Well-mannered children. Remember them?

They used to be all the rage but, much like the poor Siberian tiger, they appear to have been hunted into extinction. Or maybe they simply grew up wanting to offer their own kids a freer, more relaxed childhood. Unfortunately the truth is that a freer and more relaxed childhood for the little ones translates into a stomach ulcer for the rest of us.

Let’s take the simplest endeavour. Enjoying a quiet chat at a coffee-shop without being harassed by someone else’s kids has almost become mission impossible.

And I’m not talking about the obvious spots, where screaming brats are almost part of the franchise. If I’m slumming it at Macdelicious or at Burger Empire I certainly don’t expect anyone under the age of twelve to sip their drinks primly.

But if I’m (trying to) have a quiet coffee and a chat at an establishment where paper hats aren’t considered part of a meal, then yes. I fully expect parents to stop their children from treating the coffee-shop floor like their own private playroom, running and shouting in all directions and plonking themselves uninvited on other customers’ tables.

That’s right. I’ve actually had children sit down at my table and proceed to pick up my handbag and investigate the contents, while a highly amused parent shouted out from across the other side. Said shouting didn’t involve chastising the child, you understand.  On the contrary, it involved much giggling and many repeated “He’s really curious and bright, wants to check out everything, God bless.”

This last, directed at me. I let the parent in question know exactly what I thought about Junior’s alleged “brightness”, through one of my famed cold glares. Not discomfited in the least, the parent changed tack to “Come here because the lady doesn’t like it.”

Not because basic manners dictate that you should not plonk yourself at a stranger’s table and start rifling through the contents of her bag. Of course not, don’t be silly. It’s because “the lady doesn’t like it”, effectively turning me into the Wicked Witch of the West. Because of course, I’m such a bitch for wanting to enjoy my coffee in peace when there’s someone else’s kid to entertain.

I wish I could say that this was a rare glitch in a landscape of beautifully behaved little angels. It’s not. I – and presumably most of you – get exactly the same thing pretty much in every public space where kids are present. Queuing at the bank, dining at “adult” restaurants where kids have no place anyway, on the bus... Ill-behaved children with foolishly doting parents have become the norm rather than the exception.

Chastising a child seems to have become the biggest social faux pas anyone can make. Somewhere along the years, a misbehaving child has become cute, rather than irritating and needful of correction.

The weird thing is that this attitude applies not only to the parents of the little monst...erm...angels, but also to said angels’ “victims”, ie anyone sharing the same twenty square metres. Cue the infamous phrase that I invariably hear in situations where some kid is being an obvious pest: “u ħallih, dak għadu tfal” (leave him be, he’s just a child).

I beg to differ. The annoying child will one day become an annoying adult. Best case scenario is a very limited circle of friends. Worst case, you get an adult with no idea of how to function within a civilised society.

And we all know how those stories tend to end.