It used to be babies who got the politicians’ kisses come election time; now it seems all of Europe has gone American and politicians are all puckering up and kissing their wives at the first opportunity.

Up till last election, the PL had partner-less Alfred Sant – who anyway, is not your man for showing affection- Kristina Chetcuti

I thought I’d better write about this now before the, ahem, official start of our own electoral campaign, as I have a feeling that we’re in for some smooching shows. I bet anything that the PN and PL campaign managers were glued to their TVs jotting down notes during the Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney election.

When during his acceptance speech Obama said: “Let me say this publicly: Michelle I love you now more than ever”, and then he went on to kiss her, our campaigners all started nudging each other and whispering: “Our Mexxej/Kap needs to do that too!”

Let’s pause for a second here: have you noticed that women politicians do not do this planting of big juicy kisses and love-talk on stage? So why do men feel the need to show us how lovey-dovey they are?

The answer, I think, is that they believe that by sealing it with a kiss, they’d be winning the women’s votes. But does it work that way? I’m not so sure.

Politicians’ kisses distract me. Even if they’ve just delivered a Martin Luther King speech, I can’t think about it, because my mind will be going: “Yew! That kiss looked awkward”, or “Gasp! Is that a proper snog?”, or “Oh, they look so in love.”

Also I’ll start wondering if they would have discussed it before. (“Right, Michelle, we’ll count to five and then break away, okay?”). Would they be anxious that it will look fake? Or would it be all spontaneous?

But then, how do they know how far the other one will go in smooching terms?

In Malta’s case, this will be a crucial election for kissing. Up till last election, the PL had partner-less Alfred Sant – who anyway, is not your man for showing affection. On the other spectrum we had Lawrence and Kate Gonzi doing the occasional embrace thing. And that was it.

This time round, Joseph Muscat has already given quite a few hints that the kiss-the-girl stint is his way forward. So will the forthcoming election be the battle of the pecks? Will the PN strategists start pushing for a Kate-kiss too?

The task comes with a risk. It can make or break a politician.

Obama does it perfectly. UK’s David Cameron was not that great when he tried to pucker his wife Sam at the last Conservative conference. And worst of the lot is France’s François Hollande. His permanently raised, puppy-like eyebrows just don’t match with girlfriend-kissing. (He pursed his lips as Valerie Trierweiler sort of forces her mouth upon his, kissing him somewhere on top of the left lip, almost nearly missing – and you get the feeling that she was really cross with him afterwards).

For it to work, the ‘election kiss’ needs to have a background. Take Obama: when caught unawares, he and his wife are always laughing and giggling and there’s a certain spark in the way they look at each other. That gives it a context, and that could result in votes because the couple would score high points in the living room parsing. Because, hello, a public kiss is there to be dissected.

“I think he is sorry he left Ségolène Royale,” I said as we were watching the dreadful kiss on television.

“I think he’s just a terrible kisser,” said a girl friend. “Or he’s worried she’s going to leave him a lipstick mark.”

“Will you just let the poor man be,” sighed her husband as we went on yapping and blabbing.

But I am thinking now that maybe politicians just do it because they want to lead by example. A recent survey in Britain shows people are kissing less and less – 80 per cent of the 2,000 British couples questioned said they no longer bother to kiss each other goodnight – and that is not good news.

Kissing is good for our health. When we kiss, our bodies explode with all sorts of neurotransmitters that make us feel happy.

Kissing reduces the levels of the stress hormone and allows us to feel more relaxed.

British war poet Rupert Brooke said: “A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.” And maybe that’s the thing our politicians have in mind when they pucker up. They want to look young and hip.

So my question is: if you were leader of a political party, would you kiss your wife or husband in front of the nation? And more importantly, do you want politicians to kiss in front of you come this election?

Send your replies here and I’ll pass on your thoughts.

krischetcuti@gmail.com