Lots of time to grow up

Amante Reale

Mar 6th 2012, 14:13

This, I believe, is yet another aspect of the gender roles imposed on children. Boys play with cars and soldiers, girls play with prams and baby dolls. God forbid a girl wants to wear pants instead of a skirt. That's just not natural, is it? So parents dress their girls in "sexualized, female clothing" to make sure she grows up to be "100% woman" (whatever the hell that means).

Joe Xuereb

Mar 6th 2012, 01:38

Apologies. In my last comment, last line.....his is understandable should read THIS is understandable.

@Joseph A. Borg. I imagine bringing up children must be horrendously difficult(I say this as I am familiar with watching children's development and learning to look at the world through their eyes because I have been there. I have none of my own, however, so I dont know what it is large round the clock). Especially difficult for conscientious people like yourself who must be asking yourself all the time, am I doing/saying the right thing? Unlike so many who are very good at siring children but from then on, leave them much to their own devices other than when admiring them as playthings. Which is not necessarily a bad thing; Maltese children are cuddled a lot and they grow up to be tactile, not afraid of body contact. This as opposed to some nations where children are just that, not much drooling over them, the extended family spread of hundreds if not thousand of miles. They grow up to be cold and uncommunicative, calculating and controlling. There is an upside and a downside to everything I'm afraid. We can only do what we think is best. But think, that we must.


An afterthought. Little girls and little boys emulating mummy and daddy, never mind little boys emulating mummy, is perfectly normal. It is when parents force the emulation that it becomes of dubious value. I am thinking of beauty contests so popular in America, for girls who are miniature Dolly Parton's!!! I don't think the equivalent for boys exist; not yet anyway.

Joe Xuereb

Mar 5th 2012, 12:12

In Malta particularly, children are treated like toys, and in public, they are mascots.
Little girls everywhere are socialised into the mothering role by being given a cute doll and pram and this continues when eventually, she gets to hold the real thing. Babies are seen as cute little things, and rightly so (in a dwindling population, a child is indeed an achievement). But in Malta at least, I have noticed that the cute-factor only lasts as long as the child is the latest born. The minute another cute sibling comes along, the older sibling loses its cachet. It has been supplanted by a younger cutie. Now, before anyone accuses me that all children are loved, may I add. Of course they are. But as long as we treat children as delightful looking toys, it is always the latest arrival that wins hands down. And people preferring boy-toys over girl-toys over boy-toys is not a figment of the imagination. Relegated to the status of a toy, his is understandable.

Joseph A Borg

Mar 5th 2012, 09:34

could it be a case of kids that are attracted to grown up appearances? I would like to think of childhood as being innocent and uniform, that kids are born with a blank slate and grow up from innocence but it's certainly not the case.

If anything I would assume that this kid's parents find her antics cute and encourage her, which is not healthy. Kids that are so focused and driven on something will do it no matter what. As a parent I'd take the strategy of helping the offspring to make age appropriate, informed, safe and healthy choices without creating taboos, bogeymen or unhealthy repressions. A bit difficult but doable if the parents have time for their kids as they take a long time to grow…

Claudette Hidayathullah

Mar 5th 2012, 07:35

I fully agree with you Alison. Thanks for bringing up the subject. I want to add in another situation which you can come across and as a mum it bothers me sooo much! Why do parents dress up their kids, (especially girls) in a tight, low waisted pair of trousers or a short mini skirt, when they are taking them to the park? Usually the child is not comfortable in these clothes while on the swings or on the slides, the pants keeps coming down. Or they don't have enough room to lift up their legs to climb the steps!

I think sometimes some parents just want to show-off their fashion taste thru' their children and don't care if the kid is comfortable or not.

Joe Xuereb

Mar 4th 2012, 23:44

I would like to think that this extreme example of a girl child's sexualisation is not all that common. However, that young girls are sexualised in more subtle(?), less obvious(?) ways is. This is ironic when one sees the very strong reactions a mere suggestion that gay people should adopt children as they would be a bad influence, bad role-models.

There has been an ongoing debate on Facebook all about breast-feeding, weaning, feeding in public, and so on. The theme was picked up a few days ago in a London newspapers where the columnist stated that, surely men should be mature enough to admire the female form by all means but also remember the primary purpose for the female breast. OK, it's all very well for me to say this but doesn't an impartial opinion count for anything? Meaning! mature enough ain't good enough. Much better to be truly mature and see female breasts as a feeding source for infants, period! It is my opinion that many of the problems that beset relationships these days - and since forever?! - which spill over into all kinds of addictions to buffer this painful, tough-to-handle man-created phenomenon: I am thinking of course of the fetishising of body-parts that are rendered so purely to feed Man's pleasure and hedonistic practices, and that otherwise have nothing to do with the procreative process. I can hear a heterosexual male defending himself, saying, ah yes! but my involvement leads to conception. Problem is, conception achieved - silly woman! - you don't see him for dust. And then they have the cheek to call me abnormal. And the average homosexual's hedonistic lifestyle (rakes and gay men have SO MUCH in common. As in, men may be gay but they are still socialised as het men. And worse, in that what is seen as deplorable behaviour in heterosexual males is often idealised and rendered desirable within the gay community. Particularly with the fascistic body-image where, unless one is pumped up and inked, one is not marketable. How sad! How 'missing-the-point'!

By default (i.e., vis-à-vis male heterosexuality), I luxuriate in my exulted homosexual state, saying, 'there but for the grace of god go I!'. Rigid dualism, I think, is odious but it strikes me that men are either doers-and-runners (as in bad news) or decently settled/wed, with procreation ALWAYS on their mind (no condoms) and clinically, thinking of rewards to come. I am not sure I much care to be either guy. I'd rather be where I'm at, and celibate.

Jean-Pierre Aquilina

Mar 4th 2012, 22:13

My seven year old daughter came home a couple of weeks ago and told me that her class mate (a seven year old girl as well) watched the video "Sexy and I know it" on YouTube. I laughed when I watched it - but I am way past my prime. It is no wonder then that some seven year olds dress up like slutty women and begin to think and act like one. It is rather sad that their parents are reckless with their upbringing, thinking that they are going to be the next GaGa or Beyonce,and hit the jackpot by the time they reach 8.

Charles Vincent Vella

Mar 4th 2012, 16:50

Hello Ms Bezzina............I'm (male)from Canada and came across your article. I agree with you 100%. That is what I call irresponsible parenting. A seven year old should be dressed and act like a seven year old and not like a slut. I blame the parents as sometimes they just go over the top. These are parents behaving badly.

Your last paragraph is quite true and it has been proven.

And a big NO you are not an uptight person. You are a good example of what parents, fathers/mothers should be, reflecting their best behaviour when raising children.

From Canada.............thank you !

Tanja Cilia

Mar 4th 2012, 12:32

Is there a LIKE button for this? What about the (soft) stiletto heels for... babies under one year old, sold as "fun stuff"? What about pole dancing kits for children? What about tanning sessions and hair extensions? http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20110513/blogs/do-you-think-i-m-sexy.365188 What about parents who take on a second job - I kid you not! - to pay for their child's modelling lessons and assorted clothes and photo-shoots? No wonder so many twenty-somethings are jaded - they've been there, done that, and discarded the t-shirt because it has - horror! - sleeves...