A choice of violence or rape

Rape is often on the agenda for discussion by women’s organisations. It is usually dealt with from the woman’s perspective as a victim and the work involved to always provide a sounder and more holistic support network to women who have undergone such a traumatic experience. The sensitivity and individuality of the cases is undisputed and all stakeholders involved in such a delicate healing process deserve our support and access to all possible resources.

… a no is a no, always and everywhere, even if dressed in a mini skirt and stiletto heels- Caroline Galea

The recent court case whereby three males were found not guilty of raping a young lady in Senglea raises the thorny subject of consent and women’s rights where legislation for rape is concerned. I am no legal expert but where rape is concerned the law talks about the introduction or penetration of the male organ. Violence or physical assaults come a second close as lawyers and prosecutors try to get a conviction or acquittal for their clients. What prosecutors and defence councils need to keep foremost in mind is that when a woman finds herself in an unpleasant situation it is often a frightening decision to allow an unwanted invasion of her body rather than being beaten up and abandoned on a deserted beach or road in the middle of the night.

Dealing with unwanted male attention is part of being a woman and as a young girl grows up she finds herself refining those skills necessary to predict and avoid situations which could put her at risk of being “unsafe”. Women can be “unsafe” practically everywhere, in bars, restaurants, taxis, buses, deserted beaches and even in their own homes. It is a well-known fact that often women give in to sex against their will to avoid a violent attack. She has no choice, it’s going to happen whether she agrees to it or not, there is no help within calling distance and so the best option is to go through with it. Fast forward to later or possibly the next day and the woman is facing the harsh reality of what has happened and debating whether to file a report or not.

Surveys have shown that a large percentage of women opt not to report because of shame, embarrassment and fear and also because of a lack of trust in the system. Because after all the DNAs and medical examinations have proven or disproven the theories brought forward, the spotlight still falls foursquare on trying to prove consent or otherwise. And in the majority of cases, it’s the perpetrator’s and the victim’s words against each other immersed in a jungle of legal definitions and perceptions.

Maybe the offence of rape should be abolished and varying degrees of gravity of an assault of a sexual nature be introduced. In this way we will never again have to face situations where the legal system pronounces whether a woman was raped or not, whether she consented or not. If it is proven that a sexual assault took place then at least in some cases the Court can determine the degree of gravity while safeguarding the woman’s honour and the man’s claims to innocence.

A woman’s perception of which bit of the assault is worse may be different to what lawyers may expect. Women who have been raped describe this as a “life-defining” experience. Rape may be commonly associated with the loss of virginity, physical assault and possible unwanted pregnancy but it also has a lot to do with violation and the honour of the woman and her family. As with all trauma and threats in life the best course of action would be prevention. Young girls are at times in circumstances which in my opinion have a high risk of leading to an “unsafe situation”. Females draw attention from males and it is up to the woman to ensure that she is always “safe”. Even the most formidable male puller has to learn the skills to know when to retreat.

We have all heard of how the drunken fumbles of teenagers can end in tears. This has nothing to do with how sexually active or not a woman is but of educating young girls to the risk of putting themselves in unsavoury situations. Admittedly it is difficult to identify that crucial moment when flirtations stop and the shocking horror of what is about to happen suddenly dawns on the woman. But a no is a no, always and everywhere, even if dressed in a mini skirt and stiletto heels!

Of course, it’s important to remember that very few men are rapists and the absolute majority of them are decent and kind. Men should be taught to respect women and women’s decisions and women should be educated on how to avoid dangerous situations and handle difficult moments. Maybe such a concerted effort would see fewer rape cases reach our courts!

info@carolinegalea.com