Every so often I find myself in the unfamiliar position of feeling sorry for the Prime Minister. This doesn’t happen very often and my feelings of sympathy are rarely stirred by the normal rough and tumble of the political scene. That’s par for the course, and to quote another well-worn saying, if he can’t stand the heat, he should get out of the kitchen.

Having to deal with the permanently attention-seeking JPO is quite another matter altogether- Claire Bonello

A Prime Minister should be able to deal with the slings and arrows directed his way or make way for someone who can. Having to deal with the Opposition, the media and matters of national and international importance are part of a Prime Minister’s job description.

But having to deal with the permanently attention-seeking Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando is quite another matter altogether.

Last week the Prime Minister made an official visit to the Malta Council for Science and Technology. Pullicino Orlando is the chairman of the MCST, though the true extent of his contribution to the workings of the Council remains to be seen.

There can’t be that much time left over after jumping on multiple bandwagons and chasing any camera in the vicinity.

So the Prime Minister does the tour, listens to the list of achievements of the MCST, utters some niceties, is snapped by the assorted cameras and makes for the door. But his bid to leg it to a Pullicino Orlando-free zone is not successful.

The independent MP ushers him into another room where he reveals a chocolate cake with the words ‘Happy Birthday Jeffrey’ written in icing on the top. Those assembled are led into an uncomfortable, butt-clenchingly embarrassing rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’.

Someone who was there told me Gonzi couldn’t have been more stunned had a topless go-go dancer emerged from the cake.

After gulping down a few mouthfuls of cake, everybody legged it towards the door, the journalists no doubt preferring to deal with 1,000 deadlines than Pullicino Orlando and the Prime Minister cursing the day that he hadn’t put a rocket underneath the dentist from Żebbug the day he learnt about his Mistra planning application.

I somehow doubt that this ‘impromptu’ birthday party was simply the result of Pullicino Orlando wanting to blow out the candles on his cake in the company of his best friends. Knowing Pullicino Orlando’s love for theatrics and staged events (remember him sipping from that teacup at Mistra? And that ghastly press conference? And that sniffling away into a hanky during a mass meeting?)

I would say this is another of his not-so-subtle schemes to cosy up to the Prime Minister or to make it seem to the press that some kind of rapprochement is in the offing.

It doesn’t take much to see through this pathetic attempt at currying favour or making it seem as if the Pullicino Orlando-Gonzi rift has been patched up.

Of course, it should take more than a few crumbs of chocolate cake to make the Prime Minister forget Pullicino Orlando’s antics. If anything, that sickening little pantomime at the MCST should have reminded the Prime Minister exactly why defending and championing people like Pullicino Orlando is such a bad idea.

The warning signs were there before the last election – the playacting, the attention-seeking and the careful omission of key details which detracted from the Pullicino Orlando myth.

The fact that the top echelons of the PN headed by Gonzi gave the birthday boy their full backing, could be indicative of two things: Either that the candidate-vetting process within the Nationalist Party is hopelessly ineffective. Or that the powers-that-be knew exactly what kind of person Pullicino Orlando was all along and still stood by him and helped him to spin his sob story in order to swing the 2008 election the PN’s way.

That sort of ‘the end justifies the means’ mentality got the electorate landed with this hammy excuse for a politician, and the Prime Minister having to endure this death by 1,000 cuts and unwanted birthday cake. It all makes for a very salutary tale about making deals with the devil and having to face the consequences post-election.

I wonder if the political parties are taking note when considering the candidates who will represent them in the forthcoming election. One candle-blowing jester is more than enough.

cl.bon@nextgen.net.mt