The bishops’ pastoral letter on in-vitro fertilisation, issued on the eve of a “conservative” Bill regulating the sector, has outraged couples who have resorted to this medical process as a last-ditch attempt to become parents. They share their anger with Claudia Calleja and Ariadne Massa.
Couples who have had to undergo IVF to have a baby are angry at the Church for the “insensitive” pastoral letter that labelled their attempt to have a family as immoral.
After Mass I went up to the priest and asked him how he had the courage to read that to his people
“That Sunday my husband and I refused to go to Mass because we did not want to have to listen to such rubbish.
“Our conscience is clear and we don’t feel we did anything that went against God’s will,” said Claire*, 35, who became a mother through IVF last year.
Anna*, who recently got pregnant through IVF, agreed: “I was so angry when I heard what they said on the news. I refused to read more about it as it was upsetting me too much.”
Another woman, Daniela*, who tried IVF more than 10 years ago and eventually got pregnant naturally said: “I was so angry when I heard the priest. I wanted to just walk out.”
Louisa*, who never managed to get pregnant despite various attempts at IVF, said: “I am furious.
“After Mass I went up to the priest and asked him how he had the courage to read that to his people.”
The women spoke to The Sunday Times on condition of anonymity. Some said their fertility problems were a private matter and others said there was a social stigma and did not want their children to be labelled as IVF babies. However, they wanted the voice of couples who tried IVF to be heard.
Just last year, The Sunday Times had carried out a similar exercise and attempted to speak to seven couples whose IVF procedure was a success, but although they were willing to share their story, nobody was prepared to reveal their identity.
“The Church is fuelling this stigma by giving the impression we are immoral people,” Claire said.
In their pastoral letter, Archbishop Paul Cremona and Gozo Bishop Mario Grech described IVF as “morally wrong” and encouraged couples “not to concede to the temptation of taking ‘easy’ solutions” by resorting to the reproductive treatment.
Some priests refused to read the letter during Mass last Sunday. The two bishops later explained that the letter was based on the position taken by the Vatican.
“IVF is a last resort and not the easy way out. The Church speaks that way because it has no idea what a couple goes through. What gets me angry is that before declaring IVF is wrong through a letter, they should engage in dialogue with couples and see what they are going through,” Claire said.
“The easy way out? Clearly they have no idea what they’re talking about,” Anna said angrily.
Some time ago her gynaecologist informed Anna and her husband they need help having children and recommended they start IVF.
“My husband was happy as, to him, it offered a solution. But I cried. I came face to face with my infertility. I was scared of all that was to follow and having to take injections every day,” she said.
The couple decided it was worth it and started the treatment, which cost some €5,000. The doctor fertilised and implanted three eggs. One caught on and she is currently pregnant.
The new draft IVF law, launched for consultation last month, only allows the fertilisation of two eggs and implantation of two embryos.
“It’s a conservative law that completely ignores the progress of science. It’s a law against infertile people.
“In its efforts to ensure gay couples do not have access to IVF, some heterosexual couples are also being blocked from having children,” Anna said, as she pointed out that the law banned sperm and egg donation and surrogacy.
She referred to couples who were completely infertile, unlike those who opted for IVF where they usually had difficulty conceiving a baby.
Anna insisted it was difficult for many to understand what it meant to want a child and not be able to have one.
“It’s starts when you are a child. They give you a doll to play with to pretend you have a baby.
“When you develop into a young woman your period prepares you. Your body is telling you you are made to be a mother. You feel that unless you have a child, your life will not be fulfilled.
“Then when you get married people are always asking: When will you have a baby? It makes you feel less of a woman for not having one. It’s not easy to see all your friends and people around you having babies… Then you have to deal with relatives who say you are committing a sin by doing IVF, because that’s what the Church said,” she said.
* Names have been changed to protect the persons’ identity.