The man of the hour, had the Lil’Elves’ silly dreams come true, would have been Joseph Muscat, but reality, as it tends to, bit them and him after the government benches, front and back, closed ranks and confirmed that the electorate’s will is going to carry on being respected.

I almost wish the confidence vote had gone against Lawrence Gonzi...- I.M. Beck

Of course, this didn’t stop the comments about the evil day being only put off and the cracks on the government side soon coming to the fore but, really, what was this other than a bit of whistling in the dark? Still, if it helps them get through the dark nights of disappointment that what they’re gagging for isn’t to be theirs just yet, let them whistle. I didn’t listen to the confidence debate in the House, mainly because Top Gear and The Big Bang Theory are more fun but being a consummate multitasker as long as it only takes a few screen swipes, I kept up to date through Twitter, a most excellent invention. Those who know how to use it are forced to condense their wisdom into SMS-length tweets, which concentrates the mind wonderfully and accommodates the average attention-span.

Among those who have not yet quite grasped tweeting are Labour’s “corps de virtual spin either they overshoot the character-limit, sometimes making their tweets read precisely the opposite of what they intend, or they simply paste in a url, which points, presumably, to some glob of wisdom, which works not at all because the whole point of Twitter is not to waste time bouncing around the net.

Still, I managed to grab a couple of nuggets from Labour’s own tweets, which make me thankful that the man who could have been of the hour isn’t because he’s not really fit for purpose, at least not yet.

For instance, Dr Muscat told the House that the Prime Minister should be concentrating on running the country rather than messing around with the buses. I find this rich to the point of saying that if it had been a dish served to me, I’d be considering an upchuck. After spending most of last week screeching about public transport (what price this screeching now, incidentally, with the system finally finding its feet?) and generally going about as if catching a bus were the most important thing since sliced bread made its appearance, the Leader of the Opposition now chides the Prime Minister for taking a direct interest in the subject.

Make your mind up, why don’t you?

Switching topics for no apparent reason (Twitter does this), Dr Muscat pronounced himself proud that Labour had decriminalised homosexuality. Yes, so he should be, and in this I am as one with him, but, excuse me, that was in the 1970s. So let’s have a bit less trying to convince the LGBT lobby that their natural home is Labour when it clearly isn’t, what with that ghetto-mentality and all.

And another thing, Dr Muscat, while on the subject of harking back to the past, do you really want us to remember the less salubrious elements of Labour’s past?

You know the ones I mean, the ones that involve, say, Honourable Gents such as Joe Debono Grech and Joe Mizzi standing and shouting in the House every time someone says something that is not to their liking, which seems to be most of the time. Thanks to Twitter I know they were doing that on Tuesday evening, too, just as I know that your former mentor and leader was having a good read while you were trotting out the sound-bites, while quite a few of your bonny lads were amusing themselves with other pastimes.

Why was that, do you think?

One of these sound bites, again reminding you I’m taking my information from Labour’s own tweets, was that the Prime Minister had failed to live up to his pre-election promise to reduce income tax, a refrain taken up by Dr Muscat’s deputy leader on the box after Labour’s hopes were dashed by the confidence vote. You can check out my blog on that subject, if you’re at all interested, but in the House, Dr Muscat lambasted the Prime Minister for promising tax cuts knowing that he couldn’t deliver because of the impending economic apocalypse.

This is interesting on two counts. One, Labour are finally coming around to the simple, stark fact that economic realities have changed and, two, the way they try to spin out of this by telling us the tall one that the Prime Minister knew what was coming and ploughed on regardless. Labour really should stop trying to rewrite history: the Prime Minister, along with everyone else, had no idea that Lehmann and everything else was going to come crashing down around our ears and to imply this is revisionist claptrap and nothing else.

What Twitter didn’t tell me, because Dr Muscat didn’t tell the House, is how Labour is going to cut utility tariffs if they get into power. He had already been consistent with himself on Sunday, when he failed to answer Herman Grech’s pointed questions on the subject, and he continued in this vein, saying that all would be revealed at the opportune (evoking, unconsciously if tellingly, the word “opportunism”) time and that, anyway, how could he commit himself now, when circumstances might change?

Interesting how for Labour circumstances changing is a good excuse not to do things but only when they are allowed to use it.

More interesting, though, is the attitude towards “families” that Labour has: invoking this saccharine concept is all very well but “families” can jolly well carry on paying higher tariffs for now because although Labour knows how to reduce tariffs (well, they say they know, anyway, believe them if you want) they ain’t telling because it is not politically expedient to share their wisdom just for now.

Cynical, or what?

It would be, except for the fact that it’s becoming increasingly clear that Labour don’t, really, have an idea what they’re going to do if they get in. I almost wish the confidence vote had gone against Lawrence Gonzi because the sight of Labour in general and Dr Muscat in particular going “oooh ’eck, now what do we do?” would have been hilarious.

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