Four fathers share the lessons they learnt from their fathers and tell Sandy Calleja Portelli about the values they hope to pass on to their own children.

There are many things handed down through generations: genes, values and family traditions are but a few. Perhaps the most intimate inheritance comes in the form of life lessons a father passes on to his children.

Consultant orthopaedic surgeon Anthony Bernard is the proud father of five sons: Jean Paul, 33, a doctor working in Oslo; Daniel, 30, an architect; Richard, 28, a lawyer; Julian, 25, a motor sport engineer working in the UK; and Andrew, 23, a fourth-year medical student.

I hope that they have gained a sense of fairness and fair play- Anthony Bernard

What was the best lesson you received from your father?

I think the most inspiring lesson I learnt from my father Paul, known as Lennie by all his friends, was the importance of a sense of duty and responsibility and dignity of work and loyalty to God and family first and foremost. He taught us by example of years of hard work, which he performed both at the office and at home.

What is the most important lesson you hope to pass on to your own children?

I hope that following my own father’s example, I have also shown my sons the importance of hard work, although we have tempered it with good quality time and a commitment to activities, especially those we could do together, whether it be motor sport, or sailing and music.

I hope they have gained a sense of fairness and fair play, and in camaraderie they learnt to appreciate and respect all others without prejudging anybody.

Most importantly, I hope I have helped them achieve that difficult balance. Although there will always be times when the going gets tough, when one has to batten down the hatches and battle through the storms of life I hope they have learned to maintain a sense of proportion, avoiding unnecessary risks whenever possible.

My greatest satisfaction is seeing how well they get on together and how devoted they are to their mother. I detect an occasional little shard of my own personality in them, although they have all developed very differently and pursued their own different vocations to become men.

Emil Bonello Ghio, managing director of Arjakon Ltd, is the son of Guido Bonello Ghio, father to four-year-old Benjamin and stepfather to Mattea, 15, and Andy, 13.

My father taught me to work hard with determination and perseverance to achieve, never giving up- Emil Bonello Ghio

What was the best lesson you received from your father?

My father was not one to sit us boys down and explain things to us; far from it! However, I have learnt many lessons from his different roles as a father, husband, brother, friend and businessman.

Many lessons come to mind, but to mention a few, I would say he taught me to work hard with determination and perseverance to achieve, never giving up, respecting all others without prejudice, the meaning of true sacrifice, always ready to reach out and help others, to be kind and giving, and to try to keep smiling and be happy at all times despite the difficult moments one faces.

I must confess it is hard to choose just one, since they are all important lessons to live a good life. However, if I were to pick one, it would have to be to work hard and persist to achieve one’s desires.

He always worked extremely hard at whatever he set himself out to do, be it at the office, with us children, and anything else he felt was worthwhile persevering for. He was always, and still is, a very determined person and always does his utmost even during difficult times or when the possibilities to achieve are minimal or unlikely.

What is the most important lesson you hope to pass on to your own children?

There are too many to list. In reality, at different age and stages in a child’s life, throughout the transition to adulthood and afterwards, we face different demands and difficulties. Consequently, different lessons are taught and learnt for various circumstances as they arise, and unfortunately learn from mistakes.

Also, times are changing and one has to continue adapting; what applied years ago need not be the same now. I believe one must always try to achieve a balance. I have always found this to be of ultimate importance in everything I do.

For better or worse, the world is not only moving at an extremely rapid pace, but we have become more demanding individuals with far higher expectations. Life is no longer as simple as it once was.

I want my children to always try to achieve a fine balance at all times and in everything, between work, study and play, saving and spending in moderation while enjoying life.

Actor and principal of Helen O’Grady Academy, Malta, Alan Montanaro, has fond memories of his father Anthony. His daughter Rebecca is 18 years old.

I hope to pass on to my daughter a certain amount of diplomacy, a little bit of dignity, a sense of self-worth, respect and acceptance of others- Alan Montanaro

What was the best lesson you received from your father?

My dad was editor of The Sunday Times, a Knight of Malta and a very respected man. From him I hope to have learned a certain amount of diplomacy and picked up a little bit of dignity.

What is the most important lesson you hope to pass on to your daughter?

I hope to pass on both these lessons to my daughter. I also hope to pass on a sense of self-worth, respect and acceptance of others to my 18-year-old.

Bernard Vassallo is chairman of Kunsill Malti għall-iSport. His father Willie is known for his career as a sports journalist and his son Matthias is eight years old.

Dad taught me from a young age that it is human to make mistakes- Bernard Vassallo

What was the best lesson you received from your father?

As a child, I learnt a lot from watching my father’s decisions and listening to his logical explanations. Yet one of the best lessons I acquired from my dad is that persuasion and discipline do not need to be physical or vociferous in nature.

With patience, positiveness yet unfailing decisiveness and leadership, dad encouraged me to search for my own strengths and make my own decisions and choices.

Dad taught me from a young age that it is human to make mistakes, yet the most important thing is to learn from them and try to avoid making the same mistakes.

What is the most important lesson you hope to pass on to your own son?

I am a firm believer that fathers play an important role in their child’s development and that well-fathered children tend to develop into more emotionally intelligent and socially successful adults.

Being a father myself, I want to pass such values to my son and try to be a teacher both by word and example, as children need to be taught right from wrong and will need to see it demonstrated in some way by their father. My wish is to challenge my son to try new experiences, develop more problem-solving skills and be more independent.

I am very aware that today a child’s life is filled with various pressures and I hope to help my son understand his capabilties and limitations and encourage him to live a well-mannered life with good, sound values and meet his full potential and desires.

I do not want to influence my son in any way and want him to freely make his own decisions and choices as dad did with me.

What I dearly would like to pass on to my son is innate confidence and the motto I firmly try to follow in my life: ‘Respect everyone but fear no one’.