I wonder if there’s anything to the idea that I’ve just had that Labour and its adherents are, basically, teenagers. At the moment, the Nationalists are pushing the idea that Joseph Muscat, currently leader of the Labour Movement Party Thing (another teenage trait, that, being unable to express an idea succinctly) was responsible, thanks to his journalistic motor-mouth syndrome, for tipping the Nationalist Party off to the fact that Mistragate was about to hit the revolving blades with something of a splat.

Labour’s response, in true teenage fashion, is to moan “how boring” and then start pointing fingers all over the place and spluttering “yes, but, no but, yes but” for all the world as if Vicky Pollard writes their pressers. Apparently, always according to Labour, it was the Nationalists themselves who broke the Mistragate story in order to be able to scapegoat what’s his name when they lost the election.

Yeah, right, to use another teenageism, that’s really believable: the Nationalists, who everyone knows were leading Alfred Sant and his Labour Party by between 5,000-7,000 votes, dreamt up Mistragate, which dragged them below the line, to have someone to blame if they lose.

Just like teenagers, Labour are unable to look beyond the immediate, especially when there’s some instant gratification to be had. How else would you explain their opportunistic leap onto the renegades’ bandwagon, which did them so much harm with anyone who respects integrity and loyalty? Do they think beyond the next couple of days, if that?

You can see the symptoms in the depth of their arguments, whatever the subject happens to be. Remember when Acta was being discussed? All the trendies, the wannabe Che Guevaras, got into their clenched fist t-shirts and manned the barricades and, lo and behold, there was Labour among them, screaming about freedom and apple pie along with the shrillest.

Of course, when it came to sitting around a table with the grown-ups and deciding to ditch the initiative, for better or for worse, they weren’t anywhere to be seen. Even Labour’s oldies, it seems, don’t have the energy for following things through. Why else would Karmenu Vella have to have had someone attached to him to write their electoral manifesto, a feat which even now hasn’t been accomplished? If it had, we’d know, for instance, what Labour intend to do if push comes to shove and they will have to bring down water and electricity prices. If it’s true that they intend to raise the VAT rate and use the income to cushion prices, then they’d better think again because EU rules don’t allow cross-subsidies.

Or are they thinking of taking us out of the EU and haven’t got around to telling us yet? I only ask because I just saw a Facebook inanity that had a coterie of Lil’Elves saying how much they prefer the old Malta lira to the euro and it had been liked by one of Labour’s rising star candidates, who I shall leave unnamed in deference to her delicate condition. Is there something we don’t know being cooked up?

One of the mantras that Labour keeps chanting, a bit like teenagers with incense burning in their nostrils, is how “the current uncertainty is harming the country, mainly its business community”.

Actually, it occurs to me that this is quite true: the business community is getting a bit worried and feeling uncertain because there seems to be a good chance that Labour will get elected and the complete barrenness of the landscape when it comes to their plans (apart from doing a social impact assessment before taking any decision, of course) is worrying business planners no end.

And that’s apart from the worry that Labour get elected in itself, given that the people who seem to be at the helm are nothing more than a throwback to the good old days, when bulk-buying was the norm and you needed a licence for everything. Astute readers will have noticed that I mentioned above that there’s a chance that Labour will get elected. It’s a pretty good chance, if you believe the polls, and it seems that some of Labour’s Lil’Elves have come to the conclusion that it’s no chance at all but an out-and-out certainty.

You only have to look at the bullying tone of their comments to this column and my blog, like teenage louts hanging around a street corner, to see this.

Truly, the youth is the father of the man, and it’s a worrying thought, when you think it.

Switching to happier thoughts, we had a birthday party at dVenue last week and Daniel came through with a great spread: if you have something you need to organise up north, it’s not a bad place to go at all.

The day before we went to hear Scarlet, which is Renzo Spiteri and two others, to my shame the names escape me, at the Għajnsielem Football Club and it was a great show. I’d forgotten just how Renzo works his magic on anything that can be hit or shaken. Actually, that last sentence was what I would have written hadn’t we grabbed a good dinner at Sharma in Mdina, where they were playing and I learnt that they were Sandrina and Keith.

imbocca@gmail.com

www.timesofmalta.com/articles/author/20

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