Do not call me gay
IMPORTANT Disclaimer - this blog is not to be consumed literally. If you lack the sarcastic gene, please skip to the crosswords.
During my years at University, two of my very best friends hailed from Mellieha. To be perfectly honest, I always knew that something wasn't quite right with them - for starters, they hung around me out of their own free will, and secondly they hardly ever complained about the long commute to and from University.
Strangely, whereas normal people would hate that daily hour-long nightmare, these very strange people from Mellieha accepted it in a Zen kind of way.
Weird right ?
Even though I knew all along that I was on to something, at the time I couldn't prove that something was seriously off with the inhabitants of Mellieha, but today, after an epic decision that was taken by our courts, I've finally confirmed that I was right all along.
Finally, after my long long wait, nothing less than one of the most supreme authorities in our country has made it official - something is in fact very different with all those who live in Mellieha - so different in fact that anyone living there can probably get away, well if not with murder, definitely with attempted murder.
Of course this came as no news to me, because as I explained before, I knew all along that 'they' are different, and let's face it, how can they not be? Up there, the air is cleaner, the sea is bluer, there are less inhabitants per square meter, their coastline is to die for and, they're only a stone throw away from that other weird place - our sister island, where people have got to be even more different right?
So, today I can finally rest in the knowledge that our court of law has made it official - the mentality of Mellieha people is in fact different.
I am referring of course to today's epic case of a Mellieha man who purposely ran over and seriously injured, an Australian tourist.
Why you ask?
Well, because he was provoked of course.
For some reason the court's transcript for this case was not made available, but according to news reports back in 2004 the two Australian tourists were getting drunk at a bar in Mellieha when one of them started to insinuate that a Mellieha man, who was at the same bar with friends, was gay (shock horror).
No news report specifies what the insinuation was exactly but, at this point I feel safe to say that this detail is irrelevant.
To cut a long story short, the Australians were eventually thrown out of the bar, and the Mellieha man was heard saying that one of them deserved to be hit by a car. Later that evening, as the Mellieha man was driving home, he saw the Australians walking up the road, and true to his word, he drove into them running over one of them and causing him permanent injuries.
The accused admitted all the charges, and the Magistrate conceded clemency based not only on the fact that the Mellieha man had been provoked, but also on his cooperation, his clean criminal record and, of course, the generally mentality of those who live in Mellieha. According to the Magistrate "while there was nothing wrong in being gay, the fact that the imputation was made before the people of Mellieha might, in the mind of the accused and the people of the locality, have been unacceptable."
So there, now you have it, just as I had suspected all along, people from Mellieha should be forgiven all sorts of things, and attempted murder (after being called gay) should definitely be up there on the list.
In fact with this in mind the Magistrate diligently reduced the punishment by two grades and conditionally discharged the poor Mellieha man for three years.
And more importantly, after all these years trying to prove my theory about those who hail from Mellieha, I'm finally vindicated!
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A Stafrace
Oct 15th 2012, 02:21
The transcript has indeed been made public: Ref 256/2004
http://www.justiceservices.gov.mt/courtservices/Judgements/search.aspx?func=all
M. Degiorgio
Oct 12th 2012, 19:48
An insult is not in the words but in the intention and way it is said! There's nothing wrong with being gay, but when one calls you that with contempt, then it becomes an insult. Nevertheless this doesn't give one a right to take the law into his hands and run over the culprit.
Evarist Saliba
Oct 12th 2012, 16:37
I will never defend anyone who tries to run over another person, but I would point out that a well-known TV personality had to resign after calling someone "gay", using another word.It is not only people from Mellieha who find it offensive to be described as belonging to a group of people who accept a sexual activity which they do not approve.
Alastair Farrugia
Oct 14th 2012, 18:15
Being gay is not about "accepting a sexual activity" - it is a different identity, just like heterosexual identity, and it does not harm other people, despite a lot of propaganda to the contrary.
I wouldn't take offence if someone says that I'm black or blonde, and in the same way I don't feel offended if someone says I'm gay, although I realise that the other person is trying to offend me.
Evarist Saliba
Oct 15th 2012, 09:39
@ Alastair Farrugia
I would not object if I were called "gay" as long as this carried the original meaning of the word and not the corrupted meaning given to it by homosexuals. What offends you is your business but do not deny anyone else the right to have their own standards. Taunting someone gratuitously is offensive and provocative.
William Spencer
Nov 22nd 2012, 11:20
I object to homosexuals being called " gays "
IWhy not call themselves " homos " or something like that ?
Victor Bonnici
Oct 11th 2012, 13:36
Who's strange, your uni 'friends' or could it by any chance be you?
Ian Bugeja
Oct 11th 2012, 02:41
Yes Alison Mellieha people are different from the majority of the rest of Malta. They always kept their image clean and out of the daily headlines in contrary to other localities like Cottonera, Hamrun, Qormi, Marsa etc. They are the most north people away from localities which are famous for underage pregnancies, illiterate people and people on benefits. The long journey is a small price to pay.
G Schembri
Oct 11th 2012, 18:42
Now Ian what has the people of Cottonera etc got to do with this. If I resided in Mellieha I would have been insulted, not with what Alison (sacastically) wrote, but with the wording of the sentence. As if all people of Mellieha were homphobic, as if all Mellieha residents would be insulted it called gay, as if they have the right to take the law into their hands because someone insulted them.
Daenerys Targaryen
Oct 11th 2012, 22:37
You would do well to rethink before bad mouthing people from Qormi or Hamrun. Be very very careful with who you deal with.
P Mizzi
Oct 10th 2012, 22:33
Aside from whatever one called the other and wherever it happened, what we have here is an angry man running over another and getting let off lightly. He didn't run him over because he he lost control. The motive has been made very clear. He did him wrong and that gave him the "right" to get his own back by injuring him. What happened to "turn the other cheek"?
Melissa Thompson
Oct 10th 2012, 17:33
Apologies, something happened with the last point - trying to get across the sadness of the narrow-mindedness that pervades some Maltese mentalities -homophobic and racist - especially for a country that celebrates its faith. I doubt any god would welcome such horrid behaviour between his/her people.
For a country so reliant on tourism, they might want to sort that before tourists are put off.
Melissa Thompson
Oct 10th 2012, 16:48
Thanks Alison, your post has somewhat restored my faith in the Maltese.
I'm half-Maltese, live in the UK & have travelled to Malta often.
Im mixed race & have been racially abused often & this ruling sickened me. IThe judge who should know better.
Once, we saw racist graffiti daubed over a historical site in Valetta - shows the level of ignorance I guess!
Conrad Costa
Oct 10th 2012, 21:39
whilst living and working here in the UK, i have come across several people who have shamelessly said to me 'we speak <b>English</b> in this country' (albeit with a thick Norfolk accent LULZ) when they hear me talk with a foreign accent. Are they racist? I don't know. But xenophobia is prevalent worldwide, we are (by nature) distrustful of people who are different to ourselves. education helps
Henry J Bonett
Oct 10th 2012, 15:48
And I learnt that the first principle of law was that it was universal. But that was ages ago, and Mellieha, being on the tail end of Malta may, since then, have just crumbled out of the fringes of Maltese universality. Judicial reform? OMG, yes please, before salaries are contemplated, thanks.
estelle grech
Oct 10th 2012, 13:41
I know all about your weird Mellieha friends!!! Strange bunch indeed :)
paul camilleri
Oct 10th 2012, 08:59
one wonders what it would be like living in Mellieha branded being a gay???? would they take you to the village square and put you in stocks and suffer abuse from the local populance? would they start whistling at you as you walk by?would they even talk behind your back ( parolli fil bars)? or would they put up a sign that says here lives the GAY person? maybe during mass the preacher would call out his name during every sermon mentioning him as being gay. or maybe they would get in Dr Whos time machine and travel back to medieval times and conduct a gay (witch) hunt.
tell us Judge which of the above allows and gives a person the right to run over a guy in Mellieha just because he insulted the other????
ANTHONY PAVIA
Oct 10th 2012, 12:44
Absurd reasons given to justify sentence.
paul camilleri
Oct 10th 2012, 13:30
@ Mr Pavia
perhaps you can supply us with a better reason???
Tanja Cilia
Oct 10th 2012, 08:21
... as you know, I never call anybody gay, so I am assuming you were not addressing me! In any case, we all know that the people of Mellieħa ma jħalluhiex ħelwa għal melħa, which is how they got their name in the first place. Not because, and this I can say with conviction, that jiġu jitmelħu. Far from it, as we have seen from this incident. And anyhow... sourkrauts like me usually get the crossword out of the way before we read the blogs,
PAUL BUSUTTIL
Oct 10th 2012, 14:44
My you carry a heavy cross on your shoulders!!!
Please choose the reason of your report below: