To squat or not

Regular readers know I believe there is almost no fitness woe the squat cannot cure. Like a broken record I advocate the squat as the greatest thing since sliced wholemeal bread because whatever the goal, no other single exercise will help contribute as much towards your achievements.

Muscle up, tone up, or cut up, take your pick, because bending simultaneously at the hips and knees in just the right way and at just the right intensity seems to have this magical way of making it happen- Matthew Muscat Inglott

Muscle up, tone up, or cut up, take your pick, because bending simultaneously at the hips and knees in just the right way and at just the right intensity seems to have this magical way of making it happen. Some industry players may still have their doubts, but in the meantime first-class strength and fitness continues to bestow those who ignore the debates and step up to the plates.

Today’s exercise and fitness installment is inspired by a conversation that took place in the gym last week between myself and a long-time gym attendee I have known on and off for several years. Due to his desire to bulk up, our interactions have often ended in me ushering him towards the squat rack.

For strapping on kilos of brand new muscle all over even the most stubborn of male skeletons, there is nothing quite like heavy high-volume squats to dramatically stimulate growth hormone production and consequent mass gains. Squats plus food is a simple formula I have never seen fail, yet despite hearing it all before, here was one of my gym buddies who had still never quite taken the plunge.

I happened to be in the middle of my own weekly squat workout when we got talking. Racking the bar after another heavy set of five, I sat down to rest. “But do you actually enjoy doing them?” he said quizzically.

Taken aback somewhat in my nauseated state I quickly retorted between puffs and pants, “No, not really, it’s the most annoying feeling in the world!” To my surprise, he couldn’t have been happier with my immediate and honest reply. It seems he suddenly understood his aversion to the squat as something entirely normal and justified. “It’s motivating to know you hate them too,” he continued. “So I guess I’ll just crack on and do them.”

Not exactly a textbook motivational method, but upon reflection I couldn’t help but note yet one more benefit to be gained from the king of exercises. For lack of participation in any similar physical activity, through squatting we can actually learn and practise one of life’s all-important skills: stepping up.

Stepping up to the challenges that face us every day instead of walking away from them can make as much difference to the big picture as it can to our fitness goals.

The truth is that only a masochist would sincerely enjoy the actual feeling of a hard and heavy set of squats. Heavy squats stress the body in a generalised way, eliciting a hormonal response which leads to the growth of new muscle throughout the entire body, and not just those individual muscles directly involved in the movement itself.

Each repetition therefore is far more difficult than that of practically any other smaller exercise. It would seem there is little to enjoy about the exercise, but then again, who enjoys academic exams, high stakes job interviews, or calling in that dreaded talk with the people closest to us when stressful issues require discussion and resolution?

Of course, we can always choose to avoid all the unpleasant things that jolt us outside of our comfort zone, but where would that leave us in the long run? We all know that sometimes we must crack on, regardless of preference.

When squaring off with a loaded barbell before a set of squats we could always decide to go home instead and cuddle up on the sofa eating our favourite sweets and watching our favourite shows, or alternatively we could choose to step up, or as we say much less now than we did in the 1990s, “Go for it!”

Like duelling wild animals circling each other before battle, the choice usually boils down to two basic options: fight or flight. Choosing fight over flight is a useful reflex well worth practising, and who knows what fantastic places it might get us?

OK, so heavy squats are hard, but if you want to bulk up, then they’re well worth the effort. That’s all well and good, but what about the rest of us? Lighter squats are not nearly as challenging, but rest assured they still reward us more than lighter versions of perhaps any other exercise in existence.

Contrary to the hard and heavy routine, lighter squats tend to place less of a strain on the general system and more on the specific muscles involved, including the torso, butt, hips, and thighs both inner, outer, front, and back. Yes, ladies, you heard right, even by performing simple body weight squats with no additional resistance whatsoever you can tighten and tone your hips, buns and thighs.

So do I really hate doing squats? Not nearly as much as I love the sense of accomplishment associated with completing my targets for any given workout, conquering heavier weights in competition, or seeing the kilos on the weighing scales climb every week when attempting to gain weight.

So next time you find yourself facing the decision to squat or not, remember that nothing of great value comes without a struggle, and just step up to those plates.

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