I am writing this after a seventy-five minute commute to the office this morning ruined all my Zen.

Spending over fifty minutes stuck in one spot on the B’Kara By-Pass – which, may I remind you, is roughly five kilometres long (I’m very bad at calculating distance, so it might be even less) - does very nasty things to one’s Zen.

I take attacks on my Zen very seriously. Particularly when it transpires that this attack was the result of some bureaucratic nincompoop’s failure to see any further than the tip of his nose. How else can you describe the decision to close off a ring-road that lies on one of the main, rush hour arteries?

By the time I arrived at the office and read on this website that the whole jam was caused “because of the closure of the hospital ring road for maintenance works - about which the staff were given notice”, I had run out of expletives. There was only one other option left to repair my Zen, so I took it. I made myself coffee and sat down to have a good rant, errr to offer some friendly advice to the powers that be.

First off make sure that whoever is vested with the all-important power of deciding which roads to close to traffic and when, is in possession of an IQ that at least matches that of a sleepy iguana. Once this small matter is cleared, it shouldn’t be too difficult to follow this idiot’s guide to zen-like road works:

* Close off a main artery only when rush hour is over. If these works had been carried out any time between 09:30 and 16:00, the traffic problems would have been halved.

* Even better, carry out the works during the night. Light up the area well, provide protective gear and the problem is sorted. With this option, chances are that less than 500 commuters would have been affected, as opposed to 60% (and this is a modest estimate) of the island.

* Issue a public announcement about these works. And by this, I don’t mean an internal memo to hospital staff. The Mater Dei ring road lies on one of the main arteries connecting those coming from the B’Kara side and beyond to San Gwann and beyond. Common sense tells us that it’s not only those on their way to Mater Dei that will be affected by its closure.

* Set up appropriate signage beyond the immediate area. Away from this blessed island, even minor road works get the full treatment with massive warning signs visible from miles away. Every single adjoining road and every single road that could potentially lead to the affected site typically boasts gigantic signs.

In Malta, on the other hand, we only find out about said traffic disruptions when we get to the office and decide to check the online news reports, in an effort to figure out why half the island was brought to a standstill.

To cut a long story short, the collective blood pressure of office commuters this morning would have been spared if only the authorities had seen their way to exercising some common sense.

But I guess I’m expecting too much, right?

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