Lucio Dalla’s muted homosexuality
Last Sunday, the people of Bologna gave a dignified and respectful burial to the artiste Lucio Dalla, with the final applause resounding in the city’s most important and most symbolical square, Piazza Grande.
The Catholic Church, by opening the doors of the Basilica of St Petronius, Bologna’s most famous and most majestic church, has received Lucio Dalla as a true son who had “an intense dialogue with God”, as his confessor, Padre Bernardo Boschi, said in his homily.
The rite of the funeral Mass was that of the traditional liturgy, the only departure coming at the end of the Mass, when Marco Alemanno – an actor, singer and photographer who was close to Dalla for many years – read the lyrics of his song, Le rondini (The swallows). Marco was with Dalla at Montreux the day he died.
As if to give expression to Dalla’s world of relationships and personal affections, the funeral oration delivered by Marco distressed but also refreshed the atmosphere of the old basilica and was received with a tremendous round of applause.
It was a declaration of love, true and authentic; an act that does not belong to any gender but to the most intimate human feelings. It was pure, resounding along the church’s nave and declaimed in front of God.
I was there, among the congregation inside the basilica, and I too wept when this young man, unable to hold back his tears, concluded with the words:
“Today, together with you, I can thank him”, without realising that for over 10 years he was Dalla’s silent and loving companion.
However, outside the church, from a Rai TV studio in Rome, an imprudent “committed” journalist, “ottimista e di sinistra”, revealed, with lucid and ruthless coldness, a way of life which Dalla had always jealously kept under wraps: his homosexuality.
With appalling incivility this journalist stated and revealed publicly that “Lucio Dalla was probably one of the most powerful examples of how being gay is dealt with in Italy. Everything’s fine and they hold a funeral for you in a cathedral with the full blessing of the Church if you do not say you are gay. After all, this seems to be the symbol of how permissive we are – as long as you look the other way.”
Apparently motivated by ideology and anticlericalism, from various quarters we are now seeing a violent public reproach to Dalla – most untimely, I would add, coming so soon after his death – on grounds of his homosexuality, which he lived far removed from the gay culture. A culture that is flaunted, ready at the slightest excuse to proclaim its sexual diversity with pride and even to claim a right to marriage.
Dalla kept his homosexuality private and never showed it, not even at home. Yet, on the very day of his funeral, we saw the launching of one of those fearsome attacks on the basic principles of humanity: respect for the person and for one’s circle of affection, even the most intimate and hidden.
Marco, with a simple “thank you”, broken by heartfelt sobbing, has freed us from so much hypocrisy. He had been presented as a “chorister”, “friend”, “colleague”, “close collaborator” and other ridiculous and embarrassing circumlocutions.
What is left after this inopportune polemic, instead, is a loving relationship denied but not repudiated, a homosexual love, a true and deep one to protect, sheltering it from any gay revenge acknowledging his legal right, asin this case, to inherit a part of Dalla’s estate.
Marco has been a faithful companion in a homosexual relationship, like so many others all over the world, which should be regularised according to the principle of mutual and recognised assistance. A symbol for obtaining a civil right that is quite different from gay marriage as demanded by an international coming out.
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Bill Khan
Mar 28th 2012, 17:04
What he did inside the four walls with men, women, chickens, gots or dogs was his own private life.
He is now gone and may he rest in peace. His companion should have kept quiet. But he did not and it seems he did not much respect or care for the dead man
Joe Xuereb
Mar 11th 2012, 12:42
@P. Bonnici(15:10). You make homosexuality sound like some terrible crime. Do yourself a favour and have a re-think.
@Mike Hunt. As far as I am concerned, religion is not on the menu. Sex, as an addiction is no better. Rampant sex, a free-for-all that is so many men's fantasy would be too destructive for words. For obvious reasons (obvious to me, but then I've done my homework).
@Paul Caruana. It is nice to come up with an ideal. The problem is that life is too short for us to stick around waiting for the ideal to happen. It might one day, and also, it might never come to pass. The alternative is the next best thing, and graspable while we are still here. This is through self-empowerment - have you noticed how someone further down resents our claiming our rights, adding that this can only lead to us asking for even more rights? Paranoia rules OK!
Self-empowerment is not easy but neither is it impossible (nothing worthwhile is ever easy, remember!). What works best for me is learning to take responsibility for what I do and say and THINK. And through observation - and this is very easy - I take a close look at the chinks in the armour of those who would attack me. One can see hints of this in most, if not all, my comments, here and elsewhere. An example follows.
A female who goes by the name of Sarah Muscat (15:26) claims that she has many homosexual friends with home she gets on fine and dandy. Except - wait for it! - she does not approve of their lifestyle. She patronises them like she did me, silly woman. Now to Ms. Muscat I can say two things. How would she like it if a friend told HER that they liked her very much but did not approve of her lifestyle (and with her implied view of relationships, corporal contact [to keep it clean] and so on, that could so easily happen)? She may claim to have as many good homosexual friends as she likes but in my book, if she were my friend, I'd soon tell her where to get off.
Which brings me to another point. She talks of friends with whom, I presume, she shares some positives like collecting paper-doilies (after all homosexuals are often known to be multi-talented).
Now for all I know, these gay friends she claims to have may well be sharing with her her ideals of celibacy, etc. In which case, they all deserve each other and good luck to them. If on the other hand, these homosexual friends are living their life and trying to survive like the rest of us, I wonder what Ms. Muscat sees in them? Maybe these people she describes as friends are not friends at all but rather people she spends the time of day with. There is a subtle difference. And by spending the time of day I do not mean doing so on street-corners gossiping and having a laugh. She does not sound quite like the type. Maybe she is using them for god knows what reason. The sexually repressed move in mysterious ways. Note the use of the word repressed. As opposed to sublimated (of our urges), which is desirable and a different thing altogether.
So, in a nutshell, I could never accept the Sarah Muscat's of this world, and the male equivalents, to patronise me and tell me that they do not approve of my lifestyle. How sweet! I could never because I know to much. I went to the trouble simply in order to survive (the likes of Sarah. To whom I bestow my sincerest wishes. Life is tough out there!).
Thanks to Paul and to Sarah for affording me the opportunity to yet again formulate on paper what I live by. I hope some others might find my hard-earned ramblings useful.
PS @Katya Cassola(15:44).. You are right of course. The deceased must be allowed to rest in peace if nothing else because they have no say in the matter. Signor Dalla was, and is a great artiste and his charisma will stick around for a long long time. However, his demise has also thrown up facet of the man previously not widely known. This, as far as I am concerned, makes the man interesting over and above his musicality and his frequent eccentric outpourings which I can now put in context.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X2OUPi-SOU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiZEAk2MvIQ
P Bonnici
Mar 10th 2012, 15:10
Dalla's partner was well out of order to reveal his sexuality at the funeral. It is very hurtful for the family.
Sexuality should be a private matter if so one wishes and this should be respected even after death.
No one should be outed by anyone, except for specific examples like secretly gay MPs who make homophobic statements, to mask their own sexuality or to curry favour with electors.
Mike Hunt
Mar 10th 2012, 08:52
The world would be such a better place if people had more sex and did less religion ...
Wilfred Camilleri
Mar 10th 2012, 17:21
Pathetic comment!
Paul Caruana
Mar 9th 2012, 18:01
In a truly civilised and tolerant society, a human being should never be judged according to his political or religious beliefs (unless these are of the inhuman extremist type), race, sex or sexual orientation.
This article shows just how far we are from reaching this ideal.
Joe Xuereb
Mar 9th 2012, 16:46
Sarah Muscat(15:19).. You have just committed, in my eyes at least, a grave mortal sin. How so?! You have patronised me when you dont know me from Adam. It may surprise you, you say. Lol!
You think I dont know what the Church's attitude to our god-given sexuality so that we will multiply and he will never need for followers and adulators? You really think I didn't know that the Church is so neurotic about our sexuality blah blah blah see two lines up? To the extent that it forbids its clerics to have anything to do with anybody, corporally speaking. Now listen Sarah. You know, and I know, that the Church expects its members to STAY CLEAN clean until such times they find a mate. And when this happens, the couple should stay together, have as many children as they can afford (with me, a homosexual taxpayer contributing towards their Children's Benefits) and must seek no congress with anyone other their than beloved - and not even thinking of a third party while on the job - until they close their eyes for the last time. Of course this is Churchy diktat that runs counter to how Nature operates. Proof of this is all around us. Including this social phenomenon we call homosexuality and its sister sexuality, heterosexuality. Hetero- from the Greek hetero, meaning different. As opposed to homo- again from the Greek meaning same (this contrary to a well-known doctor who likes to comment on such matters and insists that homo- is from Latin meaning man. From this he gets homophobic which, according to him, is what gays call heteros thus accusing them of being haters of mankind. Talk about turning the tables by means of devious machinations to fit in with one's bigotry, so transparent. But there you are! Some doctors in Malta, ay! Even vets are at it.
Now dont you go thinking that I am suggesting we behave like animals (which we are, incidentally). No, behaving like animals is very detrimental to animals never mind the human kinds. So, we need to be told WHY we must not behave like animals and then we wont err again. It empowers people through knowledge. The current model is dont do this or that, and if you obey - no questions, not allowed! - you will forever be with me in Paradiso. That is a Old Testament not to my liking. So if the Church wont educate me, I'll have to educate myself won't I, Ms. Muscat?!
* This is where it gets a bit sticky Ms. Muscat. If a donor endows me with something this is ultimately beneficial to the donor (we're talking population growth here); and tells me how to use it strictly by HIS rules, then obviously I am going to rebel. If it causes me pain and discomfort and the donor still insists that I do it his way, then I have no option but to rebel and indeed I might prefer to be celibate. And that is the paradox. I am doing what the donor wants but we both approach the matter through a different door. It is called yet again, a god-given reasoned philosophy.
Joe Xuereb
Mar 9th 2012, 15:49
@Michael Debono. Heterosexual people do not show their heterosexuality you say?! What shallow thinking! They talk about nothing else. Think about it Debono. You CAN think can't you?
We all know that many, many homosexuals live a secret life, euphemistically known as keeping their private lives private. Lucio Dalla was one of them. However, he was a high profile character in the entertainment world and as such, it was not in his interest, among other reasons, to be open about his proclivities. Not if he wanted to hold his fans attentions (numbering, among the millions, many young women whom he sang about. 'Gl'occhi verdi come il mare' was about a young woman's eyes not a young man's. Get it?! Lucio Dalla’s muted homosexuality. That's an understatement, you don't say!!
@A.Vella(today 12:19). Mr.?/Ms? You would have to be a homosexual seeking your freedom to be to realise how idiotic your assertion is. OK! I'll make it easier for you, just this once. How would YOU feel, Vella, if you were not allowed to declare your heterosexuality, ever?!
The world is full of homosexuals in high positions who keep their homosexuality under wraps. They fear loss of whatever they are invested in that depends, in the case of men, on their heterosexuality, their middle-class-ness, their Christianity, and their whiteness. Lacking any of these and they stand to lose big time. Hence the secrecy. Of course they are very quick to point out that their sexuality is a private matter and nobody's business. Convince me! And that heterosexuals dont go around telling all and sundry what they do in bed(well, they do in fact but that's another issue). More importantly, what they are saying is like shooting themselves in the foot. Meaning, unwittingly or through sheer ignorance, they are reducing their homosexuality to what they do with their partners, if they get lucky, under the sheets, privately. Which means they miss the point entirely. My homosexuality is much, much more than what I do in my bedroom - or the kitchen or some none too clean Turkish hamam in downtown Istanbul (no big deal, sex is filthy and that is why people like Vella here probably jaqbdu bil-karta). By the same token, I would hope that heterosexual men and women too are more than their sexual expression. It is for them to find out what I mean. I have enough on my plate to be much bothered with their problems, their shenanigans. As long as they do not step on my toes, I will not step on theirs. Is it a deal?! It is a deal. We are all mature people here, even Vella, and not forgetting Debono. Aren't they?
Before I go. Umberto Bindi, he of 'Il nostro concerto' fame was homosexual too albeit not so careful with its mutedness. He paid the price. He died, alone and impoverished. And now largely forgotten.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umberto_Bindi
Katya Cassola
Mar 9th 2012, 15:44
I'd suggest he is left in peace, after his death.
It's was his life and he had every right to choose how to live it. Amen!!!
Mr Joseph Carmel Chetcuti
Mar 10th 2012, 02:01
Not when his homosexuality was 'muted' which makes him no less a homosexual. I am all in favour of him resting in peace as a homosexual but not as a pretend heterosexual. That would not be resting in peace.
Sarah Muscat
Mar 9th 2012, 15:26
I have good friends who are homosexual. I have no problem with them being homosexual. It is never an issue for me at all. I do not agree with their lifestyle but that hardly makes me homophobic.
What is very wrong with the gay movement in Malta is that they seem to be trying to create a situation where one must agree with the lifestyle without reserve. They want their lifestyle to be on a par with marriages between men and women. To my mind, this is dangerous campaigning.
Joe Xuereb
Mar 9th 2012, 13:00
This is the very first we heard of Dalla's demise.
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20120301/world/lucio-dalla.409236
The good doctor Geoffrey Schembri Adami who treats animals, thought it fit to inform us that Dalla was a practising Catholic and affiliated to the very secretive Opus Dei. But he kept his mouth shut about Dalla's homosexuality. I wonder why? May he kept his mouth shut for the same reasons that Dalla did(ie religion is fine but homosexuality is a no-no).
I had never heard of Lucio's homosexuality. To me his Caruso was sublime and that was enough (I have better things to do other than obsess about pop music). Then I heard that Lucio was, in fact, gay. Before I responded to the vet's contribution I had to do my own research, to be sure. I found it on the wonderful WWW(god forbid that I should taint somebody's name and reputation with claims of homosexuality when in fact they were perfectly normal - don't you just love that word?!).
d now here, straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak.
Debono, back to you. You sound like you would prefer homosexuals to keep their mouths shut. Is this because their homosexuality makes you feel uncomfortable, angry, confused, disgusted. Maybe it churns up latent homosexual feelings in yourself? We create our own feelings Michael.
Sadly(for you), all these negative feelings are detrimental to your wellbeing. And me, untouched and unscathed and unfazed by your disapproval. You see, I am not in the entertainment business, I do not have to rely on fans for my income. I am free and proud (because Im not supposed to be) and openly homosexual. If you can not handle my honesty that is so much your problem and nothing to do with me. Let go of any negativity based on ignorance and you will feel better. And you will be a better man. Simple!
I am aware all this rather goes against the popular grain of Maltese thinking (obsessed with death and one does not speak ill of the dead). Who is speaking ill of the dead? Lucio Dalla is now released from a world steeped in hypocrisy, and not without more than a bit of his own collusion.
In sum, Lucio Dalla was a world famous entertainer with a phenomenal talent to woo the crowds, young women especially. He was also, interestingly a closet homosexual, a practising Catholic(presumably he received the Eucharist having confessed his sins and promising not to sin again - that's how it goes!) and, wonder of wonders! he was affiliated to Opus Dei. Now, never mind his genius. I am now more interested in how the man married his public persona to his beliefs and to Opus Dei. The mind boggles.
It is a pity that I have come to know of Dalla's homosexuality (damn you friend). From now on, listening to 'Caruso' will not be the same again. I can just about imagine how many women will be feeling.
Sarah Muscat
Mar 9th 2012, 15:19
Mr Xuereb, it may surprise you that the Church does not condemn homosexuals as it does not condemn heterosexuals. It objects to the sexual act in both circumstances.
Emma Xerri
Mar 9th 2012, 18:30
By the same token, you must also find it hard to enjoy any paintings and art by Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Carravagio, Rafael and Cellini also.
I love the song 'Caruso' and Dalla being a homosexual will in no way diminish my enjoyment of this woderful song.
Mr Joseph Carmel Chetcuti
Mar 9th 2012, 22:11
Sarah, it may surprise you but it is not possible to take away a person's sexuality from his being just as it is not possible to take away your gender (presumably you were born a woman) from your being. Sexuality is not like religion that someone can embrace or reject. You are or you are not a homosexual. Catholic theology allows heterosexuals some room to channel their sexuality, homosexuals are not accorded the same opportunity. What the Church really wants are hypocrites. If Dalla was a member of Opus Dei and maintained, in public at least, that he was a good practising Catholic, then there is only one conclusion to be drawn - he was a hypocrite!
Wilfred Camilleri
Mar 10th 2012, 17:30
Mr, Cethcuti, said it is not possible to take away a person's sexuality from his being! What? Sexuality is not the same as gender. Most people are able to exercise control over their sexuality. Many people who stay single all their lives, control their sexuality. The Catholic Church has a single teaching about a person being involved in sexual activities when they are not married and it applies equally to homosexuals and heterosexuals. Contrary to your inane claim, the Church doesn't want any hypocrites; it just wants people who believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ. If you can't understand that simple fax, what more can anyone say?
Mr Joseph Carmel Chetcuti
Mar 10th 2012, 20:04
Dear Wilfred, exercising control (as you put it) does not take away a person's sexuality. You are confusing sexuality with sexual behaviour, not an uncommon trait among the bigoted. As to your Church's teacehings, you can keep them. I disagree with them. As far as Catholic teaching is concerned, there are three grounds for marriage: procreation, the union of two persons and control of concupiscence. Incidentally the marriage between Mary and Joseph seems to have floundered on all three given that Jesus was not his son, and Mary and Joseph remained virgins. What does the Church offer homosexuals by way of controlling concupiscence? It does offer an option to heterosexuals - marriage. You cannot claim that the Church treats homosexuals and heterosexuals equally because homosexuals are not allowed to have a Church wedding. Sexual behaviour is and can be a celebration of one's sexuality. The world has moved on and, with respect, it is a pity that you and your Church are a few centuries behind the times!
A Vella
Mar 9th 2012, 12:19
This is one of the best opinion pieces ever read. I believe every relationship should have its own choice whether to be kept private or not. And it is a repetitive tendency that minor rights groups tend to want to stay in the limelight after their goals are achieved and at times they become more exteme than their original objectors that discriminated upon them.
Mr Joseph Carmel Chetcuti
Mar 9th 2012, 10:26
Living a life away from 'gay culture', as you put it, makes him no less a homosexual. Gay men and lesbians own their history and should not be afraid to point to, research and write about a person's homosexual orientation. We are tired of being hypocrites and accepting as normal what other homosexuals think is their right to their privacy which privacy oppresses our collective freedom and reinforces heteronormativity. We do not appreciate those who expect us to be prudent about our or their homosexuality especially when their homosexuality is an open secret. How could he have concealed his love when his lover is on stage declaring his love towards him? It absolutely defies logic.
Mr Michael Debono
Mar 9th 2012, 11:51
Homosexuality demands privacy so why give so much publicity by organising marches or demonstrations. Even married couples don't go out publicising their family position. Private life should remain private. Lucio Dalla is an example.
Andy Farrugia
Mar 9th 2012, 15:10
It is none of your business, J C Chetcuti, and no one else's business how Lucio Dalla decided to live his sexual orientation. Let us hope that some ordinary critters at least have some respect for the dead, though I seriously doubt it. Beyond the pale.
William Flynn
Mar 10th 2012, 10:33
If Andy Farrugia is going to mention "critters" he can't say "ordinary" but "ornery".
Critters? What's this Rio Gulch Ranch?
Claire Busuttil
Mar 9th 2012, 09:37
unfortunately the words of this juornalist are correct, and very true. However I agree with you, that since lucio dalla, kept his sexual orientation privetley, as such must have been kept after his death......especially at his funeral.
Sarah Muscat
Mar 9th 2012, 15:20
I have to agree with Ms Busuttil on this completely.
Please choose the reason of your report below: