Joseph Muscat declares that he will give 16 year olds the vote—in local councils of course. They—the young ones—aren’t good enough for the real thing but they can always add some colour and youthful enthusiasm to a jaded part of our electoral life. Good for the chief musketeer—always one step ahead of his foes. And unlike his foes, those dreadful Nats, his party is all for one and one for all.
Flashier news
Lawrence Gonzi, seeing his good old foe so forward with his new, glitzy ideas, offers all 12 year olds the full vote in the full elections and not in the paltry, silly, useless, local elections. Asked by no one about this ground-breaking initiative the Prime Minister beams his big smile of old, and declares: “We, unlike Muscat&Co, believe in full, and not half, measures. Our economy is resilient and we have created 7521.2 new jobs in the worst possible scenarios. So undoubtedly all 12 year olds deserve the vote.”
Flashing phones
Contacted in his Għaxaq constituency the most effective lawyer in the known histories of the galaxies says that to give 12 year olds the vote is unheard of and tantamount to a dictatorship. The last time he remembered anything constitutionally significant done by a 12 year old was when he—Dr Debono that is—was singled out for future greatness when he managed a fantastic result in one of the most gruelling subjects in one of Malta’s leading schools. The rest is like the dark ages; this darkness which is being flung back in full on us because the savvy lawyer has not been given the full custodianship of our country.
Late unverified news 1
The Green party in Malta has offered votes to all those attending kindergarten. Michael Brigulio believes this will break the centuries-old hold by the PLPN dictatorship. With votes given to these kids the greens will surely win more seats than normal.
Late news 2
The communist party has risen out of its comatose state and declared that they will be granting the vote to everyone above the age of 2 days. Their spokesman, who wishes to remain anonymous, announced: “We as true commies believe the state should look after us from conception to death. So we will change all the babies’ nappies on the way to the polling station where all free babies will be forced to vote for the newly constituted Commie Nappy Party.”
News still trying to be conceived
A spokesman for the +9 Gift of Life foundation has declared that all unborn babies, conceived both in vitro and out of vitro, will be enfranchised. This will make it even easier for the fetuses of the world to be accepted as humans. Having a vote will prove beyond any doubt that they are alive and kicking. A spokesman for the movement when asked how babies not yet born will be given the voting document said "These plans are still a secret in case other groups copy our strategies. We will reveal all a few days before the elections are held.”
NOTA BENE
All the above is the fruit of fantasy bar the Joseph Muscat one. Well we do have to have one dreamer amongst us to keep us on our toes.