‘For us it’s a race and we just cannot wait’
Photo: Chris Sant Fournier
Two men, who went on an emotional rollercoaster with their wife in their bid to have children, struggled to contain the anger roused by the bishops’ pastoral letter and what they claim to be the government’s pussyfooting around the Church.
“To make matters worse Cana has come out linking IVF to abortion – it’s madness,” Andrew* said, referring to the Church marriage movement’s statement that wherever IVF was introduced it opened the door to legalising abortion.
Jack* had a similar reaction: “I have so much pent-up anger inside me. The pastoral letter and Cana’s statement are very painful. We’re told children are a gift from God, so are we now saying God discriminates?”
The two men spoke on condition of anonymity to protect their families from being unfairly labelled and because they felt infertility was a personal matter.
Jack, 42, and his wife, 40, got married six years ago and immediately started trying to have a baby.
Two years of trying failed to bring the bundle of joy they so wanted and so they started undergoing fertility treatments.
IVF, which they plan to attempt in the coming weeks, is the last resort in a journey that has been psychologically and emotionally exhausting.
“We’re not in our 30s. For us it’s a race and we cannot wait until medical advances increase the success rate of egg freezing,” he said.
The couple believe the proposed law is “unfair and humiliating” because it shuts the door on embryo freezing and takes away the choice of how many eggs should be fertilised from parents and doctors.
While voicing his admiration for theologian Fr Rene Camilleri’s bold decision to stand up against the bishops’ pastoral letter, he referred to the late Fr Peter Serracino Inglott’s position on this subject.
In March 2011, when he was taking part in a discussion on IVF, the professor of philosophy had said freezing embryos was “not wrong” in itself and felt the government should not be looking at the Church’s stand on this but focusing on its impact on society.
He had said: “Freezing per se cannot be considered to be a way of killing the embryo since it is keeping it alive. It is wrong only when freezing is done with an ulterior motive to destroy the embryo.”
Jack said he was convinced of the path he had chosen with his wife and urged the Church and State to function separately for the country’s well-being.
Andrew, 40, echoed a similar sentiment and said the Church’s words were hurtful.
He also lamented Labour’s silence on the matter and the government’s attempts not to offend the Church.
Contrary to Jack, Andrew and his 35-year-old wife already have two children – aged 10 and two – who were both born using IVF and the happiness they brought to his house was immeasurable.
“Infertility is like any other health problem – using IVF is a way of treating it. So if somebody is ill should they reject the medical advances that can save them?” he asked.
Andrew’s first child was born after the first IVF attempt, but it took sheer determination, thousands of euros, and nine other IVF attempts for his youngest to be born.
“Infertility was not a choice. IVF gave us hope. I’m all in favour of legislating but don’t steal our only chance at happiness.”
* Names have been changed to protect the persons’ identity.
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13 Comments
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J Cassar
Aug 13th 2012, 09:28
Why do the church in Malta need to butt into everything? If they want to lead the country they should run for the elections. They are always so quick to point fingers, pass judgement and make assumptions... They seriously need to re look at their commandments and look at themselves in the mirror.
Ms Borg
Aug 13th 2012, 08:37
IVF gives a new hope to married couples who have tried for years to have children with no success. IVF will help to save marriages and will create new lifes. Does the church know how many relationships are destroyed because they didn't manage to create a family? Does the church know from what these couples pass through emotionally? Ok maybe some embryos may die in the process but see it the other way - the child that is born at the end of the process and how much love it receives.
Don't take me wrong I love our Church but in this case I can't agree with its views.
Karl Borg
Aug 13th 2012, 07:40
First it was... divorce is the first step to bringing about abortion, now it's IVF who will eventually lead to abortion. Give us a break. We aren't as close minded as you guys try to make us.
Amante Reale
Aug 13th 2012, 08:58
No, no! Don't you understand? The church WANTS people to be close-minded. What they don't want is people who can think for themselves, who aren't scared of the boogeyman waiting for them in hell. Close-mindedness is not the problem of the church... it's the foundation on which it is built.
Mark Cassar
Aug 13th 2012, 01:52
What is wrong with the current IVF procedure is not the children that are born; it is the children that are left on the shelf in the lab's freezer, next to the chemicals. And if forgotten, left to die and to be discarded. Nobody carrying out IVF goes into it thinking about babies forgotten and left behind, but that is what actually happens. Just because a priest and learned professor gave validity to IVF, does not presuppose that he was right.
M Cassar
Aug 13th 2012, 00:09
The Church must be so proud of itself, banning contraception even in marriage and now attacking IVF. Both concrete steps to strengthen marriages no doubt. The real shame is that this attitude is stealing the public's possibility of getting the support from a religious community which moves with the rest of the civilized world.
It is a pity that no one has asked Cana to explain its odious comparison but then what better way to threaten people than with something that no one can prove and none have ever seen........
M Cachia
Aug 13th 2012, 13:36
Fertilised eggs are not left in freezers next to chemical for crying out loud. Look up Cryopresrvation! And please tell me how a fertilised egg, fertilised outside a human body classifies as a baby? Because using your logic how do you feel about al the miscarriages that undoubtly happen to a lot of couples who can't have kids and resort to IVF?
Mark Cassar
Aug 13th 2012, 17:26
Mr/Ms M. Cachia, you posted on the wrong Cassar. You read too literally. You prefer: A liquid nitrogen chamber in a cold room set at minus 25 degrees centigrade, next to the chemicals. The procedure involves deep freezing; does it not? The miscarriages that occur, are nature's way of aborting non viable human beings; but to go into a procedure knowing that a potential human being is left indefinitely on the shelf (metaphorically) if not utilised by the doctors in question, until such time that the parents are willing and able to take the embryo into the world is not giving that potential baby a fair and fighting chance for life.
Anthony A. Mifsud
Aug 12th 2012, 20:17
I simply don't know what to say, how could the curia play the game when she is not in it!
my meaning is, if a footballer plays football, it means he has to be a pro. but the Cana group they want to call thier shots and call Aborsion when they don't have the feeling and afterall they just a bunch of prists, O my God I will not call them names as there are still thousands that they do more than good.
but for a couple that needs that little sparkle of life in thier house let them have it.
Don't do a pussy politics like the Divorse. Gonzi PN put the curis in a trap.
Ninu
Eugene Sapiano
Aug 12th 2012, 12:30
Once the Cana movement also taught us that some contraceptives were abotificient, and the 1987 government removed them from government clinics on the pretext that the doctors were not at peace with their concience!
Let us have a liberal IVF bill not similar to that of Italy, but to that of Spain which is the envy of all European countries; so former Prime Minister Zapatero did a lot of good to Spain not just fight with the Church!
C Muscat
Aug 12th 2012, 10:36
I do not see any argument in expecting the Church to teach for example against abortion; because in some cases that are pro life this doeas not fully hold.
Let the church teach us and guide us and for each and every particular case there is the considerations to make it good or bad for that case.
Mr Anton Portelli
Aug 12th 2012, 13:44
Unfortunately the church is again bringing up the issue of abortion as it did during the Divorce Debate. What has Divorce and now IVF got to do with abortion? The Bishops never empathise with those who are suffering because of some problem. They just want to rule and influence and dictate what the Government in Malta does. They create taboos which lead to bullying and feeling of guilt without caring for the feelings of the individual.
The goverment should legislate for all and not only for Catholics........if necessary the Constitution should be amended.
C Briffa
Aug 13th 2012, 07:32
Mr Portelli you will soon realise that the next step is abortion, wait and see
Please choose the reason of your report below: