-called festive season.
It seems to get more phoney every year.
Mario Scicluna
Dec 5th 2012, 10:39
Bravo Alison! One of your best articles, at least for me! Sums up my feelings as well.
James Borg
Dec 5th 2012, 14:30
....I tend to agree.....
Joe Scerri
Dec 5th 2012, 10:38
What I hate most about Christmas is the sheer hypocrisy of it all. People who do not even look at your face throughout the year suddenly remember your existence and send you a card or invite you to a party or some other gathering. This applies to relatives, colleagues and the lot I despise most, politicians. The true meaning of Christmas has long been lost and the only spirit left is in bottles.
Mr Tony Gatt
Dec 5th 2012, 10:34
Who says Christmas is about religion nowadays? It's just a commercial opportunity to most people.
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