Claudia Calleja
‘A home where I belong’
Frieda Bonello, now 74, still lives in the children’s home in Ħamrun where she was brought up. Photo: Darrin Zammit Lupi
Frieda Bonello rests on a walking frame as she slowly makes her way through the high-ceiling corridors of Fra Diegu children’s home where she has lived for the past 65 years.
Now 74 years old, Ms Bonello is one of four “grown up children” who still live in the home together with some 10 resident children.
“The nuns were like our mothers... I have nothing to complain about. If I do, I’ll miss out on heaven. This is my home and I have all I need,” she said.
Ms Bonello and her twin sister Lourdes, who passed away in April, were 11 months old when their mother died. Their father, Manweli, could not take care of them and their three elder siblings.
Her two older sisters and one brother went to live with relatives but she and her twin were taken to a home in Żejtun. When they turned nine they were moved to Fra Diegu in Ħamrun.
Despite never having lived in a family, Ms Bonello feels she did not miss out on family life and always felt loved by her father and siblings.
Her father, who worked with the Navy and Army, Air Force Institute, visited them regularly.
“He used to bring us his ration of butter, cheese and bread . . . He gave us everything he could. If I told him I needed a pair of shoes on a Sunday, on the Monday he’d bring it. I remember a pair of brown shoes with wax soles. He’d also get us socks to keep warm,” she recalled as her deep blue eyes sparked at the memory of her darling “daddy”.
On Christmas Day, she and her sister used to spend the day with their family after their father picked them up. Once the celebrations were over she did not mind it when she was taken back to the home.
“This was my home and I understood that there was nowhere else I could live. We were here because our mother died. I have no regrets,” she said.
She recalled how, when she was a child at the home, there were over 100 girls living there.
“At the time, they did not have flatlets like they have today . . . We had large dormitories lined with beds on both sides.” she said. “. . . And we used to go to many funerals. That was our outing. We used to walk behind the coffins and pray,” she smiled.
In those days, people used to give donations to homes so that children would pray as they walked in the funeral cortege. This was probably due to the belief that God answers children’s prayers first.
Ms Bonello also remembered the times when Dun Ġorġ Preca, who was made a saint in 2007, celebrated Mass at the home’s chapel.
“His Mass used to take really long. My father and his friends would come and see us on a Sunday. They would have to wait for a long time as his homily took very long . . . He was a saint,” she said.
Ms Bonello was never tempted to leave the home and venture out into the world. As she grew older she decided to become a nun but then changed her mind as she felt it was not her calling. She and her sister remained together and worked within the home, cooking, washing dishes and doing anything that needed to be done.
“I loved my sister so much... We were always together . . . I still wait for her sometimes,” she said as her eyes started to well up.
Ms Bonello is still in close contact with her relatives and friends outside the home and they visit her regularly and often invite her to their homes.
“I like it when they come for me to spend the day with them,” she said, echoing the enthusiasm of the child she once was.
Anyone who wishes to help Fra Diegu home can contact Mother Superior Sr Enrichetta Farrugia, Fra Diegu Home, Villambrosa Street, HMR 1127 or call on 2123 4362/2123 5366.
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Joe Xuereb
Jan 3rd, 22:49
@Dorielle Soler. I do not mind well-meaning institutions being showered with donations but taking children to a funeral and describe it as an outing....Some outing! Come on, it can hardly have been a laugh a minute for the kids. So the kids were, in a way, hired to attract donations?! Still does not make it right. Anymore than this 'culture' being shared by other cultures who are known to hire 'weepers' to cry for the dead. Not exactly crocodile tears but not much better. And we are all(?) familiar with tiny glass phials from the Roman era, used by the weepers to collect their tears. If they were to be paid they had to prove their worth. Hence the delicate little tubes. Child abuse is child abuse, in any era. Children down the coal-mines sometimes died and were, no doubt about it, sexually abused at times. They helped the family as you say. Needs must, and all that. The orphans at the Children's Home are unfortunate because of the loss of their parent/s. To expose them to a sad spectacle - crying is crying, as opposed to laughter - is piling it on a bit. And it sounds as if the practice has stopped; and about time too. Not forgetting that Man does not live by bread alone. Damage to the soul is equally deplorable especially when meted out by people who should have known better. But they didn't and that is no reason not to draw attention to things that are wrong, whether now or historic. Otherwise, how can we built a better world? Not by justifying anything because it was acceptable in them there 'golden days'.
If one were to ask one of these child-mourners how they felt about the 'outing' they would probably give a blank stare and say it was 'fun'. As in, 'they fed us, clothed us, and loved us', what else did we need. And that is exactly the problem with indoctrinating people into a state of perpetual infantilism. Of course it is too late now and that is the reason why these 'outings' do not happen anymore.
Carmen Laudi
Jan 2nd, 22:00
And God bless you dear Frida for all your courage. Keep well till we meet again.!
Dunstan Camilleri
Jan 2nd, 14:51
Whilsit reading this story this lovely lady filled up my eyes with tears so touching may God bless her and the Fra Diegu nuns,I sincerly wish them a happy new year.xxxx
JC Sullivan
Jan 2nd, 14:43
Seems like child-labour at it's best to me.
Dorielle Soler
Jan 2nd, 16:35
Not really, you know. Child labour .... think of the back breaking mining work done by kids in Victorian England and later, and even in poverty stricken Malta so many children had to work very hard to help their families through. You have to remember that being clothed, fed, educated and having a good, warm bed was heaven to most people of the time.
Joe Xuereb
Jan 2nd, 13:41
I grew up yards from Villambrosa but do not know of any Children's Home on it. Be that as it may.....(Having been away for fifty years, I thought Fra Diegu was the Old Folks' Home [L-Imgieret] on the corner of Fra Diegu Square, diagonally from the Police Station).
Ms. Bonello sounds like a really lovely lady who was much loved. She knew nothing else apart from her Home and she was grateful for it, and worked diligently for her upkeep. No doubt the presence of her sister helped both of them mutually. But this is not the purpose for my writing this comment.
Yes, I remember the setup 'quddiesa bit-tfal' (Mass for the dead WITH CHILDREN). By all accounts, children in such homes are unlucky because orphaned. As such, I do not think that their presence at a funeral cortege, within sight of the 'praesente cadavere' in, through a child's eye, a box, and any number of weeping adults all around, with the 'delights' of the interment still to come, was conducive to a child's well-being, presented as an outing. Rather as further indoctrination for them to be what was best for them so 'they did not miss out on heaven'. I do not know if Masses for the dead with children are still the norm, but I should hope not. After all, Malta has come a long way, hasn't it?! This was child-abuse most crass. I find it interesting that this story was published just now, of all days, and with a plea for donations at the end. Tactical or what?!
I wish Ms. Frieda Bonello good health for many years to come. She deserves that at least.
Dorielle Soler
Jan 2nd, 16:32
Well, you know, you have to take these things in context - no abuse was certainly intended and none perceived by the children. Old customs which seem weird today, but perfectly logical in their time - Has nobody come across ' il - bekkejja" ? These would be paid mourners, actually ! I have somewhat forgotten but did come across similar practises in other cultures in days past. Donations are always welcome by institutions - so be tolerant !
Joe Abela
Jan 2nd, 13:19
What a touching story!
A very Happy New Year to the Lady!
VV Bartolo
Jan 2nd, 11:11
wot a sweet lovely lady! God bless you dear xx
Lawrence Camilleri
Jan 2nd, 11:01
'As she grew older she decided to become a nun but then changed her mind as she felt it was not her calling.' Without being conscious of it, Ms Bonello and her twin sisters were living nuns' lives. 'Cooking, washing dishes and doing anything needed to be done' were their prayers. They devoted their lives helping the Sisters and the other residents. What else better could they have done? God bless you Ms Bonello with many more years full of health and energy.
S.M. Cuschieri
Jan 2nd, 10:25
" we used to go to many funerals. That was our outing. We used to walk behind the coffins and pray,” she smiled. Although it is a sweet but sad story I do not think that going to funerals as aan outing was in any way healthy for a young child.
Claire Busuttil
Jan 2nd, 10:56
@cuschieri- qatt ma smajt biha dil haga? di kienet xi haga regulari hawn malta. dak iz zmien kien hawn aktar injuranza......pero ma nahsibx li kienet isir b kattiverja, li jiehdu lit tfal tal istitut fil funerali.
Joe Abela
Jan 2nd, 13:20
I think Ms Busuttil is right ta!
S.M. Cuschieri
Jan 2nd, 14:00
@ Claire Busuttil
No actually claire, I have never heard of the walking after funerals, but that could be because I am actually british with a maltese father. I am just glad that there was no malice or brainwashing in that culture. Thank you for the info :).
Joe Camilleri
Jan 2nd, 15:03
It was one of the few ways to raise some money for the institute when poverty abounded all around. It was normal practice and there was nothing abusive about it.
Ms Maria Vella
Jan 2nd, 16:37
i think nowadays there are far worse things that could negatively affect children than funerals