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Joseph declared King as Labour sweeps the billboards war

Elections are won by strange things. Obama in the US might get dumped as president for having a bad day when he debated with Mitt.

So in theory the most potent man in the world could be the best debater but the lousiest decision-maker. Sounds eerie when this same guy could have his finger on the button that sends us all down the chute of nukedom.

But I hear some readers whispering who the hell cares about Obama's ratings and plying destructive bombs? Buttons be damned—if you can jabber away semi-coherently you deserve the US presidency. Then you can just go into Iran and smoke 'em out cos the bloody Persians won't do your biddin. So let's leave the American shores and get serious about our electoral campaigning here in Malta.

The Labour Movement, ably led by Joseph Muscat, has surely won the war. Yes they have knocked the PN flat with a couple of cutting-edge billboards. We shan't even need a debate between the leaders—too much effort and God knows what problems for our Broadcasting Authority. Problems like: is the journalist standing in the middle of the sparring leaders wearing a mock smile each time Joseph opens his mouth? Is his blue tie proper attire? I can imagine the Greens ranting about the abysmal (or is that subliminal?) endorsement of the two-party monopoly.

The billboards war has saved us from all this. In fact we might even do away with the elections and the endless coffee mornings and Sunday homilies by the leaders and their pack and declare victory only according to billboard production and slickness.

Yes Labour has won a landslide victory. The PN is trying hard to keep up with the fun billboards but even here they are a jaded lot. The billboard war is all in Labour's favour. The labour ones are really witty, funny, and excruciatingly comical. They make us all roll with hilarity. They're in grand style unknown to Labour for at least half a century and are taking the mickey and are making us all laugh out loud. In fact we could easily rename the movement the LOL party. LOL and LOL again say all the happy motorists as they pass the fantastically funny billboards about bendy buses, the Unnamed blogger, Gonzi's divorce, his €500 secret raise by stealth and his strange coterie of fiendish friends.

So as uncontested winners let's ask the labour leader to take over Castille and the rest of the island. These people know how to make us laugh in these times of suffering, deprivation and impossible bills.

All our ills will be magically over if we have jesters in our midst to make us forget those damned ills. How boring can one get by compiling plans for the populace to understand and endorse. That is not the way of modern politicians. Who the hell wants to hear about plain boring future economic methods and terribly tedious schemes to make us understand what lies ahead in our Labour-led day? Only the pedantic, the boors, the Nationalists and the Times correspondents want such answers.

One politician from beyond our shores once quipped 'Where's the beef?'Here we don't need it—we've ground everyone to a laughing pulp.

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