Do we make more fuss over a first-born’s milestones than those of a second child? Does it matter? Three mothers share their experiences with Deana Luchia.

Pregnancy diaries, growth charts, special memory boxes for a first curl, tooth and shoes – many parents lovingly document every milestone of a first child.

I have absolutely no doubt that my sister and I are both loved, and always have been, and that’s what matters, not keeping score on faceshots

But as a family grows, time is an increasingly rare commodity, which can mean that second and third children are left with thin diaries of rushed scribbles and a baby box containing few if any ‘treasures’. But do children keep score, and if they do, does it matter?

Amanda Holmes is mum to Serena, 9, Amber 7, and Zoe 5. “We went on holiday about two months before Serena was born and made sure to take photos of me in a bikini. I have no photos of me pregnant with Zoe, even though a friend offered to take one, which I really regret now. The only ones I have of being pregnant with Amber are horrid snaps with me in a baggy jumper.

“Serena has a baby-book and we have scan pictures in that, but Amber didn’t even get a baby-book, and I’m not sure if I have any scan pictures. She does have a ‘baby box’ with little treasures in it, and I did keep notes of key dates thinking I would write them up afterwards, but (my husband) Steve threw the calendar away on December 31, not realising the significance of my scribbles.

“Funnily enough, Zoe has a DVD in my tummy (never watched), and a baby book. I think with number three I was shocked at the error of my ways with number two, and tried slightly to make amends. Also, perhaps when you know it is your last child, you want to catch those baby/toddler/child moments regardless of which child it is; you realise how fleeting it all is.

“Neither Steve nor I were working when Serena was very young, so there was plenty of time to do baby-book, cooing stuff. It’s a bit different with three young children, a husband at work and trying to settle into a new country, which was the situation when Zoe was born: Shall I do homework with number one, breastfeed number three or record number two’s word count for this week?

“I am a second child and I remember looking at a photo album from my childhood with very, very few pictures of me in it. I was a bit miffed, but not emotionally scarred for life, more mildly amused. I have absolutely no doubt that my sister and I are both loved, and always have been, and that’s what matters, not keeping score on faceshots.”

Rosie Hollingsworth is mum to Sarah, 12, and Forbes, 6. “Sarah’s medical record book was fully completed with all injections and milestones marked while Forbes’ medical book was completed only until he was six months… nice growth charts etc., but then it was forgotten.

“I think the main reason was lack of time during the second pregnancy as you have your first child to deal with. Also, with the second child you’ve done it before, so it is not as magical. The first time round I was just floating on a cloud as I was so happy. Second time round I knew what hard work was ahead of me.

“Even though Forbes didn’t get as much focus, he got the advantage of a lot more experience. I breastfed Sarah till she was ayear but she was then fed with jars of organic baby food becauseI couldn’t cook. Forbes had all homemade food from thestart and he will now eat anything. So, I don’t think the tailingoff in documentation reallymatters.”

Jo Watkinson is mother to Ellie, 2 in February, and to Oscar, aged four weeks. “I think I would feel guilty if I didn’t match the documentation for my second, mainly because I am so ridiculously organised and love to keep lists. To me, life is so precious and should be valued and emphasised.

“During both pregnancies I started a baby-book. I am still recording all Ellie’s firsts: first song, first steps, first smile, order of teeth etc., and when there isn’t room I also have a notebook where I add all her achievements and lists of words she knows and her likes and dislikes.

“With Oscar, I will endeavour to record all his achievements. I think Oscar’s memories are just as crucial as Ellie’s and I’d hate to think that years will pass by without recording these. Things are easily forgotten.

“I do get ridiculously carried away with documenting everything. I think this may be because I was the third baby and have few souvenirs, just a christening cup and cutlery and a few photos though my siblings have much more. I realise that this was only due to lack of time and fatigue (my parents had three children in three-and-a-half years) but I have learnt from it, I guess.

“I’d like to think that Oscar wouldn’t need to compare what I’ve recorded for each of them as he’ll know how I love and care for them both the same – like I know my parents do for me and my siblings. However, I’d like him to have the same valuable memories to reflect back on and know that I appreciated every day/minute spent with him (as I have with Ellie).”