Should we bother turning up?

So that’s that settled then. England will be getting on the plane for next summer’s European Championships after securing qualification with a 2-2 draw in Montenegro on Friday.

Thanks to Capello and his boys we don’t even get to spend the next eight months dreaming of what might be- James Calvert

Now what normally follows at this point for England fans is eight months of belief and hope. Belief that they have the quality to win the tournament and hope that the – hold on, let me count – 46 years of hurt, will come to an end.

However, this time it’s different. I don’t know about other England supporters out there, but I’m going to find it very hard to drum up either of those two emotions.

On Friday, England looked comfortable in the first half, admittedly, and probably should have been out of sight by half time.

But from the moment Montenegro’s first goal went in, England were an absolute shambles and thoroughly second best. That’s second best to a national team that is only four years old. From a country with a population only slightly larger than Malta’s.

How a team with aspirations of winning a major tournament can play that badly against relative minnows of European football is beyond me. Had England put in that second half performance against Spain, Germany, Italy or the Netherlands, they would have been absolutely slaughtered.

Of course, the plot was suitably thickened by Wayne Rooney’s latest moment of madness, which means he will miss at least the first match in Poland next summer, possibly more if Uefa get tetchy. And because it involves England, they probably will.

But for once I don’t entirely blame the lad. Yes, kicking out was very stupid of him and totally unnecessary, but I don’t think he should have even been on the pitch. His head was not right, which is totally unsurprising considering his father had just been arrested as part of an investigation into a betting scandal.

So at least part of the blame for Rooney seeing red has to be laid at the feet of Fabio Capello. I can understand he wanted Rooney to play – he is England’s best player – but did he need to keep him on the pitch so long?

However, we shouldn’t let the Rooney incident overshadow the reality: The current England team with its current manager and current tactics is nowhere near good enough to win Euro 2012.

Thanks to Capello and his boys we don’t even get to spend the next eight months dreaming of what might be. The reality of what will be is far too compelling.

And that is surprisingly sad.

Green fingers

Everton made the headlines last week when they signed a 15-year-old schoolboy from Bradford City.

The Merseyside club snapped up midfielder George Green who was also wanted by Tottenham Hotspur and Bayern Munich and a number of other clubs.

Although with add-ons and performance-related clauses the final transfer fee for Green could top £2 million, the initial outlay of around £300,000 makes it a gamble worth taking for the financially-challenged Merseyside club.

If Green fails then it is not an awful lot of money to have thrown away. A few more derby day coin throwing incidents and they should be covered.

However, if young Green succeeds, then Everton could have the next huge star on their hands. And that will mean they could be looking at profit in the tens of millions when they are forced to, inevitably, sell him on to a club with more money.

But before the club and its bank manager get overly excited they should look to the future with a little caution.

Because simply put, not all these teenage transfers work out as well as hoped. For every Scott Sinclair and Jermaine Pennant – both signed by big clubs from smaller clubs when they were in their mid-teens and now established Premier League stars – there is a Michael Woods and a Tom Taiwo.

‘Who the heck are they?’, I hear you ask.

Well, if you recall back in 2007 there was an almighty fuss when Chelsea poached Woods and Taiwo from Leeds United, both at the tender age of 16.

The London club ended up having to pay the Yorkshire club £5 million in compensation.

But where are the lads now?

Well, Woods never made a league appearance for Chelsea and was eventually released at the end of last season. He then had trial for Aberdeen but wasn’t given a contract and is now on trial at mighty Walsall.

Taiwo was equally anonymous at Stamford Bridge, also failing to make any league appearances. Today he is plying his trade at Carlisle United in League One.

For a club of Chelsea’s size, that is obviously no big deal. They probably keep £5 million in the petty cash box and can afford to take a gamble like that without thinking twice.

But it just goes to show that not all these youngsters with the world at their feet go on to conquer it.

In Green’s case it does sound like the young lad is a bit of a genius in the making. Bradford’s head of football development Archie Christie says he is the best he has seen in his position at that age: “He could become another Wayne Rooney or Paul Gascoigne.”

I suppose it is now up to Everton’s academy and its coaches to ensure Green becomes a Rooney, not a Woods, and turn €2 million into €20 million…

The league of gentlemen

The world of non-league football regularly throws up some rather interesting stories, and the past couple of weeks have been no exception.

The first involved Bath City and Newport County in a youth cup match during which Bath managed to get no less than six players sent off.

And the reason for most of the dismissals? Underwear that didn’t match the rest of the kit…

That’s right, you couldn’t make up this sort of thing could you? The referee noticed during the game that some of the Bath players were wearing undies of a different colour.

And so, being the sort of man who probably spends long cosy nights at home snuggled under the sheets with the rule book, he ordered them to go to the side of the pitch and change their underwear.

Arguments ensued, the red card was waved around wildly and Bath’s team was left in tatters. Even the manager was sent off.

I know a rule is a rule and I don’t expect referees to turn a blind eye to the offences they are supposed to be looking out for, but shouldn’t these things be checked before a match and not during?

And, let’s be honest, unless they were playing strip football, is the colour of their underwear really that crucial to the game?

Meanwhile, in another non-league moment of genius, this time in the heady heights of the Blue Square Premier, two players were sent off for fighting. Nothing unusual there. Apart from the fact they were from the same team.

And to make it worse, Kettering strikers Moses Ashikodi and Jean-Paul Marn came to blows as they were waiting for the restart after their own team had scored.

The incident came as the result of an argument over who should take a penalty. Both strikers wanted it, but Ashikodi ended up taking it and missed. To rub salt in the wound, Marn then scored from the resulting corner.

I have little doubt Marn was taking great pleasure in pointing this out to his strike partner as they waited for the restart.

Of course, this isn’t the first time players from the same team have been involved in an on-pitch scrap. It has even happened at the highest level of the game, with one incident involving Graeme Le Saux and David Batty if I recall correctly.

However, traditionally I think teammates generally fight after their opponents have scored, not their own team.

And if all that wasn’t enough, a few days later, Kettering took bizarre behaviour to a new level when they put a whopping 11 players on the transfer list, including the two naughty strikers.

It just goes to show that while the upper echelons of the game may have all the glitz and glamour, they don’t have a monopoly on good old-fashioned football weird.

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com
Twitter: @maltablade