Girl torn between families

B Cassbern

Apr 25th 2012, 22:53

Take it to European courts!!!!! Get your baby back!!!

Andrea Giallombardo

Apr 25th 2012, 18:50

what kind of argument is this? if the biological parents are not abusive or anything then they should have the right to take care and raise their own child! I agree that the child might need some professional help in adjusting to a new country and all that, but this legal battle is definitely going to push more pressure onto the poor child. The child is young and she has the chance to adapt much quicker and easier than her parents will in a foreign country.

Ms AMANDA O'DEA

Apr 25th 2012, 08:31

Our thoughts are with you this morning Jane.

Clarissa if it happens that you are taken away from us I pray that you will be happy. I write this on the paper so that one day if you ever happen to look back and research your past it will all be documented. We love you pupa.

Ms. P.M Graham

Apr 24th 2012, 19:47

Unlike many here I do actually read through comments before adding my two cents worth.

This is a horrible, horrible situation for all involved. For Clarissa more so.

Here we have a Mother who has taken full advantage of the generosity of Jane and now because seemingly Switzerland will only repatriate them with an extra child Clarissa is being homed in. Something actually doesn’t ring true about that however. It also doesn’t ring true that none of the authorities were aware of this child being “fostered” by Jane. Surely school registration, vaccinations, doctors etc all need parental permission or a letter to that effect. I diverse.

What if any assessments have been done on this mother to ascertain whether or not she is capable of being a Mother to Clarissa? (and before someone asks what assessments were done on Jane, I think she has more than proved herself)

If we are to believe the comments below from those in the know, the siblings are left home alone as it is.

What happens if this child is taken from Jane, repatriated to Switzerland and the Swiss authorities decide that not only Clarissa but the other children should be fostered?? Will Clarissa just go to yet another home and adjust because after all she is still only a child?

It’s not all cut and dry that Clarissa will go with her family to Switzerland and live happily ever after and if it is decided she go then I’m sorry but she needs time to adjust surrounded by those who obviously love her.

Jos Falzon

Apr 24th 2012, 18:37

OMG can you all read story properly before posting nasty comments. This isnt about Jane wanting to keep Clarissa....its stated clearly that she just wants the best for Clarissa in terms of giving her proper help for her move to start another life. She has given her the proper upbringing for the 5 past years and now wants to make sure that this little girl she brought up is well looked after......so please get your facts right before commenting.......i would be disgusted at how the police handled the matter and nothing else. I pray for this little girl to be happy and safe cause ultimately that is the most important.

yani ellul

Apr 24th 2012, 18:15

It is very sad to hear such a story..... Whilst understanding that the law is the law and rules are rules, the authorities should look at such cases on individual merit! I know jane, and jane and i have had our differences in the past and i cant consider myself to be a friend of hers, but one thing is for sure.... Clarissa will definitely be better off with jane, as whoever knows her knows that the values, upbringing, education and opportunites the child has and will be given under jane's custody will be much more than even many maltese people have to chance of getting! Clarissa is an extremely lucky girl and both the authorities and her family should be happy about the situation clarissa is in! Whoever is involved should look at the childs future and wellbeing. Give her the chance to live the life everyone should be living, the chance is now, dont deny her this golden opportunity. It really is an opportunity of a lifetime for the child! Gluck

Lexi Busuttil

Apr 24th 2012, 18:12

People making uninformed criticisms please stop judging.... if you've never been in the position how can you possibly judge a woman for loving a child? for accepting this child as her own when the childs own family didn't? It is a very difficult situation and everybody knows ESPECIALLY Jane.... Just be a bit considerate rather than giving your opinion just because you have one.

Ms maria bonnici

Apr 24th 2012, 17:21

dak li jigri meta taghmel pjacir, no fostering just adopt,,,,, meta ma jistghux izommuhom jaghtuhomlok, umbaghad meta joghobhom johduhomlok,,,,, u qed tigri spiss, il karita tfisser ugigh tal qalb

tracy pitre

Apr 24th 2012, 17:15

This is such a sad story....The awful truth of the matter is that the only reason this family want their daughter back is due to the fact that they will not be able to be transferred to Swizerland ....This child has been given the best upbringing from this woman who has cared and loved her as if she were her own .Does this not count???? Its so easy for someone to say this is not your child just accept it and move on ...Their are serious matters to be addressed ...The bond that the child has with Jane and also who is to say if the child's parents are willing to take good care of her once they are out of the country .....They weren't able to do so while they were living here... !!!! They accepted gladly to let Jane bring their daughter up ... SO WHY TAKE HER AWAY FROM A LOVING WOMAN WHO HAS GIVEN EVERYTHING FOR THIS YOUNG INNOCENT GIRL ....

Steve Pace

Apr 24th 2012, 16:43

This story just confirms my personal reservations on fostering. It is a totally grey area and although it is presented as an ideal way to help children and families in need of help , it actually is a system whereby generous altruistic people like "Jane" end up being exploited . In many cases children who are residing in institutes are not given up for adoption by their biological parents for a variety of selfish reasons and instead they consent fostering. The reasons may vary but i have met people who had sensed that certain materialistic demands by the children were originating from their biological parents !

In comments like Marica lewis "Jane Let go, the child is not yours, you offered to help not to take. Your deed is done. No one asked you to spend money that was your choice. " a deeply disturbing reality comes out. A message of mind your own business next time is loud and clear. How sad ... especially considering some people boast of their Christian beliefs !

mary borg

Apr 24th 2012, 16:07

If she wanted to be a lifetime mother, Jane should have adopted. I'm sure she knew from the very first day that she will never be able to keep the child and every penny spent would be out of her free will. As a foster carer it was up to her to keep a certain distance from the child since she knew that the family would eventually move to another country. Poor child didn't know anything! And now it's worse for her too!

Andrew Azzopardi

Apr 24th 2012, 16:04

@Charles Sammut

What are you basing your comments on? Children need to have their needs met whatever their cultural background. If the family was Maltese and abandoned their child for 5 years we would not even be having this discussion because Appogg would (hopefully) be involved. Unfortunately this was an unregulated foster placement which is the problem. If someone bothers to speak to the child to ascertain her wishes and feelings the judge will be in a better position to take a decision. 

It is extremely abusive that the police put the child in a position to choose who she wants to live with in the presence of her mother and her foster carer. This is outrageous and extremely abusive to the child. It goes to show how child-centred the police are. The child needs to be 'free' to express her wishes and feelings without suffering from emotional blackmail. 

One thing is for sure - the child is the one and only loser in this case. It is extremely sad. 

Marica Lewis

Apr 24th 2012, 15:39

Jane Let go, the child is not yours, you offered to help not to take. Your deed is done. No one asked you to spend money that was your choice. All the good work you have done is now disappearing. You fostered not adopted. Have you thought how the parents might feel? The child is not yours and yes you are now being selfish.

Lina Caruana

Apr 24th 2012, 14:41

This just playing with a child's emotion who cannot distinguish between a blood tie and a deeply caring guardian

Joanne Micallef

Apr 24th 2012, 14:19

Poor child, so none of the authorities whilst reviewing the migrants case for relocation every thought that a 5 year old child was to from one day to another abandon all she knows ( home, school, friends, way of life ) to go live in a different country with a bunch of strangers????

phyllis butler

Apr 24th 2012, 13:59

I think that as the months pass it will be even harder for the foster mother to let go and she certainly has done everything in her power to give the best (ballet, gymnastics etc.) to the child, however, she always knew that all this was done on borrowed time. I am presuming that at no time did the biological parents discuss an adoption? One thing that consoles me is that I am sure that the Swiss Authorities will be monitoring this family, especially this particular child, thus ensuring that she will be happy in her new environment.

Ms Christine Micallef

Apr 24th 2012, 13:58

It is very clear that Jane is not being selfish here!! She is just protecting the poor kid. I admire you Jane. The time, energy and financial sacrifices you did for this child in the past 5 years - like she was your own - is something beyond belief. Keep fighting for Clarissa's interests until the end.

Camille Pitre'

Apr 24th 2012, 13:47

The child has been brought up by the Maltese woman. It's Jane the mother that Clarissa recognizes. She should at least have the right to choose whether she wants to continue the life she is used to, carry on her education and retain the family she was brought up to love. Jane doesn't want to appropriate herself of the child, but continue raising her and educating her in the way she is used to and deserves!!!!

J. J. Borg

Apr 24th 2012, 13:40

"Eventually, an inspector asked Clarissa to choose who she wanted to live with, in the presence of Jane and her biological mother". Aside from the ridiculous idea that a five-year old gets to decide whether she should live with her biological parents or not, did it not cross this police officer 's mind that the police station may not be the appropriate place to decide legal disputes?

MARIO ATTARD

Apr 24th 2012, 13:16

This is nothing but reality, anyone who foster knows very well the end result. It is indeed very cruel but fostering persons should also be prepared and help for such a situations.

Anne Callus

Apr 24th 2012, 13:13

This is certainly not the first case. I myself know at least another two very similar cases where the foster parents chose not to take the legal path because they feared that they would then lose all contact with the child. What is being said here is very correct. These parents come to Malta pregnant or with newborns, they hand them over to charitable Maltese families who do their utmost to give them the best of the best (best clothing, best education etc). They visit whenever they feel like it and, more often than not, when they take the children with them, the children come back sick (because they would then get adjusted to the foster parents' way of living and most of all eating. Whilst in Malta they would then have another one or two children and the one fine day the foster parents get the news that the child would be leaving to resettle in another country with no say whatsoever. You can all imagine that their hearts break into a million pieces but they have to let go, knowing full well that their kids would not face an easy life when settled in another country, because they almost always suffer hardship until they settle down. The children cannot be left in Malta because the parents get chosen on the basis of their vulnerability and the more children you have, the better chance you get to get chosen. There is much much more to say on this phenomenon but only who is or was truly in such a situation can feel what this parent is feeling.

Charlene Valentina Giordimaina

Apr 24th 2012, 12:46

Unfortunately the children always end up being the victims in society.

John Azzopoardi

Apr 24th 2012, 12:21

WEll, we all know that the child belong with the parents. Those who are acting as foster parents are doing so at their own risks. a five yearl old will adjust fine in a move. This is not the first or second case.

R. Caruana

Apr 24th 2012, 12:16

My heart goes out to this woman who has put so much effort in helping this girl but in the same way out of her love she should realize that this girl's place is now with her true parent since they should be able to provide for her. This woman's efforts will surely not go wasted on this girl & she may always remain a big figure in her life

J Galea

Apr 24th 2012, 11:02

My question is what the authorities were doing to properly monitor the case? Hopefully this was done.

Ms. P.M Graham

Apr 24th 2012, 10:56

From reading more comments here, one sees that there is definitely a whole lot more to this story.

This child needs for the time being, to be left where she is, at home with her foster mother and given a court appointed Guardian/Voice, not a lawyer, not a legal advisor not a psychologist checking boxes and columns and fitting her into a slot. An experienced person, preferably a parent completely impartial who can fully understand what Clarissa is experiencing and then present to the Court.

C. Dimech

Apr 24th 2012, 10:49

What a horrible thing to advise all caregivers to 'give back' the children they are taking care of!!! Who is treating them like mobile phones now??

Unfortunately fostering a child WHATEVER the nationality is a heart breaking endevour. I have yet to hear of one story that does not involve abusive parents that in the 1 day a month that they get to see the children they abandoned they undue all the good that the foster parents work so hard for.

I think that fostering in Malta should be revisited. However in this case that foster mother should do what is best for the child, and that is to allow her to have a better future with her family and not tear her away from her blood. It seems to me that she is creating half the trauma that she is accusing others of inflicting on this child!!!

B Attard

Apr 24th 2012, 10:32

Miskina din it-tifla ... u hafna ohra li ma nafux bihom f'pajjizna. Dawn kollha abbuzi mentali fuqha.

jane deguara

Apr 24th 2012, 10:30

good luck jane, and Good luck Clarissa. May the Courts listen to your wishes and feelings and decide based in your best interest and not the parent's human rights.

S.M. Cuschieri

Apr 24th 2012, 10:30

I cannot understand actually. This is not a case of abandonement by the birth mother, it is just a case where the actual mother needed help in caring for the child while she went to work. In fact the child opted for her mother in court. Insomma ma nafx. Min qieghed fil-borma jaf x'hemm. I think one should be aware before trying to foster these kids.

Ms AMANDA O'DEA

Apr 24th 2012, 10:24

I am afraid I cannot speak openly and spill out all the beans. If only I could! How easily such a situation would be sorted! I wish the public to only consider one thing! The birth mother came to Malta with one son. She kept the son (who is just as adorable, believe me!) She remarried in Malta, had Clarissa, gave her "away" because she couldn't care for her and got pregnant again! I believe the youngest child is around 2 years old. No one minds the children while she is at work. They are left home alone. Clarissa was the lucky one for 5 years. She was loved and protected...for a while

Ms AMANDA O'DEA

Apr 24th 2012, 10:00

I know Clarissa and Jane very well and I also know the birth mother. I am disgusted at how horribly things have twisted around. Jane is the only person in the world who is concerned about Clarissa. To the judge who will decide Clarissa's faith .... know one thing 2 days are not enough to make such a decision. The child has always lived with Jane. Jane's parents and siblings are Clarissa's Nanna, Nannu, Aunty and Uncle. You are snatching a 5 year old child away from a life she loves. Think about the child before anyone else. Get social workers to follow up on the family and on Clarissa and then decide. PLEASE LISTEN TO CLARISSA!!

M Cassar

Apr 24th 2012, 09:41

''She also wants this story to warn people in her position who think they are doing a good deed by caring for migrant children.''

Perhaps the crux of the matter is that one volunteers to help and not to take possession of the child. Of course the fact that no paperwork was carried out might indicate that no discussion of what this help entailed was undertaken either. Are volunteers trained in what constitutes help and what constitues abuse of their role, before they are given access to vulnerable groups?

I wonder what the child calls the volunteer. This would be a good indication of whether everyone's feet were still firmly grounded in reality with the best interest of the child in mind?

Pierre Mangion

Apr 24th 2012, 09:40

“Had this been done within a legal framework, the whole discussion would not have arisen,” he said, warning there were “many” similar cases where laws were being “sidelined”. this is the basis of this tragedy.

do the competent authorities (if any) have the powers and means to adopt and implement the necessary legislation? Or are they just made to survive as "bodies" with mere resources and budgets because attention is being diverted onto matters? unfortunately we spend millions in non-sense projects whereas entities that should be geared to protect society and help form a better one, are left stranded on their own.

i do not know the Jane* in person but have friends who know her and their own children who were brought up together with Clarissa*, and they have vented their frustration and sadness at this situation. Obviously the story being told by the biological family cannot be discounted either.

Andrew Azzopardi

Apr 24th 2012, 09:31

Neil Falzon is right. Children need security and permanence and arrangements outside fostering regulations and adoption are not in children's best interest. I am sure Jane went through a huge learning curve because of this. What sounds strange is that Jane does not seem to object Clarissa joining her family. She is insisting on this being done in a timely manner. This sounds perfectly right to me. The decisive factor is to assess the bond that exists between Clarissa and her birth parents. That is the job of a social worker.

The morale of the story is that children are not 'mobile phones' they need security and permanence. Taking care if a child is a life-long commitment and not an act of charity so make sure you have the right legal backing. Janet's heart seems in the right place as she is the only one who seems to be voicing the child's wishes and feelings but her learning curve is that she should have regulated Clarissa's stay with her through fostering or adoption. It sounds like the UNHCR did not complete appropriate assessments. Having worked with refugees and the UNHCR I am not surprised...

Good luck Clarissa. May the Courts listen to your wishes and feelings and decide based in your best interest and not the parent's human rights.