Help for parents and children with stress

Many parents who find their children are stressed (yes, we do have a generation of stressed children as well as stressed adults) have no idea where to go or what to do to find help. Sadly, many end up on medication, which has an unfortunate side-effect and could affect their future lives from a health point of view.

Each year 10-14 youth suicides are directly attributed to bullying- UK Home Office

However, there is help and it seems ironic that the help can come from the internet when one of the most potent sources of stress for a child can come from the internet itself. This can range from ‘cyber bullying’ to peer pressure and all the intervening aspects of stress that relate to the modern technology of a child’s life.

There is no doubt that adults find technology stressful; however, losing one’s e-mail address, or a printer not working, is a different stress to a child being bullied via the internet.

Social networking sites can provide friends and immediate responses in a positive way; however, they can also provide serious drawbacks in the form of bullying and other upsetting situations.

Using the internet to find support can serve as a counter balance to the negative aspects of using it in the first place. It has a rich source of support and guidance for stressed children and young people aged 18 and under and, just as importantly, for parents who are at a loss of where to turn for guidance of their own when faced with a stressed child.

I have identified five sites, which have good reputations and can be supportive. Each is excellent in its own way and any parent could find these sites useful to keep in their ‘My favourites’ section on their laptop.

Many years ago I would be recommending books; now I recommend websites. However, this is a sign of the times and a couple of these sites are excellent for directing your own children if you suspect they are stressed.

They are interactive sites and would probably be beneficial for children who only identify through their computer rather than a ‘talking to’, a book, or even sympathy. This is not the only solution to child stress, but it is the solution acceptable by today’s children in today’s environment.

The website www.kidscape.org.uk is a charity set up in 1985 and is committed to keeping children safe from abuse. Kidscape is the first charity in the UK established specifically to prevent bullying and child sexual abuse. Kidscape believes that protecting children from harm is key.

Kidscape works to provide individuals and organisations with practical skills and resources necessary to keep children safe from harm. The Kidscape staff equip vulnerable children with practical non-threate-ning knowledge and skills in how to keep themselves safe and reduce the likelihood of future harm.

The charity works with children and young people under the age of 16, their parents/carers, and those who work with them. Some of the help will not be available to those outside the UK; however, it has a wealth of information and support.

Kidscape offers:

• A helpline offering support and advice to parents of bullied children;

• Booklets, literature, posters, training guides, educational videos on bullying, child protection, and parenting;

• National Comprehensive Training Programme on child safety and behaviour management issues;

• Advice and research;

• Confidence-building sessions for bullied children.

Kidscape feels that this kind of work is vital given the frightening statistics that:

• Each year 10-14 youth suicides are directly attributed to bullying (The UK Home Office);

• Bullied children are six times more likely to contemplate suicide than their non-bullied counterparts;

• one in 12 children are badly bullied to the point that it affects their education, relationships and even their prospects for jobs in later life;

• 66 per cent of paedophiles are known to the child.

The website www.childstress.com is a simple, short but effective website created by a child psychotherapist and a stress management consultant from the UK. It is a basic and easy-to-understand site for both children and parents. The fact that it is interactive for children is a fantastic idea and I love the layout and easy use of the site.

Here is a section taken from the ‘grown ups’ section which relates to children feeling stressed at Christmas.

“We think of Christmas as always a happy time for children, but sometimes it can be stressful too. Parents are under pressure to get everything ready in time, shops, billboards, television and text messages are telling us to get the perfect gift for our families, and we might start worrying that the whole thing is going to be disappointing. For some children, Christmas is sad because they are remembering special people or animals that aren’t around this time... it just doesn’t feel the same without them. Here are some ideas for parents and children to avoid getting wound up by Christmas, and to make it a calmer, happier time for everyone…”

www.theplacetobe.org.uk

• Winner of the 2011 Charity Award for ‘Advice, support and advocacy’.

• Set up in 1994 in response to the extent and depth of children’s emotional and behavioural difficulties while in school.

• Aims to improve the emotional well-being of children and their families.

www.pubs.ext.vt.edu

• Don’t be put off by the home page, look for the section ‘Home, family and finance’ click on ‘child development’.

• It is a broad-based educational site but has a vast amount of information on child stress, bullying, adolescent stress and depression, ADHD and how to talk to children.

www.stressfreekids.com

• Founded in Atlanta by Lore Lite in response to her children’s stress and her resulting stress.

• Resources, stress management tips, lesson plans for teachers and parents, blog and newsletter, information about stress and anger associated with autism.

• Numerous articles such as ‘Bully proof your child’, ‘Breathing Teen Stress Away, and ‘7 steps to managing yourself when your child melts down’.