Last Sunday, the Labour Party held one of its marathon fundraising events. You know – the ones where minor local celebrities in the party orbit put on wigs and sing a cappella and where the party faithful troop up and deliver the contributionsfrom the tea-and-tombolas held throughout the year.

Why do weneed attention-grabbing stunts to shell out some euros for charity?- Claire Bonello

Earlier on, the PN general secretary Paul Borg Olivier had sent out an electronic begging bowl asking people to contribute because “elections cost money”.

I’m sure we will eventually be treated to the sight of Tonio Fenech twirling in a tutu or Austin Gatt dancing the tango in another fundraising shindig.

However we should thank heavens for small mercies and be grateful for the fact that the political parties have – for once – not followed that tired old charity stunt – the publication of a nude calendar.

I’m not referring to the nude calendars where glamour models bare all – a sort of bonanza of Page 3 girls or veline splayed across the months of the year next to the spaces where we mark appointments with the dentist or our car service.

No – I’m talking about the ‘nude’ calendar craze inspired by the Rylestone and District section of the Women’s Institute who shook off their clothes, placed teapots, cups and jugs over their bits and bobs to issue a calendar to raise funds for leukaemia research. That was back in 1999 and it inspired a long-running play, a film and a slew of copy-cat strippers for charity.

There was the Bare to be Different initiative where a group of Tasmanian grannies’ calendar in the buff, exceeded all expectations. They had hoped to drum up enough money to buy new curtains for their community hall.

Apparently grey girl power was quite a draw and they not only managed to raise enough money for curtains but for a new wing, a microwave and a dishwasher.

Suitably inspired, a group of Australian sheep-shearers thought a naked calendar would be just the thing to attract women to up sticks and live with them in the bush. The subtle positioning of sheep and rams preserved their modesty. Since the original Calendar Girls, it seems that stripping off for a worthy cause has become de rigeur.

No self-respecting charity wants to be caught organising something as dreadfully bland as a cake-and-bake sale where everyone is fully clothed, and the cupcakes are eaten instead of being strategically placed in front of breasts or bottoms. Raffles are so yesterday and jumble sales won’t pull in the punters. So it’s got to be a nude calendar or bust.

And in the manner of all things, we jumped on the nude calendar bandwagon, albeit some 12 years after everybody and his grandma has done it. Some well-known Maltese faces are going to pose for the local version of the nude calendar to raise money for the Hospice Movement. Singer Thea Garrett, European Commission director Joanne Drake, and athlete Deidre Farrugia are some of the ones who will feature in the calendar.

I suppose it’s rather cynical or maybe a tad heartless not to be completely bowled over by the idea. After all it is an extremely worthy cause and necessity is the mother of invention and all that. But what makes someone say, “We need to raise money to replace the windows in the school hall, let’s take our clothes off (and hide behind a copy of the Wall Street Times)”?

Couldn’t we do something more creative than this time-worn stunt that has been done time and time again to the extent that it’s making people cover up (the legendary Pirelli calendar will now feature clothed models)?

It’s not the nudity that bugs me. You can be sure that there will be so many artfully placed pots/flowers/sheets/chairs that there will be much less flesh on display than the acres you can see on the beach or even on the streets. And careful lighting and angling of cameras will no doubt ensure that there is no gratuitous nudity or even a shadow of an offending buttockon show.

It’s highly unlikely that the resulting calendar will offend even one of the army of prudes out there waiting to pounce on the slightest hint of cleavage or skirt which doesn’t skim the ankle.

I think that, ultimately, what I find ever so slightly depressing is the fact that charities have to go to such ridiculous lengths to raise cash for very worthy causes. Why do we need attention-grabbing stunts to shell out some eurosfor charity?

Shouldn’t a simple reminder that others are suffering or need financial support be enough for us to want to help out? Does the milk of human kindness flow only if well-meaning volunteers flash their buns behind a milk jug?

If that’s the case, will there come a time when we suffereven more from compassion-fatigue and charities have to devise even more outlandish stunts to attract our attention and prod us into donating?

I’d like to think that we won’t be reaching that point any time soon and good old-fashioned empathy will have us giving out willingly without the need for prizes/bribes or more nude calendars.

cl.bon@nextgen.net.mt