Out of the box

I finally managed to watch Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. Since it’s been touted as one of the year’s must-sees, it’s a mystery why I waited so long. Or maybe not. Although Scott has been careful to move away from the initial Alien prequel idea, somehow the label stuck. And I must confess to being very wary of prequels, sequels and other unequals.

Nowadays, all we get are super-slick effects, but no real psychological challenge- Ramona Depares

I needn’t have worried. The movie is a masterpiece of tension, existential questions, gore and ‘eek’ mo­ments. It doesn’t suffer from prequelitis, though you do at times catch yourself referencing the Alien series.

1980s cinematic cheese

This set me thinking about what I consider to be one of the masterpieces of cinematographic horror; the first Alien. I still remember the hype when the sequel was released in the mid-1980s. No matter how I tried to cajole my parents into allowing me to see both movies, it was no-go. When I did manage to see them, I got the pants scared off me.

I must have a strong masochistic tendency because, no matter how unwise I know it is, I have managed to see most of the 1970s and 1980s horror classics. The special effects might have been cheesy, but the movies themselves never failed to deliver on the fright factor.

Can we really say the same of the more modern productions? By modern I mean anything that came after the mid-1990s. Heaven knows that there’s no shortage of ‘horror’ out there. And way more gore than anyone would have thought possible in the ketchup days of three decades past. Yet, somehow, the end result is nowhere near as effective as in the cult hits of yesteryear.

When I think of the likes of Saw, The Grudge, Cabin Fever, Jeepers Creepers, Hostel and the scores of other popcorn productions, I don’t get the semi-delicious shiver up my spine when I think of the first Alien, or Poltergeist or The Shining. 1970s and 1980s horror movies had the real scare factor. Nowadays, all we get are super-slick effects and tonnes of torture porn that makes us wince, but no real psychological challenge.

Prometheus, I’m glad to say, is a return to old form. Catch it at the cinema or on DVD if you have not yet done so.

Sound bites

My radio saga continues. Last week I had a good gripe about elocution. This week the spotlight turns to our advertising, ahem, gurus. Seriously, is there some sort of conspiracy among certain radio stations to promote a ‘lowest common denominator’ humour and lifestyle?

Sometimes it seems like advertisers – and, by association the station managers who accept their campaigns – are actively encouraging slow-thinking/slob-like behaviour. Some stations are more guilty than others, and now I’ve become used to which channels I should zap to should I be in the mood for a quick snigger.

The humour invariably follows the same theme, featuring one protagonist who’s a sandwich short of a picnic, who somehow finds that all his troubles are solved by the product in question. To hear these para­gons talk, you’d think we all spend our day trying to figure out how to clean dirty windows/choose furniture/figure out a quick dinner/all of the above.

I can forgive the sheer insipidity of these adverts; the biggest damage they cause is to make me roll my eyes while behind the wheel, but my driving skills can take it so that’s fine.

What I can’t forgive, on the other hand, are those adverts that actively promote unsavoury behaviour.

A particular campaign that’s being aired pretty frequently on at least two stations finds the ‘star’ of the vignette wondering out loud how her best friend manages to show up with a new outfit every weekend.

All this is uttered in that Maltese nasal whine that typically denotes irritation born of jealousy.

Seconds later, our intrepid star gleefully informs us that she has solved the mystery; her friend is shopping at a particularly inexpensive outlet. Any sane person would have discovered this through the simple expedient of asking.

But no – apparently it makes more sense to tell us casually that this uber-cheap place was identified by dint of shadowing the unsuspecting friend till she reached destination.

And before you accuse me of lacking a sense of humour, all this is said with no hint of irony whatsoever. We’re not supposed to be laughing at the protagonist’s questionable ways; we’re supposed to be admiring her ingeniousness.

So what we have here is an advert that glorifies petty jealousy (honestly, who cares how often our friends buy a new outfit?) and encourages stalking. Nice one.

rdepares@timesofmalta.com