Two parts dishonest, three parts stupid

No, I'm not talking about our beloved politicians for a change. I'm referring to the way I'd describe our genetic make-up, at a pinch. I use the word "our" loosely, of course, by dint of the fact that I happen to share the same passport as you lot. A fact I'm okay with on most days.

Then there are days when I remember how half a dozen local government/industry officials were recently hauled to court on a charge of attempting to defraud the EU big boys out of several thousand Euros. Allegedly, of course.

Anyone remember the story? It happened but a few weeks ago. And yet there is no public outcry from the usual media suspects. Not a peep was heard from the relevant authorities, except for a rather mystifying declaration by the Minister for Local Councils that "this is a private matter".

The story died a fast death, almost as if we are so used to this sort of thing that it's not worth any comment. Which in fact, we are. On days when I'm faced with this display of apathy from our nation, I roll my eyes and wonder where it was that our ancestors went wrong. So bear with me while I pour my righteous scorn on the way a handful of public officials are accused of pulling a fast one over the big bureaucratic beast that is the European Commission without raising as much as an eyebrow from their voters.

The only thing I'm unsure of is whether my righteousness should be directed at this bunch's (alleged!) dishonesty or at the totally moronic way they chose to give vent to said (alleged!) dishonesty. I mean seriously, in which world can anyone inflate expenses to such a ridiculous extent and on a pretty regular basis without people noticing? Or did they think that vague and nebulous entity, the European Commission, would happily pay up without question? After all, the money belongs to no-one right?

This is a phenomenon that seems to be ingrained in our nation's collective psyche: stealing money from an organisation – or better still, from the government – is perfectly okay because it belongs to no-one. I've always found this attitude extremely weird, particularly when you bear in mind that the majority of the population is supposed to have had a Catholic upbringing.

But apparently the eighth commandment comes with a loophole: feel free to defraud the authorities out of any amount of cash you like, no-one will miss it anyway. It is very rare that I encounter a fellow Maltese who wouldn't be happy to stick it to the system.

So that explains the two parts dishonesty. By now I'm sure you've figured out the three parts stupidity too. I'd love to be able to conduct some loud tsk tsking at the fraud part while secretly admiring the daring ingeniousness of it all. After all, I appreciate a good heist as much as the next gal. But no. The scheme is as stupid as it is dishonest. Stupidity seems to be a trait common to most local, would-be criminals.

Daily court reports reveal a dreary stream of petty and not very well thought out crimes that would be hilarious if only the consequences didn't actually cause damage to the rest of us.

A few examples are in order. We have the scores of youngsters who, whenever there's some big party happening get caught with less than savoury substances in their pockets. The fact that everyone knows to expect police presence at these events doesn't seem to deter their endeavours at all. Ten on ten for letting the authorities know where to get off, loud and clear - but a big, fat zero for choosing a rather dim way to go about it.

Then there are those who decide that a spot of signature forging on their mother's/aunt's/dog's cheque book is the perfect way to get rid of their creditors. Right. Because that will never come to light, of course. Equally incredible are the credit card scams where the customer gets charged twice. If memory serves me right, there was the owner of a prominent local hotel and a restaurateur who were found guilty of precisely this in recent years.

I could go on, but you get the drift. Arsenio Lupin would weep.